'Her name was Blake' thats what i told them. 'It was on her bracelet and her phone was gone.' Everything i told them was a lie, i promised her, i promised Blake to not tell anybody. And they probably wouldn't believe me. We walked together, but i was there and she wasn't . She told me everything, and nothing more.
"MOM, have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere?' I screamed as loud as I could. 'No I didn't see it.' she said. I was panicking. Everthing was on there, even a picture of my sister who died 2 years ago. I still miss her everyday, but it gets fine. She was someone who I could talk to when i felt bad. And believe me, I always feel bad. I am having not the best relationship with my mom. I feel like im only living in this house because, i have to. I eat here, I sleep here.
Sometimes when I feel alone, im going for a walk. Al I do is thinking and thinking, and probably overthinking. Sometimes i imagine my sister walking next to me. We talk about things and sometimes we stop. And she tells me everything about how she kills herself. I know it sounds weird, but i think that i am the only one who knows how she killed herself. I feel like I can talk to her, but she's dead. People around school think im weird. So i won't tell them about how I see my sister.
There's my phone, of course it lays next to my sisters bed. Sometimes i sleep in there, then I feel more connected to my sister and she's always in my dreams when i sleep in her bed. Once she told me how she wanted to make a roadtrip and where it would be. But after my father died, all she could think about is be with him. We had a really good relationship with our father. We always went to the forest and walked, walked walked. We loved walking but my mother always stayed home. I really don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with her past. But she never told us.
It was a long period, my sister didn't go to school or out with friends. The whole day she was on her room. She only came out if she had to pee. Sometimes she hadn't eat in three days. Then i came and give her some food. She hadn't talked a word in two months. Not one single word. She died inside. And i think thats the reason why she killed herself. Because she wanted to be with my father, our father.
