Me, Myself, & Lies

Who Am I

My alarm blared next to me and I groaned reaching over to shut it off. Welcome to another day in my sucky life.

I got dressed and ready for the day before heading out of my room. I joined the other girls and we ate our breakfast, some decided to engage in minuscule chat almost pretending to be normal. I scoffed at their attempt, we were far from normal.

A woman cleared her throat quickly gaining our attention. I looked up at our headmistress Ms. Perrin. She was a cold woman. Literally and figuratively.

"Good morning students." Her voice was sharp and authoritative as she greeted us.

"Good morning Ms. Perrin." All of our voices chimed together in response. How sickening.

Ms. Perrin ran through her usual duties, listing our schedules, lessons, and what not. Little by little, the students began to part and head off to their lessons.

"Mischa. Stay back please." I mentally rolled my eyes. What did she want now. 

"Mischa, come. Follow me to my office. I have things to discuss." Her Russian accent was thick and heavy. Although Russian was our first language, we usually spoke English amongst one another. It made it easier for us to blend in when the time came. By the look and sound of it, Ms. Perrin would be here forever.

I walked into her office and took a seat on the velvet chair in front of her desk. This fucking chair held more secrets than you could imagine. I hated every bit of it.

Nearly 10 years here and each second I spent made me hate myself even more. Yet I was stuck and no one could do anything about it. I was indebted to them. So was every other girl here. If it was up to me I would have hauled it out of here long ago.

"How are you Mischa." I looked up at her. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She didn't give a crap about me, yet those words were the kindest she had spoken to me in all my time here. I hated that it made me feel something.

"I'm fine." My response was short and sweet, yet I knew it wouldn't fool her. After all, she was the one who taught me how to lie. 

She cleared her throat again before continuing. "You've done well little Mischa. You are one of the best here. Bright, determined, strong, resilient." She chuckled. "You are the ideal student. You should be proud."

I grimaced at her words. A part of me was in fact proud at her validation. The other part of me hated myself for it. Hated myself for being so good at what I did.

"I think it is time for you to move on to bigger things. I have good news."

I stared at her emotionless, but my ears perked up at her invitation. 

"You have been chosen for an assignment. It will be longterm, I do not know how long so do not ask. You may come back one day, you may not, but you will be living in America until otherwise stated. Your assignment is simple, assimilate to their culture, their community and if the time should come when your skills are needed, you will be activated."

I took in a deep breath, she was sending me away.

"This packet contains all the information you will need. Memorize it, learn it, live it. Blend in well, have a family if you must, but make no mistake Mischa. No matter how well you live your little American life, do not forget that at the end of the day you belong to us."