Chapter 45

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I've learned a lot of things in this life; how to ride a bike, how to do my times tables, and over all, how to love. Not just love your parents, because that sort of love occurs ever since you were a newborn. But falling head of heels in love with somebody new is different. I've never ever been in love like I am now; I've never taken the risks I've accomplished, or made so many mistakes towards the people I love. I've never hurt anybody like I have now; and scared to come back and face the problem. But making mistakes is all a part of growing up, and as much as I've done, I still had a lot of growing up to do.

Someone once said that love is like being on a boat in the middle of a thunder storm. It rocks you back and forth, throwing you this way and that and you fear to fall overboard. Overboard meaning that the love you found is fragile, and it could break at any moment. The love I've found tossed and tumbled me this way and that; and I learned how hard it is the keep something like love alive, especially when it's kept a secret. And that's why I have to come home now, making up for the mistakes I've made and apologizing to the people I love.

My mom hadn't replied to the email I had sent her, I was worried that when she saw it appear in her box that she had deleted it without even looking at it. But I knew she would never do that; no matter how mad and betrayed she felt, she would want to hear from me. She would want my side of the story.

The elevator ride to the apartment seemed to drag on and on, I felt like I was being taken to my execution. I had no idea what they were going to say, whether they'd be angry, happy, sad, what questions would they have for me? One of the scariest thoughts is knowing that you love your family, but your family may not love you back.

When the doors finally opened, everything was quiet. The TV was off, windows closed, fans disabled, I could barely even realize that the elevator bell went off. Something was off. As I walked deeper into the apartment, there was the slight sound of typing coming from the kitchen. My mother sat at the table with her laptop, her email open and she was reading through an message. My message.

The words passes through her lips as she read them to herself over and over, stopping at the particularily sensitive areas. She didn't even realize that I wasn right behind her. By the end of the letter, she sat back and sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "God, I'm sorry too Dani," she muttered.

I bit my lip to stop it from quivering as I ran over and hugged her from behind. She yelped, then turned around and met my eyes. She stood up and wrapped me in her arms, just like when I was a little girl.

"I'm sorry mom," I cried, tears threatening to pour over.

"I'm sorry too, I missed you so much," By the time our courtship had ended, we sat at the table with two glasses of milk and a plate of toll house cookies.

"So, how's your father?" she asked.

"He misses us, but he's glad that you're moving on." I told her.

"Any girls at the house?" she asked.

"No, none that I could find. Trust me, I checked under the bed too." I replied. She chuckled, sipping her milk and brushing some loose hair behind her ear.

"I guess I had my eyes shut pretty tight to not realize how much you had grown up, I should've trusted you and Zac." she said.

"That was partly my fault...mostly in fact." I said.

"No, I shouldn't have reacted the way I had. I shouldn't have hit you, what kind of mother hits her own child out of spite?" she asked.

"You'd  be surprised, but I'm glad that you're not one of those mothers." I replied.

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