I have been staring at the ceiling all night, only pretending to sleep when Peeta wakes up.
It only now occurs to me that I haven't had a wink of sleep all night and now the morning sun is beaming through the window.
Today they are announcing the Quarter Quell. I keep imagining different ways the Captiol is going to torture this years round of innocent children. I didn't realize, I have quite the imagination.
"Hey." Peeta whispers. I turn to face him and worry takes over his face. "Are you okay? You haven't slept at all have you?"
There's no point in lying to him, he knows me too well. I shake my head. "I'm scared." I barely get out.
He nods his head and takes me into his arms, "I know. Me too."
We stay silent for a while. "We should get ready, the announcements at one o'clock."
Peeta holds me close as we wait for Caesar Flickerman to announce the Third Quarter Quell. I'm shaking like a leaf and being pregnant isn't helping because my hormones are all over the place. Peeta has been trying to calm me down, and it's worked, but not completely.
The 'Capitol TV' logo appears on the screen and I tense, Peeta notices and rubs his hand up and down my side, and starts whispering soothing words into my ear while his lips brush across my skin.
Caesar Flickerman appears and introduces President Snow, who is standing in front of a crowd of Capitol people. I can't shake the snake like eyes and blood breath from my mind.
A young boy around the age of ten steps up onto the podium and hands the President a yellow envelope.
He opens the envelope and starts to speak and I feel physically sick. "As a reminder, that not even the strongest can overcome the power of the Capitol. The tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."
Shouting, screaming. It's all I can hear. The screams rack my brain and I begin screaming myself. I feel useless. Where am I? Katniss, where are you? I demand an answer from myself but I can't think, I can't do anything. Running, screaming, shouting, crying.
My eyes shoot open and my clothes are soaked through from sweat. I look around me and I'm on our bed. Peeta. I get up and start running around the house shouting "Peeta? Peeta!"
When I have checked every room, I do the only thing I can think of and run to Haymitch's.
As I pull open our front door, I run into Peeta.
Relief floods his face and he breathes, "Katniss."
"W-what happened?" I stutter.
"You passed out right after the announcement, you scared me to death, Katniss."
The memories from earlier flood my mind. 'The tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors.' I have had enough of being strong and I fall into Peeta's arms and sob.
He picks me up, shuts the front door and brings me over to the couch and cradles me in his arms. Peeta starts crying soon after and we sit there for a while holding each other.
"What are we going to do?" I ask Peeta, because I honestly have no idea.
"I don't know. But I promise I will get us out of this, all three of us." I shiver when he says, 'All three of us' because it only occurs now to me that I am not only going back into the games, I am going back into the games pregnant.
"They are going to find out about our baby. They can't, Peeta. They can't."
He doesn't say anything, just holds me tighter. He knows that the Capitol will find out about our baby and although he wants to, there is nothing he can do about it.
We lay in bed, holding each other close, not speaking. Neither of us can sleep, it seems almost impossible.
When I finally hear Peeta's heavy breathing, indicating he is asleep, I glance at the clock and it reads 2.20am. I know sleep will never come tonight so I decide to visit Haymitch, he doesn't sleep when it's dark.
I get out of the bed and Peeta moves a little but doesn't wake up. I leave our house and walk straight into Haymitch's house as the door is always open. I find him in his kitchen, with a half empty bottle of liquor in his hand.
"Sweetheart, what a surprise." He says with a tad of sarcasm. At least he isn't totally drunk.
"Peeta has to survive." I tell him straight. I walk over and take a seat opposite him.
"What do you want me to do?" He says.
"Help me." He doesn't say anything. "Haymitch please. He doesn't deserve this, he deserves a chance at life. Even if it isn't with me or this baby."
He thinks for a while then says, "Alright. If Peeta gets reaped, I will volunteer. But if my name is reaped and Peeta volunteers there is nothing I can do." He agrees.
"Thank you, Haymitch." I say, and stand up to leave before I burst into tears.
When I get back to bed, thankfully Peeta hasn't woken up. I lay down next to him and he moves to wrap his arms around me. I lay awake for a while just rubbing my hand on my slightly swollen abdomen. I can't help but think that this baby will never be born, never see this world. I try to convince myself that it is for the best, that it would just be thrown into the arena, but I can't think like that.
I lean down and whisper into my tummy, "I'm so sorry. Mummy and Daddy love you so much."
Sorry for not updating for a while, I will try my best. Enjoy! Thanks for reading, commenting and voting!
Twitter - @peetasbread7
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