I hurry into the back seat of the car, letting the driver load my things. I wanted Lindsey to kiss me. I practically begged him to kiss me. Why did I completely freak out when he did? It isn't like we haven't kissed thousands of times. I try to put it out of my head.
"Could I use your phone for a minute?" The driver looks at me, somewhat surprised.
"Is yours dead? I have a charger available."
"No, I don't have one. I just need to make a quick call." Explaining my lack of cell phone is annoying. He hands it to me without any further questions and I dial Karen's number quickly.
"This is Karen."
"Hi, Karen."
"God damn it, Stevie. We've been going crazy for two days. You can't just leave. It's pretty conspicuous when someone like you disappears. I've been covering your ass nonstop."
"Are you done?"
"Shit. Don't do this to me. Yes. I'm done."
"Can you pick me up at LAX at 11?"
"LAX? Where the hell are you?"
"On my way to LAX."
I can actually hear her rolling her eyes at me through the phone. "Fine. Be a pain in the ass. I'll be there."
"Thank you."
It feels strange flying alone. I'm not sure I really like it. Something about the past few days has made me feel incredibly vulnerable. My head is still spinning. Why was it so hard to leave San Jose tonight? I know the answer. I'm not ready to admit it yet. Not even to myself.
True to her word, Karen is there when I land. Security escorts us to her car and she looks at me after we are inside. I know she's about to grill me.
"I went to see Lindsey in San Jose," I say before she can ask any more questions. "He's doing fine and he's coming to visit for Christmas with the kids and that's all there really is to say about it."
"That's a lie. If you are shutting down the conversation this quickly then there's a story there."
"Maybe. But you're not going to find out yet. Let's just go home, okay?"
She shakes her head at me and turns on the radio.
*****
The next morning, I wake up to a completely silent house. It feels strange somehow. I put on clothes and brush my hair and busy myself for a little while, not really sure what I should be doing. I'm not used to things being so quiet around here.
I finally check my messages and find one from my mother. She's working hard planning Christmas meals and has an insane amount of questions. She loves hosting, but seriously, she's in her 80's. I don't have the heart to tell her to stop, though. I dial her number and smile, knowing that this is what gets her through holidays since dad died.
"Hi, mom."
"Tee-dee bird. How are you, sweetheart?"
"I'm doing well. I just got your message about dinner. I think we're going to have some extra people."
"Well, I've got you and Lori and Chris and Jessi and seven or eight of your friends, and me. Who else do we have coming, dear?"
"Lindsey and the kids are joining us."
"All five Buckinghams?"
"Just four. He's a single dad now."
"Did something happen to Kristen?"
