April Hale Learns About the Human Male

5: the golden statue and the modern painting

"Can you let me stay in your room tonight?"

When I walk into class, Ryder's plea is still ringing inside my head. I'm not one who dwells on the past, and I certainly am not the type of person who can remember miniscule details from previous conversations, but somehow I can remember everything that happened yesterday.

Ryder's eyes were darker than usual, and there's a slight slope on his shoulders that usually weren't there. He has always have good posture that my mom never fails to praise. But not last night.

Last night, Ryder looked every bit broken.

And I couldn't look away. Firstly, because I'm a heterosexual girl and it's impossible for any heterosexual girl to not be enticed by Ryder's looks. It's just nature. Secondly, it's the first time I've ever seen the manifestation of the word 'despondent' in the form of a man. It was actually quite a whole new experience for me.

I was busy thinking about all the actors on screen trying to portray despondent and failing miserably when Ryder coughed.

"So?"

And then I was reminded by his request. To let him sleep in my room. Now, that was another problem that I wasn't ready to get into.

1. Where would he sleep?

2. Where would I sleep?

3. (And the most important) Will Quentin kill us if he finds out?

My chest felt torn with the two directions I could take. Both of them pull at me right at the heartstrings. I looked down and stared at Ryder's Snoopy shoes. I wanted to help him and wipe that sad sad look on his face. But I didn't know if I wanted to share my room with someone else.

Before I reached my decision, the Snoopy shoes pivoted wordlessly.

And then I watched as Ryder walked away from me.

The view of Ryder's back is still with me even the day after, which is today, and that is not a good way to start this morning. This is an advanced Film class; one of my favorite classes. I'm determined to take the most comprehensive of notes.

Also...

"Nice to see you coming here so early," Alex Malifeci smiles at me, like he usually does when we're the first two people who get into this class.

I try to smile back at him, but I don't think I'm making the right kind of smile, because he responds with a small chuckle that ends way too soon. He sits next to me, because it's required for him to do so.

"So, anything good this weekend?"

Alex is my designated partner for this new program called United For All. UFA takes a person on the spectrum (like me!) and partners them with a neurotypical person (like him!) so that we can help each other. I think the creator of this program was being too unnecessarily kind on their wording; it's more like the NT is helping the one on the spectrum to not screw up their studies and social life.

Advanced Film is the only class that my NT and I share together, so it's the perfect time for him to get his weekly quota for guiding me on how to behave like a normal person. Or preferably, behave like him. In other words: poised, elegant, extraordinarily smart, and incredibly perceptive. He's the most admirable human being on the planet and I do feel strongly about him.

"Eyes up here, April," he chastises me. I look up to meet his clear green eyes and immediately my skin becomes hot. I take one big gulp and try my best to hold my gaze towards him. He smiles. My head goes blank. "Remember to look at the person you're talking to."