Cured [ManxMan]

Chapter Five

Kiara was right. It did get worse.

My breath rasped in my throat, coming in quick, helpless pants. The spasms had finally passed, at least for the moment, but my muscles still twitched with the aftershocks, and it was only a matter of time before the seizures would be back, a thought I dreaded. My throat ached from screaming. The sounds had become broken, desperate pleas for an end that would not come. The reprieve was a welcome change, but it was not the end I wanted.

Mattie was right. They weren't saving me, they were giving me a long, terrible end. I wanted to be dead. I had been a zombie for, what, years? And I had never wished for death. Not like this. I had never been as miserable as this.

How long had I been here? Not the eternity I felt it had been, but it must have been days. They were a blur of pain and moments of respite, moments where I was aware of my surroundings, of Kiara's kind words and gentle hands, Ajay's quiet and steady presence. Sometimes they were quiet moments, when the lights were dimmed and I was alone. I liked these moments best, without the confusing presence of the humans keeping me from resting.

It was in one of these moments that I was woken by the quiet sound of the door creaking open. Even blinking my eyes open and tilting my head toward the door took a monumental effort, so I was disappointed to find my reward was a silent silhouette in the doorway. I couldn't make much out in the dark, just that the figure was tall and the scent drifting to me was male.

He lingered in the doorway, the silence broken by the machine voicing my heartbeat and my rasping breath. I watched him, unable to do much more, a mild feeling of curiosity breaking the haze still lingering in my mind from the last seizure and my brief rest. I felt him watching me, too, the moonlight from the window on my left falling over the bed so I was revealed to him, while he stood cloaked in the shadows.

When he moved, it wasn't far; he took two slow steps forward until the patch of moonlight from the other window fell on him. His head was down, the light glinting off his dark hair and the metal buttons on his coat. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his back hunched slightly. And then he looked up, and our eyes met.

There was something familiar about him, though I couldn't remember where I had seen him. He had warm, tan skin, a few shades lighter than Ajay's, with strong, masculine features, and a sharp, defined jaw. We studied each other; his face was unreadable, but I wasn't sure what mine may have betrayed. Could he see my confusion? Or was I a blank slate, nothing but an emotionless zombie?

He took a breath, started to speak, didn't. His jaw tightened, eyes pinching closed, and he sighed. "I... I didn't really believe... I guess I didn't want to believe." I may not have recognized his face, but I knew that voice. So this was Mattie. He took a deep breath, and when his eyes opened, they looked too bright, the moonlight reflecting off the tears brimming there. "But I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I... I had to know if it was real, if... if there was a chance." His voice broke, and he cut off, covering his face with one hand.

Why did seeing Mattie so destroyed hurt? It wasn't like the pain that had become a constant since I arrived here; this was something different, something new. Though perhaps not entirely new; I remembered the hooks in my chest when I'd heard Mattie in the hallway with Kiara and Ajay. I was still just as confused at the source, though.

I could almost see, in the lines of his face, how he would look when he smiled. I could almost remember how he would look when he smiled. It was a startling thought, the heart monitor speeding to reflect my surprise. For a moment, I could see him, a younger version of him, his hair shorter, his skin lighter, less sun kissed, and he was smiling at me. Why did I feel like he should always be smiling? Like that was normal, for a man I didn't know?