Ch.8

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promise/ˈprɒmɪs/

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promise
/ˈprɒmɪs/

noun
1.
a declaration or assurance that one will do something or that a particular thing will happen.

verb
1.
assure someone that one will definitely do something or that something will happen.

2.
give good grounds for expecting (a particular occurrence).














"Hoseok?"

"Hoseok!"

"Hoseok!"

Next thing I know, my eyes immediately open and I gasp. I glance at a familiar face and engulf her into a hug, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Hoseok? Are you okay? What happened?" Mira questions, returning the embrace.

"I'm just so glad to be here with you, right now." I express my relief, still engulfed.

Mira smiles and she hugs me a little tighter. "I'm pleased to hear that."



Why did it feel as if I lost all life inside me when I blacked out? I got to admit, it scared me. A lot.

I thought I would never see Mira again. She needs me now more than ever. If she doesn't have anyone by her side, she will break and I can't let that happen. She means the world to me and more.

As I grew up, I've always wanted to be someone's hope in their life — fill their lives with happiness, bliss and make them hopeful. To be a sunshine in someone's life to brighten their days and smiles. Just to hear someone say: "this man, Jung Hoseok, he gave me hope, he made me hopeful. He's hope. He is my hope." That's how I want Mira to feel.

All my life, I felt like I wasn't good enough for anybody. Whilst with my brothers, it felt as though I was wearing a mask — a happy one. I was concealing my pain and deteriorated health. I was hurting but they didn't notice. They only saw what was on the outside: my laughter, my smile, my "happiness". They didn't understand what was happening to me on the inside: depression, my mental state, contemplation of suicide.

Maybe I was burdensome? Is that why they failed to understand me?

I actually attempted suicide many times, I almost became an insomniac. My mental health deteriorated that I ended up being admitted to a hospital for the mentally unstable. They also had support groups for individuals with mental health issues and honestly, they never helped. They acted as if they were there for you and were 'active listeners', but the truth was they didn't give a crap about how we felt. They neither cared about me or Jimin-

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