Am I..? (Hetalia UsUk) Depressed! America and same old stingy Britain

Chapter Two- Nobody Would Care Anyway

I've been feeling sad recently so here's a song to make you sad too :)

Alfreds POV
After Britain left my happiness soon faded. I need to loose weight. I go to the kitchen and clean out my cabinets of all my junk food leaving a few loaves of bread, some vegetables in the fridge, a few fruits and a spoiled container of orange juice. I throw away the orange juice and take an apple. I look at the round, ruby colored fruit. The others words swirl in my head. I put the apple down and decide to go to the gym. I grab a spare change of clothes and get in my car.

***TIMESKIP BY MY ANGSTY SELF***

As I got out of the car I saw Germany. What is he doing up so late? It's 8:15pm shouldn't he be with Italy? He notices me and calls me over. His face quickly changes into a softer, worried expression. Crap. I walk over and put on my movie star smile. "Hey dude! What are you doing here so late?" I say. "I should ask jou zhe same zhing America." He says looking at me. "Are jou ok? After vhat happened in zhe meeting today I vas vorried." His expression is genuine and I feel bad for lying. "Oh yeah. Nah I'm good bro! I'm the hero after all!" I say smiling once again. He looks at me and nods, as he walks toward his car. I enter the gym and furiously work out. My main motivation being what the other nations had and have been saying about me. The harder I worked out, the emptier my stomach felt. After around two hours I head toward the showers. After I get out I measure myself. 153.6 lbs. I smile widely looking at the scale. I lost some weight. I go home and eat the apple I had put back earlier but as I do, I hear a voice talking. You're going to get fatter. A voice says. "H-Huh? What!?" I look around but nobody is there. You heard me. You're a disgrace. You disgust everyone you tub of lard. Tears fall down my cheeks. All the things I hear are true. What was I thinking when I thought I was skinny? I start hyperventilating but I'm able to calm myself down. The voice was right, I am a disgrace. A disappointment. I walk into my bathroom. I heard about people doing this but I never thought it would be me. My hands begin to shake as I pull out the small pocket knife. I flip open the blade and press the cold metal to my skin. I wince in pain and immediately retract my hand as a crimson substance rolls down my arm. But.. it helps. I press the blade to my wrist a few more times and wash it off. This causes more pain then it is worth. But you should die anyway. I ignore the voice in my head as I go to get bandages. I don't want these to get infected. I wrap the bandages around my wrists thinking about what I had just done. Nobody would care anyway..

Arthur's POV
When I get home it's around 7:45pm. I'm still wearing Alfreds jacket. I'll have to return it soon but for now I will continue to wear it. I turn on my Television and scroll through the many channels until I find the news. "Recent Surveys in The Us have shown rising levels of depression and eating disorders. If you have these
Kind of tho-" I turn off the television watching as the reporter fades away. Depression? Eating Disorders? I grab my phone and go to text Alfred
.
Arthur: hey alfred are you ok?
Alfred: yeah dude 😁 im at the gym rn why?
Arthur: just wanted to check in.
Alfred: oh ok 👌

I shut off my phone and think. I never knew Alfred went to the gym. "I wonder if he has a six pack.." I start to feel my Thoughts wander a bit to far and feel my face flush. Stupid American, making me blush. I sigh and look at the time its now 8:17pm. I charge my phone and go to bed, still wearing Alfreds jacket.

When I wake up my hair is a mess and the jacket is slumped off to one shoulder. I stand up and go brush my hair and change into some lean clothes. "I need to return his jacket.." I say to myself. I put the jacket on and grab my phone, house keys and some toast and marmite. Don't judge me ok? I get into my car and drive down the road towards Alfreds house.

***smol timeskip by SuFin***

I pull into Alfreds driveway and park my car. I walk up to the front porch and ring the doorbell and hear heavy thumping before a flustered Alfred opens the door. "Oh hi Britain dude! I was hoping it was you!" He says and I feel my face growing warm. "Oh you're wearing my jacket." He says laughing after his OBNOXIOUSLY obvious sentence. "Yes you git I am now let me in." I say impatiently. "Fine, Fine"
He opens the door and I step inside and look around. Sure, I was just here yesterday but I was tired. I sit down on the couch and Alfred does the same. I think for a small bit before remembering the news. My expression visibly drops and I turn to Alfred. He seems to notice the change in my mood and immediately turns to me. "Alfred, on the news today I saw a report that cases of eating disorders and depression are quickly rising in our country. I'm worried are you ok?"

Alfreds POV
"I'm worried, are you ok?" Britain says. My face drops and Britain seems to notice but I change it in a second. "Yeah dude I'm fine!" I say. "Alfred, stop lying to me." I stop and my breath hitches in my throat. "W-What I'm not lying Britain seriously I'm fine!" I say my voice shaking. Oh dear. Oh god he knows. He's gonna find out. He will tell everyone of what a disappointment you are. Britain doesn't seem convinced. "Alfred I know you're lying, just talk to me!" He says raising his voice. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I say in a monotone voice. He looks at me before standing up, setting my jacket on the table, and leaving. Look what you've done, somebody tries to help you and you make them leave. What a disappointment. I watch as he walks out the door. I grab the jacket and put it on and it faintly smells like Arthur. Tears come to my eyes and I walk to the bathroom. I take out The blade and unwrap my bandages. The blood soaked through and they were light red. I switch open the blade and press it on my skin.
Disappointment one cut.
Worthless two cuts.
Fat three.
I put the blade away, and rewrap my bandages. I go to sleep, dreaming of Britain.
Just by living I'm hurting you another day.

This one took a while but I feel it turned out pretty well. Sorry if it's dark, I personally don't cut, I vent in other, healthier ways. If you are feeling as though you need help please contact somebody. Singing out
CråbCakês 🦀