Chapter Seventeen

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I woke up an hour before my alarm on Monday morning, and for once I couldn't get back to sleep. I usually loved waking up early because it meant I could gleefully go back to sleep until my alarm rang, but the second my eyes opened on their own, I knew there was no going back.

I was going to see Noah in a matter of hours.

Sunday had passed in a blurr of happiness. I went to a farmer's market and antiques sale with Mom and soaked up some rays on a deck chair in our yard with a worn paperback. Everything I did, I couldn't help pretending he was there, too. What book would he read, out on the deck? I wondered if he would fall asleep lying in the sun, like I always did.

Now it was another gray weekday morning, and the happy anticipation had turned into nervousness. Friday night was good—so unbelievably good—but would it translate on Monday morning? It was easy to let our guard down and spend hours kissing on a Friday night. On Monday morning, would we be stiff and awkward and mortified at what our Friday selves had done?

I didn't know. As I showered and got dressed, I was pretty sure Monday Riley was just as raring to go as Friday Riley. But who knew?

I arrived at school almost an hour before the first bell rang. A few teachers idly chatted outside the office, and loud clanking from the kitchens echoed through the empty halls. I headed for the A/V studio—there was always something for me to tinker with there, but what I really wanted was to plug my recording of Noah's heartbeat into the big speakers and sink into it.

I opened the studio door and almost had a heart attack at the sight of someone on the computer in the corner.

"Holy shit, Josiah," I gasped. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," he said with a wince. "I didn't know you were coming in early."

"Couldn't sleep. Um, what are you doing?"

"Finishing the edits on the new episode of Lovers in a Dangerous Crime." He took off his headphones. "Did you have a good weekend?"

I sat down at the second computer and shook the mouse to wake it up. My weekend flashed before my eyes: Noah, farmer's market, Dad, Noah's name on Temptr, Mom ooh-ing and ahh-ing over a chaise lounge, Noah, Noah, Noah.

"Yeah, it was great."

"How was Noah Lord's party?"

The whole story crowded up in my chest, threatening to burst forth. It would feel amazing to tell someone.

I said slowly, "Um... it was good, yeah."

Josiah nodded and went back to his work, pulling his oversize headphones back over his ears.

I could have done the same—stuffed my earbuds in and sunk into the lull of Noah's hammering heartbeat. But the hair stood up on the back of my neck. I felt fully reckless.

"Hey, Josiah?"

He twisted back around. "Yeah?"

"How long have we known each other?"

"Uh, I don't know. Four years?"

"Would you say we're friends?"

Josiah shrugged. "I don't know. Would you say we are?"

"No," I said. "But maybe we should be. What do you think?"

Josiah didn't look offended that I had said we weren't friends. He nodded, like he agreed. "Sure, why not?"

"Okay. Good." I paused. "So, buddy old pal, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I broke up with Chloe on Friday."

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