Twenty One Letters To Niall

Fifteen Letters To Niall

AN: SOMEONE STAB ME IN THE FACE QUICK QUICK QUICK I'M A DUMB IDIOT 

so

i haven't updated in a while, but hey look here's one! it'll be a long road ahead, folks. stick with me and we'll figure it all out because i cannot put into words how much i love you all and i want to hug every one of you for staying with me for all this time

i'm just really grateful for what i've got here, i love you

ps i'll read through it in the morning because my parents just got back and i didnt want to deny you the chapter for any longer

Niall sat there, computer in his lap, staring.

Staring at the address on Google Earth, at the huge house, at the various toy cars and skipping ropes strewn across it's front lawn, at the faded wooden sign with DAYBRIDGE CARE painted on in careful, light blue brushstrokes. One of the windows on the second floor had been flung open on the day the photo was taken, blue curtains flapping in the wind.

Niall wondered if it was Charlie's room. Because somewhere, in Birmingham apparently, she was sitting, or sleeping, or, or something. She was real, she was there, she was alive. And he could write back to her, he could go find her, he could do it.

 It had been nearly two days since Liam had discovered what Niall had failed to notice, and it was all he could think about. It was weird, yeah, but it was almost like finding out your favourite book character with a tragic past is real, and that they were living somewhere you could find them. And somehow it made it all the more worse, because these things were real, what had happened to Charlie was real. Everything she'd gone through.

 The realisation made him feel ill.

Because Charlie was brilliant, Charlie was beautiful, she was funny and sweet and lovely and Niall had never met her, but he felt like he knew her. So here's what he'd do: he go take the train to Birmingham on his day off, find her, and then he'd let her know that she wasn't alone.

He just had to finish the letters, he thought, tearing open the fifteenth. Just seven more to go.

Dear Niall,

Alice is still acting weird. I know I told you that in the last letter, but that was a week ago, and I don't understand, okay? She's quiet. Alice isn't normally quiet. And now she's shifty and suspicous, like she's trying to keep something from me. I get that I've only known her for the best part of a year, but she's my best friend, and if she's got something to tell you, then I wanna know. But you know what's the worst thing? She keeps giving me these looks, like she's feels awful for something she hasn't done yet. 

Blake used to give me the same look.

It was after Eliza died, right? And it was during the times when all I used to do was cry, curl up underneath the covers and ignore reality. Because right then the world was grey and empty of the people I loved. They were all gone, Niall. They'd left me. Do you know what that's like? To have no one that had the strength to stay behind for you? It's like having your heart ripped out daily, because everyday I look around and think about the empty spaces that they should be filling.