sincerely yours | chaelisa

05 | liminal friends

She lead the way to the parking lot adjacent the store and the already closed supermarket.

"This is technically a liminal space too. You should understand that by now." She took a quick swig. "It's a parking lot with no cars nor people. Whenever I pass by this place at night, I feel like it's different and it's full of neutral energy. It is kinda off putting but I like it."

I nodded despite not having a clue what to reply to her. She lead the way to the bench by the grocery store, sitting us down. I looked at her hand in mind. "Rosé, you're comfortable holding hands?"

"Aren't you?"

"I'm not used to it being a thing between friends especially since we technically just became acquaintances." I replied. "I always thought of it as something between lovers."

Rosé paused before nodding understandably. "Then think of us as liminal friends at this moment. In the morning, like in the past, we didn't really talk much. Our purpose was just to exchange niceties in class or to just ignore each other's existence. However, now, we're taking away that purpose. Holding hands isn't normal for us, out of context almost, but at this moment, it gives you a weird feeling that is beyond the regular emotions you feel. We're like each other's liminal space."

"If it bothers you though, we can just not do it." She said as she withdrew her hands from mine. She silently grabbed the bottle before handing it to me.

I smiled before taking a swig. Rosé basically just answered my thoughts from earlier tonight. I needed this moment of unfamiliarity, of something different. How different could things be when I was hanging out with some weird girl I barely know in the parking lot at way past midnight.

"Look," Rosé pointed. "A cart."

She stood of up from our seat before and before I knew it, she hopped into it and gestured for me to push her. I shook my head. "Rosé, I don't think we should. It's dangerous."

She laughed. "No, no, just imagine now as a blur in reality. Nothing can hurt us." She smiled widely.

"Rosé, you're really weird." It slipped out of my mouth faster than I could stop it but the Australian laughed. Her laugh was so melodious in contrast to my snorts when I laugh.

"Yeah, people say I am but honestly, who gives a fuck?" She said stretching her arms in the air. "Life is too short to care too much about what other people think. I do what I want to do."

"Life is too short," I told Jennie as I plopped down on her bed. "We need at least a hundred years worth of living to travel every place we want to go to."

Jennie laughed. "Well, the point of life is not to do everything you ever dreamed of, I guess."

"Then what's the point?" I huffed.

Her expression went serious as she plopped down in bed beside me. "If you find out, tell me because I have no fucking clue."

"Life is too short," I repeated to Rosé.

She laughed. "You're weird too, Lisa." She commented. "You zone out a lot."

I shook my head and laughed before suddenly pushing the cart that held her in, causing her to squeal in surprise. I pushed her around in circles as she laughed hysterically.

"Lisa, you're scrambling my head!" She shouted with utter joy.

"That's for calling me weird." I teased as I kept pushing faster in wild jerking movements, causing her to toss around in it.

"I take it back! I take it back!"

I chuckled as I slowed down. I was kinda breathless after it all but we were still laughing. Rosé smiled at me as she got off the cart, holding out her hand for me to help her out.

"Do you want to go at it?" She asked but I curtly refused.

"I'm too winded. Let's take a rest." I said as I opened up the bottle of liquor and swigged at it. "Aren't you tired?"

She hummed. "A bit but... I have to show you more."

"There's more?" I asked. She just smiled, took my hand and again, we began running. I used to have good endurance but weeks of not training and the alcohol I drank now got me out of breath easily.

Rosé didn't seem as affected by it though. She was practically floating on as we ran.

Finally, we reached a playground. I was going to grab in my pocket to check the time but I decided not to. I'd rather live in the moment than fixate about when I should be heading home.

Rosé pranced to the swing with glee, sitting down as she was consumed by giggles. I smiled and sat beside her. The alcohol was getting to me but I was more of a quiet drunk than the laughing kind.

"Lisa," Rosé said as she gently swung. "You know you can live differently right."

She sounded a bit winded from all the running and drinking but her voice was unfaltering. I mimicked her and swung slowly. She was going a little bit higher this time.

"What do you mean?"

She inhaled as she went up higher and higher. "You don't have to live in sorrow anymore." She answered. "Swing like me. Come on."

Before I could even ask a question, she grabbed the chain of my swing along with hers and urged me to swing. I followed suit and before I knew it, everything was fast and I was high up in the sky. I felt...

I don't know. It just felt different.

"On the count of three, jump off."

"Rosé, no!" I was taken aback but the momentum was so fast that I couldn't stop.

"Trust me!" She laughed. "1... 2... 3!"

I jumped and no exaggerations but I thought I was going to die until I was met by sand. It wasn't comfortable but it certainly didn't hurt much. I spit out the tiny amount of sand that entered my mouth. "Fuck."

I looked beside me to see Rosé sprawled out in the sand too, giggling. "Silly."

"Me?"

She nodded.

"You're the one who wanted to jump." I replied to which she just chuckled to. "That wasn't all that fun."

Rosé hummed. "I had fun."

I turned around and laid on my back looking at the sky. "The sky looks different."

"Anything can look different if you want it to." She replied. "Especially when you take a bunch of sand to your face."

I laughed. "You're so fucking weird."

"I know," She replied. "What's the point of hiding the fact that I'm weird though? So many people hide behind pretension. It's exhausting."

I stayed silent. I was pretty sure in her last days, Jennie was hiding behind a mask too. I knew she was sad but in her last days, we spent so much happiness. We biked. We ate dinner out a lot. She gave me her old books and clothes to keep. I wonder what made her slip.

"Lisa, I think you're pretty."

My train of thought was broken, hearing Rosé say it. I looked at her to find her looking at me with curiosity. "I like the way your eyes are wide yet pulled at the side, kinda like a cat. I like your nose too. Your lips are my favourite feature though. They kinda look like petals when you look up the sky."

"Uh, I uh..."

"I just wanted to let you know that." She said before looking back up to the sky as if she hadn't just startled me with that information. She was so nonchalant. "I liked your company tonight."

I gulped. "We can see each other tomorrow too."

Rosé smiled and closed her eyes. "I'd love that."

I smiled with her and mirrored her, closing my eyes slowly. Before I knew it, I was dazing into a gentle slumber. I felt at peace.