Spaces between us

Waves

His fingers entwine around mine, never wanting to let me go. If only we didn't have to let go.

The spaces between us hold all our secrets, leaving us speechless. The silence is comforting; content with holding each other and attending to our own thoughts.

Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye?

His ocean eyes reflect the sea in front, wishing the day could last longer.

Baby look what you've done to me?

He's messing with my head, if only he knew what he's done to me.

I don't wanna say goodbye.

If only we could stay a couple more days. It won't be the same when he goes. This world the both of us have been living in will close over, all the secrets and stolen kisses we shared will only become a shadowy memory.

Here we go again.

Another heart break, why do I let my heart fall so easily. It's pathetic really. I'm pathetic.

I close my eyes, wishing that all the stars could aline and a miracle could fall from the heavens above.

And he will stay by my side.

If only he would stay by my side.

Love is always changing. If what we have is even love.
The doubts flood me like a giant suffocating wave.

The sea in front has calmed. No more does it toss and spray salty water onto the sand. Instead small ripples replace the harsh waves.

And his eyes are on me. Distracted by the water I didn't realise he was watching me.

A small smile is etched to his face, I furrow my brows slightly annoyed.

"What's funny?"

He just smiles wider and turns his head back to the beach.

Someday I'm gonna see the things that he sees, and maybe then I will understand him.

But as our time runs out together maybe I won't ever understand what runs through that boys head, maybe that's the way it should be.

A sigh escapes me.

"What's up?" He asks concerned.

My mouth opens but the words are lost, he knows what's up, why is he pretending to ignore it.

Will I have to be the first to say goodbye?
Flares of anger bubble to the surface, he probably doesn't even care; I mean what did I expect really? It was just a bit of fun for him, nothing more.

I drop his hand and stand up onto the sand.

So many questions pound in my head that I have no answers for.

"Come on, tell me what's on your mind, you kinda look as if you might explode." He brushes his fingers along my shoulder, but I shake them off.

"You know what's on my mind and it's not an illusion." I walk to the waters edge, letting the salty flow wash over my feet.

"No you're right, you and I aren't an illusion." He gently takes my hand again. "See baby this is not an illusion."

He smiles mischievously, his eyes lighting up his features.
A idea comes to mind and I smile back, I grip his hands more tightly and before he knows it I push him into the water.
Hysterical laughter erupts, he flounders like a whale in the sea for a moment and then he joins in the laughter. His laugh is contagious and always genuine.

He lunges forward and picks me up, the screams are immediate and salty droplets rain around us as he throws me into the waves.

Both our clothes soaked and sticking to our bodies like skin, his stomach visible from his soaked shirt. My cheeks flush lightly and I run from the water giggling like a giddy teenage girl.

I collapse onto the sand and soon another sodden body joins me.
His sandy blonde hair sticks to his face and his eyes gleam with contentment.

My mother tells me I should act my age, "be a responsible adult" she says. "you're not a child anymore, so stop mucking about with that boy."

Sorry mum.

I won't act my age. I will still feel the same about him.

His face is close to mine, his breaths blowing gently along my skin.

No control.

I lean forward and his lips greet mine.

No one, not even the thought of this ending, could ruin the last moment we were truly at peace with ourselves and the world around us.

It's the truth, I can't explain.