(Qannen) how they incentivize you to need medical attention

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Qannen wakes up in a bed in an unfamiliar room. Everything hurts and she can barely move. She feels: bad. A few feet away, at the foot of the bed there are two people making out and furiously dry-humping each other.

This is not her bed and not her room. She tries to say "Hey" to the make-out-ers but her throat is dry, her voice like dust, and they continue extremely trying to devour each other's faces.

There is a sign on the wall above them that reads: Needing help and requiring help are two different things.

There is a sign on the wall above them that reads: Needing help and requiring help are two different things

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She lies back and stares at the ceiling. A zonny curled up in the shape of a question mark.

She moves to throw the blanket off her body and sees her arms are covered in patches and sensors. So: a hospital. There's another bed next to hers, empty but used. Did she need healthcare? She remembers being in her room with Dzzahn. She's here now, OK, but she needs to not be here.

She manages to kick herself free from the covers. She slides down off the bed and stands up. Her legs disappear, the room turns sideways, and she crumples to the floor.

This, finally, gets the attention of the horny nurses. They stop kissing and look over at her. "omg are you OK," one asks.

Qannen coughs, freeing her voice. "I DON'T KNOW AM I?" she yells back.

The nurses sigh and begrudgingly help her back into bed.

"What happened to me?"

"Oh, wdk, we're not assigned to you or whatever," one of them says. It's a man. It's two men. She can't tell them apart without her screen. "We work over in Literally A Heart-Attack? Normally? And usually have sex in one of the ORs this time of day but it's like sooo busy today, which is annoying, so we were just hanging out in here and hoping maybe the room was empty but. You're in here. But you were passed out, so. Do you think you'll go back to sleep now? Because we're kind of..."

"No, I'm not going back to sleep, I'm getting out of here, so tell whoever's in charge I need to get my stuff and go."

"Oh I think they were getting a specialist to come look at your hand," the other nurse says.

Qannen looks at her hands. They look like hands. She sighs. "What's wrong with my hand???"

Nurse 1 gestures towards the hand that usually holds her screen. "It's all. Like. Deformed and gross."

Qannen sinks back into the bed. "It's not deformed, it's just not holding a screen."

"Well that's certainly not a professional opinion."

Qannen notices the bandage over her formerly broken finger. It feels fine. She touches her face, where Grobe burned her. There's a patch there too but she can feel her skin is already healed underneath.

"Where IS my screen, anyway."

"I have it," Dzzahn says. He's standing in the doorway, wearing branded MEDSKOOL sweats. His arms are filled with boxes and bottles.

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