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Pen Your Pride


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by KC

Matilda Mouse had taken up tennis as a way to lose weight and get into shape.  She had no intentions of anything beyond that.

What amazed her, was that as soon as she had learned the basics, she managed to always win the game. Her technique was far from professional, and others would snicker at her fumbling and tripping around the court. But somehow, she’d always have lucky breaks.

Matilda’s beginner’s luck continued as her tennis playing went on. In her first year, she had managed to beat every opponent in the local tennis league, always lurching and tripping, but still managing to be at the right place at the right moment. Videotapes were made of her playing, but revealed nothing but just happening to way in the right direction, lunging at the right moment, before falling down and picking herself up.

The “Matilda Mouse Style” soon became known nationally. As she continued to win every game, her opponents began to question the very validity of technique. For a few months, well known tennis players were seen lurching, fumbling and tripping on tennis courts. But they managed only to lose every game they played, and so resumed their former professional ways.

But Matilda continued her nonstop winning streak, and so inevitably ended up winning at Wimbledon. The British were a bit peeved at dealing with the clumsy, lumbering champion, but remained gracious when she accidentally dropped her trophy.

The day after Wimbledon, Matilda announced that she was tired of always falling down on tennis courts, and so was giving it up, and buying a cheese processing plant with her winnings.

the end

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