Without The Words

Chapter 10

Both Saturday and Sunday went as they usually did. After dinner, I would throw on sweatpants and a hoodie and prepare for a two hour jog.

I only went during the sunset, when the sky rotated to a beautiful glowing pink, with swirls of orange or yellow. As my legs would carry me, the sunset would fade into darker colors, and eventually it would settle on the darkest. The stars would pop out one by one, or the dark clouds would appear in the sky, blending in with the rest of the mind-boggling midnight beauty.

On Monday, I was looked at with pure confusion. Some students thought I was new because I looked that different.

"Poppy, is it?" A girl with pink hair asked, a coach bag in her hand while her other manicured hand twirled a lock of hair.

I nodded, and her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

That's how it usually goes, I thought.

I memorized the way people reacted to my verbal absence. At first, confusion. Then they would get mad because they would think you're ignoring them. Then it would move to annoyance, and eventually they would leave.

This cycle only happened four times, each individual already faceless in my memory. If they really wanted to be my friend, they would make the effort of not judging. Clearly, they didn't care that much.

"Why don't you talk?" She asked.

I shrugged casually, and we stared at each other for exactly sixteen seconds until she walked away.

That happened in the morning, and now I was sitting in Mr. Lee's class, mindlessly jotting down notes as the quiet chatter of students echoed around me. I was oblivious to the rest of the world. Everything else was just noise, besides Mr. Lee's voice. His voice was the only thing I could hear.

Mr. Lee kept glancing at me. I debated on whether or not it was just a figment of my imagination, but it couldn't be. I saw the way his eyes moved to me. I saw the dark blue exquisiteness in his eyes, even from where I was sitting all the way in the back. My head dropped on my folded hands as my pencil lay beside me, and my heart thumped in the silence of my little trance.

Should I smile at him? Should I nod? The next time he looks at me, should I lock eyes or look away like I usually do? The possibilities could go on for decades.

Before I could decide, a loud sound echoed not only throughout our classroom, but throughout the school.

"Lockdown, I repeat, this is a lockdown. Please remain in an unseen area in your classroom until further notice." The speaker above the classroom door sounded, and then for exactly a minute, an alarm shrilled violently.

"Left side of the classroom. Now." Mr. Lee ordered sternly.

Everyone listened to him and headed to the left side of the classroom, myself getting lost in the crowd once again.

I had no idea what was happening. I'd never participated in something like this before. I slowly stepped toward the left side of the classroom as the students eyed me with judgmental orbs, each individual looking me up and down, as if inspecting me. A student had flicked the lights off and my vision turned dark.

"Are you gonna move or what?" A girl asked, someone I didn't know at all. Her voice dripped with amusement.

"Mr. Lee, why isn't she moving?" Another student spoke. I was too involved in a distorted daydream to recognize whether or not the student was male or female. Laughter sounded from the students, but it was all fuzz to me. I was scared in my spot, helplessly looking at the chuckling students with their looks of pure distaste.