Boyf riends Oneshots [discontinued until further notice]

Sunshine

So, before anyone says anything, I know this has Micheal written, not at all in character but this is kinda a vent chapter and I know I already talked a bit but I still just kinda need to put it all somewhere and when I write things based off my life, it'll almost always be Micheal in my place because I just... I don't know how to explain it but I Nevermind back to your regularly scheduled program.
(This has been written over the course over a while and with enough dramatization even though it's not a lot to make it extra angsty cause that's how we roll in my corner of the playground)

P.S this doesn't really have a (complete) ship
Italics=thoughts
TW: violence, (don't worry the person that does that is getting help) implied self harm

(This emotional mess of writing is completely unedited so-)

It was a universally accepted fact that Micheal Mell was, is, and always will be perfectly fine. However, there's much less truth to that fact than one might like to believe

MICHEAL POV

~ Night of the party ~
     After Jeremy left I was just stranded to have a mental breakdown in the bathroom. An onlooker who doesn't know the whole story might think it's just because of Jeremy, when I'm reality it's so much more than that. It's the bullies, the pressure, my brother, school, the weight on my shoulders. And keeping it all inside, covering up with a smile. Because how can you go to vent and be sad about your problems when your friend's are so much worse.

     Like it or not when you keep things inside for so long everything is going to come bursting it at some point somehow.

     Keeping how much bullies knock down your self confidence and happiness every day. Calling you names, insulting you, excluding you. How much you hate yourself sometimes because of it and you just want to cry but you can't because you're supposed to be the happy smiley quirky ball of sunshine all the time so you just help your friend and keep it in.

     Keeping in all the pressure from having to live up to your expectation of being 'the easy kid' because that's what you're thought of to be. Because your parents need at least one 'easy' kid because lord knows what would happen if you were like your brother. So you just nod and agree and slap on a smile to keep up your 'sunshine' persona.

     Keeping in how much stress you get from school to get perfect grades. A single C on a quiz and you're done for. If you take pride in having all A's your whole life you can't do bad. If your parents are disappointed by a B on an English test then you have to work harder. But don't tell anyone because you're problems aren't worth their time. Put on the mask of jokes and smiles for longer.

     And the weight on your shoulders from having to keep up the persona you have. Acting like it doesn't phase you in the slightest when insults are thrown at you. Keep smiling and laughing through everything. You can't possibly feel bad about your own issues when your best friend is ridiculed to the point he's harmed himself at one time and almost stopped eating from being told they're fat even though they're tiny. So you throw on a smile and don't even bring up your own problems.

And that becomes routine, you do it every single day and it slowly crumbles you away on the inside and it becomes more and more of a difficult task to keep up with this charade. You want to keep it in so others don't think that you care more about your issues than theirs. But at the same time you want someone to reach down and save you from this pit of sadness. But you still put on the mask of smiles. You get used to this, you get used to people walking all over you. People fight over who gets to be your partner for things, not because they like you, because you're the equivalent of an answer key to them.

     And it hurts, it hurts more than anyone else knows.  More than you let anyone know.

STOP, just suck it up, there's people depending on on you to be easy and happy, and you can't live up to that if you're too busy feeling bad for yourself.