chapter 1: fights drugs and alcohol

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"YOU KNOW WHAT NIKA, ALL THIS FAME HAS GONE TO YOUR HEAD AND HAS MADE YOU A REAL BITCH" Safaree said furious. "DONT YOU EVER CALL ME OUT OF MY FUCKING NAME, ITS ONIKA TO YOU!" I yelled back. I took my engagement ring off and threw it on the floor "YOU KNOW WHAT" I continued "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE SAFAREE, AND TAKE YOUR SHIT WITH YOU" I began to throw his clothes out the window then started going around the house smashing his items with a baseball bat. "HEY NIC STOP, stop" he said trying to grab my hands. I Carried on swinging my arms bat in hand. I heard small and quick footsteps my 13 year old daughter Olivia came running down the stairs face streaked with tears. "MOM DAD STOP,STOP" she screamed. "stop please" she said barely above a whisper. She fell to her knees, buried her face in her hands and began cry again the sound of her quiet sniffles filling the room. This broke my heart and I stopped immediately. She suddenly gasped as she looked at Safaree's arm. I looked down at his arm my hand shaking. Blood. It dripped down his arm and onto my favourite Asian rug turning a small part of it a deep red. He sighed as he looked down at his arm. "Look nic I'm going, I love you but I can't go on like this" "Bye kiddo I love you and I'll call you later OK?" He said kissing Olivias forehead. He walked out the door and shut it behind him. I looked at Olivia and lost my temper "Mom im-" "NO OLIVIA THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN YOUR BEDROOM" "All you ever do is cause trouble" I muttered to myself. She must of heard because when I turned around tears ran down her cheeks uncontrollably as she stared at me blankly. I shook it off and ran to my room locking the door. I always push away the people I love I don't mean to but I do. I took a couple of sleeping pills to help me forget every thing "I'm violent by nature not cause u hate ya" I said as I closed my eyes.


After I left Nicki and I's house I drove over to my apartment, recently we have argued more than usual so I rented it out. I walked into the apartment and sat down on the couch head I'm hands. I loved nic but I suppose it was best for us not to date. Even though I loved her with all my heart and already missed her and Olivia. I attempted to call Olivia but she didn't pick up. I got up and grabbed two bottles whisky from the kitchen cupboard (I didn't really drink I fell in love with Nic but recently we have been arguing a lot more and I have started drinking heavily to forget about everything) and drank until I couldn't remember anything...


"I'm sorry" I whispered as Mom walked away. I'm always ruining things, she's right and it pretty much is my fault that Dad left. I walked up stairs grabbed my black duffel bag that read "this bag is full of crap" and packed n my baby pink leotard, pink tutu and tights before finally packing my Pink Satin ballet pumps Into the duffel back before stroking their soft material as I did it. I changed into my uggs my pineapple sweatpants and a hoodie before putting my hair up in a top knot. I quietly walked out of the house and shut the door. I called a cab and gave him 10 dollars that would be enough considering how far I'm going...

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