It has been a year since Jisoo broke up with her. Six years of relationships fell appart just because one of them was so done living in hell, the way she ended herself just like a game. Fooling her own life.
Those days where Jisoo would stare at her with curiosity, as if asking her how did she manage to date both girls at the same time. How did she slept her at night with lies making her feel like a loser, darling nobody loves to be lied. But that's all in the past.
These days the members meet in studio quite often than usual thus would ended up sleeping in a dorm preparing for a comeback, a lot of things had change in a year. They would talk casually to each other but was never comfortable enough being alone with each other too.
She had not move on.
Still beating in sorrow.
So many times Lisa and Jisoo cuddling in living room wrecking her, dragging her emotionally. Pulling her happy face into something she can't understand, quite frequent the youngest member cause her plenty realisation that Jisoo derserve to be happy.
She realise her deepest fear was all about being replace with someone capable than her. The only thing that change is she's much calmer than before, "Girls i'm going out", she smile and Jisoo smiling never failed crumpling her feelings like hell.
She close the door, letting those sentimental feelings vanish in one sighed. Atleast Jisoo is happy, with Lisa.
Went out to meet chahee, dating her bestfriend like a normal couple. Enjoying sunsets, mesmerizing each moment and holding her with so much appreciation. But being broken is not easy for Chahee too, sometimes the latter would crave for more than just a cuddle.
Which she can't relate so much into it anymore, it's not like they never survive sex for one month. Things are not the same anymore, she would use the lame reason of being tired. They both know she just need peace or maybe silence from time to time.
"Sorry i didn't have enough sleep".
"It's okay we did feel the same thing before the group disbanded Jen, i love you. Let's sleep". Chahee nuzzled her neck before snuggled closer on the afternoon nap.
"I love you too".
We often think love is enough but how can it be enough when you're loving a mistake. She is a mistake. Herself is a big black hole of her own sanity, the words doesn't initiate butterflies like the way she said it for Jisoo.
The romantic feelings she have for Jisoo cannot be bring further to Chahee, Jisoo will always be the other half of her. No one can force that things away from her, not even the girl that was resting on her chest.
How lonely life can be when actually we have nothing to worry about, she was not sleeping and the things that caught her eyes in the room was a picture of her. Hanging beside's Chahee's picture frame. That picture was taken by Jisoo in Jeju and looking at how bright her smile was sending her chest to the pit of depression.
In the middle of silence as Jisoo had hand clenching tight on the gaming set she just smile and doing the usual task she would do, peeking and doing the same reaction whenever Jisoo dissapointedly losing the game, but most of it the girl would earn victory.
But not when playing with Jennie, for the past few years when Jisoo called to be Jennie's Love she always had moment to imagine how does it feel to be love by the symbol of visual of the group.