chapter twenty-seven

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(I'll put the translation at the end of the chapter and in the comment section)


Jennie is... gorgeous.

Most of the time, I wonder if her beauty is unreal because she has this... unexplained phenomenon surrounding her. People call it natural charisma but I feel like, it's so much more than that. She can draw everyone's attention with a single word and fascinate them, the second later.

It's not secret to say that Jennie is a beautiful girl. Women tend to be jealous of her popularity so they tried to put her down multiple times. Rebecca was the worst. She is a model and a few years ago, she spreaded false rumors about Jennie in which she allegedly had an affair with a married man and took illicit drugs.

Jennie thought Rebecca was her friend and so do I. She was always sweet to everyone but the truth is, she was the worst person I have ever met. Not only, she betrayed Jennie, she also tarnished her reputation. Even if, Jennie's manager denied everything and made an official statement, there's a lot people who believe Rebecca.

For months, Jennie received harsh comments and threats. I told her to stop worrying too much about it but I didn't know that she didn't listen to me.

She read every single hateful comments about her.

Three months after the scandals, she tried to take her life. No one expected this, except her. Irene found her, laying on bathtub and immediately called the ambulance. When it happened, I was in school when Elijah told me on the phone that Jennie was in the hospital.

On the way to see her, I couldn't stop crying because I felt horrible for being clueless. I thought she would be okay in less than a month because it was just dumb opinions of a few irrevelant people. I didn't imagine how she must have felt on the inside because she seemed to be fine with it. Or at least, she pretended to be.

I felt like my heart shattered into million of pieces when I saw her lying on a hospital bed. I couldn't look at her pale face and wires all over her arms any longer. I remember that Elijah wrapped me in a hug and told me that Jennie will be all right. I also remember that I cried all night.

It felt so relieving to hear that sentence but it doesn't take off the fact that this day remains the worst day of my life. After she got out of the hospital, nobody talked about her attempt because sometimes, it's better lo left things unsaid. The first months after she was seeing a psychologist at least four times in a week, Jennie started to feel better.

However, she kept her distance with new people and even now, she is cold to every single girl who is friendly with her. That is why she doesn't really get along with Niki or Chungha.  I don't blame her because she went through something that can traumatized anyone.

Jennie is precious and I feel lucky to spend time with her – even if I will never be by her side as a lover. In a less than ten years, she will meet a man and fall in love. She will have children because she always dreamt to be a mother and forty years later, those children will take care of her until she gives her last breath.

This is not an assumption.

Jennie will find someone and grow old with him. I know it will happen because she deserves her happy ending.

"We really need to talk," I tell her.

She's keeping something to herself, and it reminds me of her fleeting gaze a few days before she tried to kill herself.

I don't want to lose her. For a long time, I accepted that I will never be playing a big part in her life. I will always be her best friend's little sister to her. Nothing more, nothing less.

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