New people

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So sorry for the long wait. Hope you enjoy this next chapter! Thanks for everyone who commented and voted!

I hardly got to sleep all night. My mind was thinking about Jacob. I hope he’s ok. He seemed to be acting all right but his temperature was through the roof. I hope it’s nothing serious. I called his house as soon as I woke up. Maybe I was over reacting; I was just really worried about him.

Billy answered the phone

“Hello” his gruff voice said. He sounded stressed.

 “Hey Billy. Is Jake ok?” I tried to make my voice light, so he wouldn’t know how worried I was.

“Ohh Bella. He’s still feeling ill” He hesitated and I thought his words were a lie. Something was definitely going on.

 “Can I come over to see him?” I knew he would never let me, if he didn’t want to tell me the truth he would hardly want me over there.

“No Bella its ok stay were you are” His voice urgent and a little distant like he had other things on his mind.

 “Well, tell him I rang Billy.” he gave a quick bye before hanging up.

What was I going to do when I had no Jacob? I felt a new hole in my chest open. This one wasn’t Edward; I had forgotten about him long ago, this was for Jacob. Why would Billy lie to me? Maybe he wasn’t lying. Am I thinking too much into this? I would give him a few days before I go see him. I had formed my life around Jacob now; he wasn’t going to get away from me that easy.

School on Monday dragged on. I hadn’t heard anything from Jacob the rest of Sunday. The hole in my chest was getting bigger but I kept trying to cover it up. I wasn’t getting depressed again. I had just started getting my friends back, I wasn’t going to go back to the way I was. I was becoming closer to Angela; once you got to know her she became less shy and was a really nice person to be around. Jessica still wasn’t talking to me and I didn’t care. I think she only wanted to be my friend to become more popular, which was stupid because I wasn't popular. Mike was in school, he said he had the bug that was going around. Ben was in as well. They recovered quickly; I hope that’s what Jake has. I really don’t know how I’m going to pass the days without him.

I rang Jacob again after school and after dinner. Billy was the one who answered each time saying the same thing; that he was ill and I couldn’t see him. My night was restless. The bad nightmares where coming back. It was different though. I was in a dark place. Maybe a forest, the wind was blowing hard and I could see nothing but slight movements of maybe branches moving. A red light appeared in the distance. I moved towards it, maybe it could show me the way out. My insides were screaming for me to turn back but my body didn’t oblige and continued moving towards it. A figure started to appear. And the red light turned into red blazing hair blowing about someone’s face. There was only one person I knew with red hair. I woke up screaming and thrashing in my bed.

Charlie had already left for work. I took a quick shower and got dressed for school. I needed new clothes badly. Grabbing a quick bite I left for school. I didn’t bother calling Billy; I didn’t want to be a pain in his side when Jacob was ill. Jacob was ill, I forced my self to believe because when I didn’t it only made the hole in my chest hurt more. I met  Angela in the cafeteria and made my way to class with her. School dragged on again. I tried my best to laugh with them and to act normal but to me, it felt all fake. I don’t know if they realised but they did they didn’t say anything.

I called Jake again as soon as I got home. There was no answer. Billy probably just went out somewhere and Jakes to ill to get the phone. I tried repeating that inside my head but for some reason I had a nagging feeling they didn’t answer for a reason. I had to go see him tomorrow even if Billy said not too, Jacob was my best friend and he still is... maybe even more because those kisses weren't nothing to me.

Tuesday night I had the same dream. I knew what was coming but for some reason I couldn’t get away from it. My body wasn’t listening to what I was asking it and kept moving toward the bright light. I tried to get myself to turn but I wasn’t moving anywhere. I couldn’t even move my head. It was like I was stuck in a body while someone else was controlling it.

I left a note for my dad before going to school saying I was going to Jakes. I had made my mind up. I couldn’t take another day with out my sun. My mood was starting to pick up as the end of school drew near. I would be seeing Jacob soon; thinking of this made me smile and the hole in my chest burn. I really had missed him.

I drove up to Jakes house. It looked the same as always and I missed coming here. It felt like home for some reason, somewhere where I am safe. Just as I step out of the truck Jacob came out off the house. He must have heard my truck. The hole in my chest burned even more; he didn’t look sick at all. The first thing I noticed about him was his hair, he had cut it. The new cut made him look older and suited him better. Next was the tattoo on his arm and how well developed his muscles were. I knew he was strong but not that strong. He had no t-shirt on just some low cut jean shorts, the 8-pack, if not more, stood out from a mile. I was trailing my eyes up and down his body as he came closer to me. “What do you want Bella” his voice was cold and not the usual happy Jacob I knew. I strained my head up to see him; he must have been about 6’8 now. He wasn’t looking at me though. “Jake,” I didn’t know how to continue. What do you say to a best friend, who is super hot with no shirt on, that hasn’t been answering your calls? “Why aren’t you answering my calls?” that will have to do. My voice was quiet, I knew he wasn’t ill but now he’s ignoring me. Does he not like me no more?

I could feel the tears start to burn in my eyes but I pushed them back. I’m not going to cry. “Bella, leave” It was still the same cold hard voice of someone else. Not Jacob. “What did I do Jake?” The tears were getting hard to control but I forced them back. “You did nothing.” So what is it? Did he just realise that I’m not good enough for him? “Jake please. Your all I really have” It wasn’t a lie but It also wasn’t true. I had Charlie, Angela and maybe Ben. For some reason I thought none of them mattered without him. “Bella you’re not right for me” that voice wasn’t Jacob he wouldn’t say that.  I placed my hand on his arm and felt a jolt of electricity. I pulled my hand back; there was always a spark but never something that strong. It was probably just static. He stared down at me, for the first time meeting my eyes.

I stared back and couldn’t look away. Usually I would blush at this staring but it felt natural like nothing mattered. I could see no emotion in his eyes. He’s probably just staring because I am.  I dragged my eyes away from his and the hole in my chest was no longer a hole, it was fire burning out my heart. I wanted to try to hold it back together but I wouldn’t show him how much it hurt. He didn’t say anything as I got back in the car. He wanted me to leave, so I will leave. Nothing had ever hurt me this much, not even Edward. Why do I always let people get close and when they do they break me. I hate being fragile, not being able to walk on a flat pavement without falling. I let people to close to easily.

I ran into the house, no longer able to hold back the tears. Charlie wasn’t home yet, which I was happy about, I didn’t want him to see me like this. I dived on the bed, shaking from my sobs. Why does nobody want me anymore? They either tell me to leave or they leave. I can’t take it! Why am I the one that always gets kicked down? This is the last time; I made a promise to myself. I’m not going to be a piece of gum under someone’s shoe. It is time for me to stand up for myself. I’m not going to let someone kick me this low again. I’m going to be a different Bella, not depressed or clumsy. Starting tomorrow with new clothes for a new person.

Hope you like please vote, comment and fan. If you see any mistakes can you please tell me! How do you think see should see Jake again? 

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