BEGIN AGAIN.

Chapter 57.

A few minutes have passed and he hasn't said anything yet. His body has gone rock solid and I'm afraid, that he might not be breathing.

" R-Roman, please say something." I whisper out.

I feel desperate for him to say something, anything.

" What happened?"

I take a breath before confessing.

" It was my 11th birthday and my family decided to surprise me. They didn't want me depressing over you leaving anymore. They hosted the party at aunt Karen's house and the theme was a masked party.

We were playing hide and seek when it happened." I trail off. " I thought the shed would be a good place for me to hide, but I was wrong. I stepped in there and I was only there for a short while, but it was enough for someone to grab me from behind. I had no idea that someone had been in there, I swear." I stop short when I hear him breathing hard.

" I struggled against the person but he was so strong. I tried to get away, I did, but he threatened to kill me if I screamed. I was so terrified and couldn't even stop shaking. He ducted taped my mouth, arms and feet. At first I didn't know what he wanted but he made it clear, when he tore off my new dress and started taking pictures of me."

" Pictures?" He chokes out.

I nod. " I thought he would leave then but he started touching me. He said that he was teaching me on how to be a woman, now that I was grown. He would teach me how it feels to be an adult. He touched me in places that I had not been touched, he violated me with his hands. I tried to scream and thrash around but it was no use.

His eyes expressed everything his evil and peverse mind pictured, I felt dirty just by his eyes scanning every inch of my skin. I felt exposed and vulnerable, more so terrified out of my mind when he - " I gulp, before I continue. " He unbuckled his belt."

" No." He grits out, making me jump slightly when I hear his uneven breathing.

I should stop but I know that I have to tell him everything. He needs to know.

" I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see anymore of him undressing. I didn't want - ," my chest is paining from how hard my heart beats and difficulty in breathing. " I didn't want to see the image of him taking off his clothes, so I started to pray. My whole heart prayed for someone to come and save me. I was so lost in my prayer that everything else disappeared. I relied on God for help.

I was so surprised when he just stopped and he seemed angry that he stopped. He looked frustrated. I couldn't understand what was going on. He ordered me to close my eyes and count from 100 and backwards. I did as I was told, just wishing for him to go away and leave me alone. I heard him get dressed, I heard him take his things and I heard him take two breaths as I felt his eyes burn my skin, and then, just like that, when I opened my eyes, he was gone.

I was found shaking in a dark corner but I was too far gone, mentally from reality to talk. I lost a part of me that day and -"

" No." I hear him say. " No, this can't be. This cant be!" I jump again when this time, he starts hitting on the wall, right next to my head.

He buries his head in the crook of my neck, letting out harsh breaths through out his nose. I feel his body trembling violently and I fear for him.

He needs to breathe.

" Damnit, no, no." He groans, shaking his head.

" R-Roman?" I whisper, touching his chest but he flinches back.

To have him flinch back like that hurts.

He pulls away from me so fast, that my mind has no time to register what just happened. I watch him pacing back and forth, grabbing at his hair. He looks like someone who is about to explode at any time.