Royal Renegade

Chapter 35: To Know You

The moment he starts dragging them by their ankles, a tidal wave of guilt rushes over me.

These were Cadomian soldiers. Men whose families I have fought for over the years. Men I have betrayed today. I shouldn't let him dispose of their bodies. What if he just throws them out? I could bury them-- no, I don't even have a shovel. I'll have to-- Yes.

Running over, I snatch one of the ankles from his hand and make haste to drag away the body until he catches my elbow.

"Axelia--"

"Its fine, I can-- I should do it."

I tug my arm free and continue to drag the body until he knocks the ankle from my grasp while advancing towards me to perhaps give me a piece of his mind.

"They're my responsibility!" I scream causing his steps to halt. "I have to burn their bodies, not you. They fought for their Kingdom-- my Kingdom while I-- they're dead because of m--"

"No, stop," he interjects, taking hold of both my shoulders and leveling our eyes. "I killed them because I didn't have a choice. It was my life or theirs. That's not your fault."

There are only eight in here. I counted six dead from my daggers. Fourteen men lost their lives trying to kill one. Maynard would've made the count fifteen if I hadn't intervened.

"I'll take them outside, but you can get a torch to burn them if you want," he settles.

Nodding, I return to the fire gathering a few torches in case the wind or snow puts one out.

By the time I finish, he's got their bodies evenly stacked in a pyramid-like shape with their eyes shut and arms crossed over their chests. Their armor, propped up against the bodies to keep them secure and help sustain the flames once I place my torches over them.

I'm grateful when he leaves me alone with them.

I always mourn over fallen soldiers, but I don't want him to watch. He shouldn't feel the guilt I feel.

He didn't have a choice.

I did.

Tucking my face in my knees, I weep until the flames consume the men's bodies because I also feel guilty for a lack of guilt.

If he couldn't protect himself, I would have fought my men for him. Killed them. Fought Maynard-- forced him to kill me or be killed if he had insisted on pursuing Leonidas.

Why?

Stressed and cold, I sulk back to the den.

My tears are ice sickles by the time I pass Leonidas at the entryway.

Peering inside, I notice his tunic is dripping water as it hangs over the bonfire. Knowing he is shirtless, allures me more to his vulnerability than anything else.

"Maynard is one of the closest people to me," I murmur, stopping beside him. "Some of those men were probably his friends. And for years, my father was all I had because he feared if I left the castle I would be taken from him or killed. He did everything he could to keep me safe and healthy. Even though I didn't want to marry Herakles, he chose Herakles because it meant I could stay in Cadomia with him still by my side," I disclose, processing the words as I speak them.

Infuriated, I clutch the handle of a dagger at my hip before turning and shoving a forearm against his collarbone as I back him into a wall of the den. He grunts at the force of the collision of his back to the stone and I struggle to keep the tip of the dagger positioned at his heart when his wings burst out.

I'm about to lose my head.

Somehow, his will or my strength keeps them at bay, but I quickly secure the tip of my dagger above his heart which suppresses the motions of his wings.

One push is all it will take. I can end everything right here, right now.

"I should kill you," I seethe, meeting his eyes as fresh, hot tears stream down my cheeks. My limbs tremble.

Emotion is hidden behind his stoic gaze though a frown darkens his usually smooth, gentle facial feature. Yet, he makes no effort to disarm or fight me.

"What's stopping you from doing what they want then, Princess of Cadomia?" he inquires, distaste in the way he addresses my title. The sound of it only fueling my flames.

I prefer when he calls me a warrior Princess.

"Answer!" he suddenly growls, and without thought, I push up on my toes connecting my lips to his in a bold, impelling kiss. I'm surprised I dont miss, acrually reaching his lips instead of his chin, cheek or teeth. More shocking, he responds and along with every breath and molding of our mouths, I express emotions I can't put into words.

There is a moment when I think he might withdraw from me confused by my actions, but those thoughts are put to rest as he expertly slips my dagger from my fingers and hoists my legs up wrapping them around his waist.

My back replaces his against the cool stone and when I loop my arms around his neck I notice his wings have vanished.

Pressing his mouth firm against my own, I have to part my lips and our kiss seems to deepen with the introduction of his warm tongue. Adjusting, I slip a hand down to his chest to help lift my body. Even in his arms his tall stature makes me climb so I can reach his mouth better. Once settled, my other hand invades his hair combing the silky strands with my fingers.

It's all a bit flustering and I don't even realize how breathless I am until he parts from me.

Our exhales are nearly pants that intermingle as his forehead rests against my own, his eyebrows furrowing as thin veins slither beneath his closed eyes.

How is he still thirsty?

"If you need more blood--"

"I don't," he mumbles softly, eyes appearing a bright, glowing amber with the fire's lighting as he opens them again. "I'm just a little--" he trails off when the word he thinks of seems to trigger the withering of his cheeks.

Trigger.

"Frustrated?" I breathe the question, and concern fills his eyes as he eases my feet to the ground.

"We shouldn't discuss it," he cautions, distancing himself a few steps back from me. "The more I acknowledge it, the harder it is to keep myself under control." Then, frowning, he locates my dagger which wad tossed aside on the ground. "You were going to stab me. My wings wouldn't have responded if the threat wasn't real. I can sense your guilt and anger, but instead you kissed me."

Right.

"I feel something for you, but I'm not ready to believe it," I murmur and glance to my hands before tucking them behind my back. "How can I be falling in love with someone I don't really know? Also, killing you seemed right for so long, but I can't bring myself do it. I won't do it because I want--" again I trail off, and he advances towards me contentiously making me back against the wall before he tilts my chin up.

"What, Axelia? What do you want?" his voice strains in exasperation.

"To know you."

~~~~~~~~~

Image of: Leonidas

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