CHAPTER 2 [Gertrude Watches Gossip Girl Part I]

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" Oh wow, I should really learn how to knock. Just in case there's a threesome going on. In the bathroom."

-Seth Cohen (The O.C. 1X1)

"Coop. Cooper. Coop!" the short redhead calls through the Vista Creek High halls. She pulls her cheer bow tighter making her pony rise to an incredibly high stance on her head.

Cooper snickers to his friend G. G is the school's star quarterback. His parents thought he was going to be a girl so his first name is Gertrude. He goes by G and if anyone asks what it's short for he lies and says something like Garrett, Gavin, or Gerard. Other than his parents the only ones who know about Gertrude are his best friends Blaine and Cooper. They found out a long time ago. They used it as blackmail for a long time too, but now it's like Gertrude doesn't even exist.

"There you are Coop!" she exclaims. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Including the library." Library comes out as if it were sin for a cheerleader to go into the library to look for the boy she's obsessed with.

"Sarah I'll tell you again. You're a junior and I'm a senior. I was drunk and horny. End of story." Cooper explains.

Sarah looks like she might cry. "I thought we were in love. I gave you my virginity!"

Cooper shrugs his shoulders and G tries to contain himself from cracking up. "You know who I am right? I'm Cooper Malone."

"You sound like a fucking Chuck Bass." she whines.

"A who?" Cooper asks.

"Dude you've never watched Gossip Girl?" G says.

"Fuck Ger... I mean Garth, that's a chick show. Why would I watch that? Better yet why are you watching it?"

"Dude Blake Lively is sexy. No wait she is sex. I'd honestly do anything for her and to her if she wanted me to."

"You guys are so... nasty. Get over yourselves! You can't just go around and ugh! Have sex with as many girls as you want and not have feelings for any of them. Sex is a sacred act of love and passion. Don't abuse it!"

"Calm down Mormon. Don't get your panties in a bunch. Oh wait, I already did that for you." Cooper jokes.

Sarah slaps his arm. "Yow." he winces slightly at the sting.

"I hope both of you just move away for good. I never want to see you again!" She yells before storming off.

"Back at-ch-ya!" Cooper and G call to her in unison.

"Come on G let's go and see why Blaine wanted us to meet him in the natatorium."

Cooper and G make their way to the school's natatorium. The swim team only used the pool in the mornings before school and afternoons after school. The dive team too. And gym classes didn't use it until April. The room is only lighted by the skylights and large windows. Other than that it is empty, semi-dark, and eerie.

"Blaine!" G yells.

"You think he's actually here or is he just fucking with us to pull a prank or something?" Cooper asks, turning to G.

"Nah, remember he's above pranking as he put it."

"That is true, but no guy can actually be above pranking. It's just against the nature of a man."

"Coop, that's where you're correct for once!" A familiar voice calls from behind the boys.

G feels a shove and a couple seconds later he's in the pool. He swims up and puts on a pouty look. "Blaine you're such a douche."

Cooper continues to laugh his ass off and Blaine stands there smirking. He shoves Cooper, but Cooper grabs his arm and then the two boys join a contagiously grinning G who is already in his boxers. Cooper and Blaine come up, they pull their shirts over their heads and pull of their shorts to where they're just in their boxers, briefs in Blaine's case, like their friend. Cooper splashes G. G splashes him back, but splashes Blaine in the process who splashes both of them. The three boys break out into a splashing war.

"Men! What the hell is going on here? Get out now!" a thick voice commands. The three stop splashing and look up at the edge of the pool. Mr. Yam the Freshman and Sophomore swim coach stands with a face that's pissed off red. His blue warm up jacket has got water all over the front of it.

"Sir yes sir!" G jokes as the three of them do the salute hand signal.

The three pull themselves out of the pool and grab their clothes.

"One week's detention for all three of you!" Mr. Yam punishes them. "And go to the locker room and get yourselves changed into some dry clothes."

"Mr. Yam. None of us are on the swim team or dive team, so we'd have to go to the other side of the school to get to our gym lockers." Blaine asks.

"And your concern is?" he asks.

"You want us to walk through the school in just our wet underwear?"

"Consequences boys. Consequences." Mr. Yam jokes.

"I don't think it's really that much of a consequence." Cooper says.

"That's because pretty much every girl has seen you naked." G comments.

"The bell rings in five minutes. You boys better get going." Mr. Yam informs them.

The three of them pick up their wet clothes and they set out on their long walk to the other end of the school.

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