Chapter 41~What Love Means

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***AUTHOR’S NOTE***

My apologies for the late update! I had a very, very, busy week. But we are having our Christmas vacation for at most 3 weeks starting today! Woot woot! :D Besides, I was busy reading the famous pocket book here at the Philippines published by PSICOM which is “Talk Back and You’re Dead”. *u* It’s so amazinggggg!!! 

Btw, I have a new SasuSaku modern fanfic called False Hope. Check it out, pleaseeee!! :)

Now Playing: Forevermore

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“Sensei,” I started. We were still waiting for Sasuke and Naruto, but I’m 99% sure that they won’t be coming and we’re just waiting for nothing. I can’t believe I’m in one of those cliche moment when the girl is waiting for a boy, and then the boy doesn’t come yet the girl still fights for martyrdom. 

He faced me with his famous eye-smile. It just makes me guilty. How can I show myself to my teammates with our ruined and destroyed bond? I hesitated a bit and heaved a sigh.

“Is it wrong to love someone?” I asked. 

It didn’t even take him a second to answer, “No.”

His answer, his tone of saying his answer... it confuses me so much. No? By the looks of it, I think it’s a cruel feeling. Love hurts. Loving someone makes a big wound inside one’s heart. But he said that it is not a sin, it is not wrong. But in my case, why do I think it’s wrong? Oh, because I hurt someone. Not just someone, I hurt both of my friends. 

I smiled absentmindedly, “Then why did this happen? All I did was to love. But I ended up hurting them and myself. Loving is a sin. A mistake...” I cleared my throat, and added, “Why is it not wrong?”

Kakashi chuckled, “First of all, liking someone is different from loving an individual, Sakura.”

I know that. But the pain is just the same. You get rejected by your ‘crush’ then boom, major depression is the result! It’s just the same. Yes, love is harder to control and it’s more powerful than infatuation, but the pain... it’s just similar. 

“Sakura, love is something you share with someone. Love is a feeling that you can’t resist. This world is surrounded with hatred. And love is the weapon to stop that tremendous feeling. Getting hurt emotionally by love is normal because when you tend to fall for someone, you tend to get hurt as much as you love that person with all your heart. It happens, Sakura. Always. Never have I heard anyone who didn’t fall inlove and get shattered emotionally.”

I didn’t know how to react. But Kakashi just went on.

“Love is not a cruel thing. People just think of it that way since pain is part of love. It is not wrong to fall for someone, love is normal in our nature.” He chuckled, “Now, don’t be too hard on yourself, Sakura.”

A tear fell unconsciously from my face. “But if to love someone is not wrong, why did this happen? Why are we hurt? How did I do this?”

A sigh came from my teacher, “Look, emotional pain due to love is normal as well. We tend to get hurt, we learn, we find a better path. Sakura---”

“Kakashi-sensei, I hurt two guys at the same time! I’m an awful person, I should be punished!” and I cried silently as I continue to wipe the tears falling from my face.

He pats my shoulder, “You’re just confuse and you have not made your decision on who you love more yet. It takes time to identify which is which. And by which, you have to decided and feel who you really love. Maybe now, today, later, you think that you love both of them. But sooner or later, you’ll know who you really fell to. Don’t take them from granted because you might regret it. Make this right, Sakura.”

He stood up, “I guess they’re not coming. I’ll just tell the Hokage to send another team for this,” he said but it surprised me when he handed me a handkerchief, “Here.”

I chuckled a little, remembering that this is another cliche moment. You know, when a girl cries in a movie, the guy would give him a handkerchief. Altough in my case, my teacher is the one who comforted me. He showed me what ‘love’ really means. 

“What’s funny?” he asked, dumbfounded. 

“Too cliche! This moment is too cliche! Hahaha!” I laugh as I received his handkerchief and give it back to him when I wiped my tears. 

“Hah. Well, I hope you know why this happened. Take care, Sakura.” he smiled.

“Thank you for everything, Kakashi-sensei.” 

Love is putting someone’s need before yours. Love isn’t such a cruel thing, after all. 

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