I was choking back the tears. They were coming faster than I wanted them to. He was still going on with words I blocked out. I hung up the phone, and balled. I couldn't even talk to my brother. Then my step dad and sister came back in the car. I tried to holdeverything back as much as I could. I didn't want anybody to see me.
He called me constantly and I never answered it. He texted me several times and I ignored them. I didn't want to have anything to do with him. I felt like I had just been punched in the stomache. What about everything he said? I thought he meant everything. Obviously not. But it was so hard. It hurt so much.
I finally got home, and I had about 4 texts and too many missed calls and voicemails. I also got a text from Jason.
Jason: i was there. he did kiss her, and he is in the wrong for that, but lemme tell you something. jonathan loves you, he really does. i know it may not seem like it right now, but he realizes what he's done and he don't wanna lose you.
I sat there, in my closet. I didn't even move. I balled, and I felt like I couldn't even breathe. What was happening? Nothing made sense anymore.
Why was he doing this? Did he not remember what he said to me? I thought holding hands with her was enought, but why did he have to kiss her?
I didn't want to talk to either one of them. I was still sitting in my closet, staring blankly at the wall. He called me again and this time I answered it but I didn't say anythingfl when I did.
"Tess, please listen to me. I know your upset but please just talk to me." I couldn't help it but the tears came. What wsa I supposed to say? I knew if I talked he would hear me crying and that was the least of what I wanted. But then I just started balling again, right there on the phone. He didn't say anything and then he said quitly, and a little sad to, "i don't want to lose you,"
"I'm sorry," I managed and hung up. I was done. I couldn't be with someone that was doing that to me, it would make me just as low as them.
I got on some shorts and a big t-shirt and made it over to my bed. I turned on our song and then I couldn't bear to listen to it. So, I turned on Taylor Swift's 'Fearless'. She always put me in a better meed. But nothing was working. So, I put on music to match my mood. I made a drastic change to Three Days Grace 'Lost in You'. I listened in silence, and turned my phone off.
"I remember when you said i'm nothing without you," I quietly said those words when they sang them. I quietly cried again. I couldn't help it. I just wanted to go to sleep so I could forget about everything. But I couldn't. It hurt me so much knowing that he did that.
Feeling weak, I reached over and turned my phone back on. As it came on, three texts and one voicemail signaled on the screen.
Jonathan: please baby, talk to me.
Jonathan: i need to talk to you please text me back, talk to me or something. tess, please.
Jason: i know what jonathan did was wrong, and he's torn about it. talk to him atleast, please tess?
I still was weak. I didn't know which pat to go; back to Jonathan where I was happy, or make myself move on without him.
I texted him back and got everything off my chest, I was to upset to call him.
Me: jonathan, i love you i really do. but one of the things that i thought you were different from, i should've believed everyone when they said you were gonna hurt me. but its still hard to turn away from something, especially everything we've been through.
I was calm by now. I felt alot better since I actually said something. I hadn't been talking at all.
Then my phone started vibrating and he was calling me. I answered it, and I was surprised at my tears I was holding back. My voice was a little shakey, but other than that I felt good. It pained me to hear his voice, the one that sang to me, the glorious angel voice. It hurt still.
"Hey," I said real quietly not showing really any emotion.
"Tess, i'm sorry. I don't really know what else to say. Can we please talk this out. I'm trying so hard here and I don't know what else to do. I love you with all my hear and that's not gonna change."
"I love you too," was all I said.
"Were still broke up though aren't we?" I just sat there, pondering that question. I didn't know how to answer it. I didn't want to be without him by no means, but was that the better way to go?
"Just give me time to think," I finally said.
"Alright," he said dissappointed. But what did he expect? He cheated on me, kissed another girl, a girl that wasn;t me, while he was with me, and plus he held hands with another girl? "I love you."
"I love you," I said back, I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it.
"I'll text you in the morning."
"Alright."
"Goodnight."
"Night."
YOU ARE READING
Hanging by a Moment (True Story)
RomanceTess is falling head-over-heels for a boy from her old school, her sister and her jelousely overloaded friend are trying to tear their love apart. She think he's Mr. Right, but will he turn into the guy she thought he would never be, and the rumors...