"CUTE-The mysterious word"

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The last time I googled the word cute, the definition read as follows-"attractive in a pretty or endearing way". This word has always been confusing to me every since it has been used on me. I have been a chubby girl since my school days with fat pouring out of all my body parts, you could find me in physical training lectures panting and sweating my heart out. All these years of experience of being the overweight kid I learned a lot about the rigid beauty structure of the society, the social acceptability towards someone who is "healthy" and also about the various taunts and not so asked weight loss home remedies of the great Indian aunties. I have experienced that whenever I dress up for a function or so the only compliment I used to get is,"ohhh....you look so cute!!!" and my very slim, fit and genetically blessed friends and cousin get compliments like-"oh boy.....you look so beautiful/hot/sexy/pretty". Listen I am not the whiner here but please see the difference why can't I be sexy/hot/beautiful, and why I have been sidetracked by people telling me I am cute and then dropping a weight loss remedy at the end of the compliment.... Like why?????? I know you might be thinking-" idiot its because you are fat!!!!!", if this is what your thinking don't worry I am thinking that too and congratulation because we all have been brainwashed to think like that...the whole point of this conversation is that from years we have been hammered into a rigid beauty system and as result of which many girls experience body insecurity including me. It becomes hard to appreciate what you posses naturally and we keep worrying about getting into a shape of a shampoo selling supermodel who probably got into that shape because it is her job to be in shape. Now hold on I am not saying that being healthy is obnoxious. I too want to be healthy enough to climb stairs without meeting the death angel up close, but it doesn't mean that we need to be worrying about our bodies all the time....so to the beautiful girls and guys out there, remember you wont be happy by losing those extra kilos if you are not happy with you own self right now, happiness Is not the next thing but it is the bliss which needs to be experienced in this very moment.. so, love yourself and give yourself a hug every day.

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