KIKHEDA - ai hod yu in

My name is Prudence

Agnes Emerson was my best friend since we were children. We were born in the same year, we liked the same things, we both didn't have a mother, we had a crush on the same boys and we had the same enemies.
That was until we were 15. We had a fight. That's all.

After that she never spoke a word with me again. She suddenly became close with the girls who we always hated. Those girls who were nothing but superficial and mean to others. Those girls whose parents forbid them to be friends with me. Agnes' father, Carl Emerson was the only one who wouldn't treat me like shit, when even Cage, my older brother would do.
The point was, that the other parents didn't treat me like shit, they simply just ignored me. They would stop talking, when I was entering the room and look down to the ground. I never understood that. I always thought that they were just jealous, because I was the daughter of Dante Wallace, the president of Mount Weather. I was just naive, young and dumb. After Agnes and I broke up, if you can call it that, I simply just accepted the hate towards me. I didn't care at all, who would like me and who wouldn't. The only thing that got my blood boiling was that I was caged in this montain with those people. I don't mean to be unfair. Our home was quite a big place. But every time Agnes' dad was talking about the earth, the way it looked like, the way it would probably smell like if he wouldn't have to wear an anti-radioactive suit, every time I felt that strong desire of freedom. I just wanted to run away into the endless beauty of the earth. But of course, that was something that I could never do, thanks to the radioactivity. The only way for me to really see the real earth one day was becoming a member of the guardsmen. This way I could see the surface and walk on the ground, like Emerson.
This way I could escape my loneliness. My feeling of not belonging here.

After all, I got used to being lonely. I actually started to like it. Being on my own, having to deal with nothing but my own thoughts, kind of kept me sane.
Unfortunately for those people who didn't treat me bad I became very cold towards them. Back then I thought I had to prove something. But today I know that I was just scared of being rejected. So if I reject them before they can reject me, I wouldn't get hurt.

I kept going on like that until I was 17, when everything changed.
It started with the 48 and it ended with them.