World Without Me (C.m.p.l.t.d.)

I'm not invisible.

I was eaten by anger. Nagpadalos-dalos ako.

Now I'm stuck in this world. Hanggang kailan ko hihintayin mag-2019? Hindi ko alam kung ilang araw na akong pagala-gala. But all through out, hindi pa rin ako nakakaramdam ng gutom maski uhaw. Immortal lang ang peg.

I kept following Fiah, Daniel or even myself in this world. Nothin’s new. Sa araw-araw kong pagsunod sa kanila, noon ko lang nakikita kung gaano kagulo ang buhay nila.

Si Daniel or Niel, hindi maka-move on sa akin. Si Fiah, stuck sa mga utos ni mom, ako na halos tumira na sa hospital sa sobrang workaholic.

Nakapag-time travel na rin ako year 2030. May anak na ako, kaloka. Anak namin ni Dave, Isabelle ang pangalan.

Si Daniel. Hindi siya nagasawa, and I kinda feel guilty dahil dahil yata sa akin kung bakit siya broken. Si Fiah, lang yata ang nagmamahal sa kaniya. Yes that girl already confessed her love for him, but there's only two words he say. “Not interested.”

Maraming babae ang naghahabol sa kaniya but his hearts always belong to mine–I mean sa Henzel Luque na nandito.

“Aya, hindi naman ‘yon sinasadya ni mom..”

“But she hurt me! You're already aware that I'm so sensitive kuya!”

“I know...sorry. I'll talk to mom for you, okay?” Nakaramdam ako ng inggit sa nakita. Bakit dito ang sweet ni kuya sa kapatid tapos sa akin? Nevermind.

Year 2018.

“Ma, sinaktan mo po si Fiah.”

“I know.” Mom sipping her wine habang nakatulala.

“You shouldn't say that. You really hurt her feelings. Pwede mo naman pong sabihin na ‘Do your best next time’ why do you have to tell her that you're not proud of her? Fiah did everything for you mom. Kahit ayaw niya ng business, she still pursue it just for you.”

Mom took a sipped again. “I was wrong, Sean. I mean that para mas magpursigi siya. But she misunderstood everything. I'm s-sorry, nagkamali ako.”

“Yes mom, you really are.”

“Ayaw ko lang na tinatapak tapak tayo ng mga Santillan na ‘yan. I'm doing my best to save us. But I've done enough. Napasobra yata ako, anak.”

Kuya tapped her. “Hayaan natin si Fiah ma. Ako, I'll pursue business, you can trust me for that mom. Let her do what she really wants to do. Don't pressure her.”

“S-sorry.”

“You've been treating her as if she's not your daughter, mom. You're treating her as if she's one of your persons. Hindi ganun si Fiah.” Napaiyak si mom ay niyakap siya agad ni kuya. A shed of tears suddenly fell on my cheeks agad ko ‘yung pinunas.

“Wag kang mag-nurse.”

“Ma! I want that.”

“Basta hindi!” Nagpadyak ako.

“I'll do everything basta let me!” She look at me for awhile bago ako tinaasan ng kilay.

“Quit playing volleyball.”

“What?!”

“Quit playing volleyball.” Nalaglag ang panga ko. Umalis na siya at iniwan akong napako sa kinatatayuan.

“Ma ang hilig mo talagang i-blackmail si Zel.”

“I'm doing that for her. May injury siya sa paa. What do you want me to do? If blackmailing her will make her quit to that sh*t then I'll do it.”