Evening Star: Edward's Story

Chapter Ten: More Visions

She got to her feet, then plumped herself onto the sofa. I remained on my knees, watching her carefully. And then she let her mind run through the visions she had been attempting to hide from me for the past few days, each image striking my heart with fear, joy, terror, as it flashed across her mind and mine....

Bella, lost in the woods at night, calling my name in breathless sobs, something large and dark trailing her every move....

Bella curled up on her bed in her room, her eyes blank and empty, her face catatonic with grief, as Charlie, sitting on the edge of her bed, tried to talk to her, his hand on her shoulder....

Bella sitting in her truck which was stopped in the middle of a residential street in Forks, sobbing, her arms wrapped around her chest, banging her forehead against the steering wheel, her face paler, thinner than it was now, and twisted in unspeakable pain....

Bella preparing to jump from a cliff into the roiling sea below, her face strangely peaceful, a slight smile curving her lips-then she jumped, screaming until she disappeared beneath the crashing waves....

Myself on a street in a strange place-it looked like Rio-my face crumpled in terrifying agony as I threw a cell phone into a trash can, then walked on, my movements automatic, almost those of a sleepwalker....

Myself, writhing in torturous pain on a stone floor in a castle-like turret, unable to scream....

Bella curled in my lap in Charlie's kitchen, her hands on my face as she leaned upward to kiss me gently....

Myself holding Bella close in this very room while we both admired my mother's diamond engagement ring sparkling on Bella's left hand....

Bella, absolutely breathtaking in a white wedding dress, blushing a beautiful, deep rose color as she walked down the stairs of our home on Charlie's arm, garlands of white flowers dripping from every surface of our home as I waited below, at Carlisle's side, my face aglow with joy and triumph....

Bella and I waist-deep in a warm sea, both of our bodies silver in the moonlight as she placed one hand over my heart and whispered, "We belong together...."

Myself sitting on the floor of a bedroom with a large white bed, my eyes glassy with shock and fear while Bella spoke into my cell phone, the sound of waves crashing on a nearby beach....

Bella, bloody and mangled, on her back atop a brightly-lit operating table in Carlisle's library, her face blue and staring as I did CPR, forcing her heart to beat against its will, my face extremely focused in single-minded determination....

Bella's face, now white, pale, cold, eternal-her eyes a bright crimson as she crouched in a corner of Carlisle's library, defensive yet perfect-her face even more lovely than it is now, if such a thing were possible....

The last image faded from Alice's mind, and I looked into her eyes, speechless.

It took her a moment to gather herself together; she loved Bella, too, and these visions, even if they were not going to happen, concerned us both. There was such a mixture of joy and pain in these foreign yet familiar images....

"I should leave," I whispered. "I can't do this to her...any of it...."

"But Edward," Alice protested, "you can't leave. Look at the life ahead of you both: love and marriage and--"

I cut her off. "And look at all of the other, horrible things-like Bella suffering ... jumping off a cliff ... dying ... becoming a vampire.... I can't do that to her, Alice. I love her too much to allow her to suffer this way for me. I'm not worth it. And it's not ... right." My voice trailed off, my face twisting with indecision.

"Edward, you always dwell on the negative!" Alice chided.

"And you gloss over all that can go wrong, just for the sake of a wedding to plan!" I retorted.

"You know it's far more than that! I want you and Bella to be happy together. I want her to be my sister. I want her to be HERE-you both to be here. And if you leave, you will tear her heart to shreds ... you will leave her bleeding in a far worse way than James did." Alice's voice rose in anger. I glared back at her.

The door of my room slammed open, and Jasper stood there, very aware of the anger we both felt. He had come to rescue Alice, of course.

"Overprotective fool," Alice whispered under her breath.

Without a word, Jasper extended his hand toward Alice, and taking it, she rose gracefully from the sofa and accompanied him out the door, leaving me to stew in these visions now indelibly seared into my memory.

What was I to do? The answer to that dilemma became more complex with each passing day.