The Three of Us

193. A Rough Road

"And what did you get for your birthday?" Mrs. Andrews was asking in a sweet voice. When she looked up, there was Anne.

The two stared at each other.

"Walter, go back to Grandma," Anne said tightly.

"But I wanna stay with Aunt Jane's mama," Walter protested.

"I said go to Grandma," Anne said, her voice harsh. Walter, surprised by her tone, got upset. His face crinkled up. Anne did not notice or care. "Now!" she practically yelled.

Walter's cheeks were wet. What stung him even more than his mama yelling was that he finally- finally- had Aunt Jane's mama, who he liked. He saw her every week at church, but he was never allowed to go to her, and mama was so mean to make him leave her when he'd only just started. He began to whine loudly: "You neverrr let me see Aunt Jane's mamaaaa!"

A few people glanced over at them, and then- making everything worse, Walter grabbed hold of Mrs. Andrews and would not be moved.

Anne grabbed his arm to yank him away and he clung harder.

Mrs. Andrews was upset, too. "Go on now, listen to your mama," she murmured. But it was plain to see she wanted to cling to him just as much as he was to her.

Anne finally dragged him away, back to her own family.

People were staring, and after a moment she heard hushed whispers all around her. She was sure that people were talking about the unmentionable relationship between the two families, and her face burned with embarrassment.

"I want to go home," she said to Marilla, near tears.

Marilla and Matthew had not seen what had happened. But Anne said, her tone fragile, told them that Walter had somehow made his way over to Mrs. Andrews. "She probably lured him over there," she finished bitterly.

Matthew hugged Anne to his side, but even that did not help. "I'm going home," she said, weepy.

"Anne, you can't," Marilla said. "You've got your class to teach."

"Tell them I'm sick," she answered. "Tell them I died. I'm not staying!" But as she got up to go, she saw Gilbert coming into the church.

The moment he saw her, he knew something was wrong. "What is it?" he asked, reaching for her hand.

"Everything's awful and I want to go home," she said with a shuddery breath.

Walter was crying.

Gilbert picked Walter up as the introit began. Walter calmed down the moment he had his Gilbert, but Anne could not calm down. Even as her tears left her, her anger remained.

Gilbert held her hand as the choir began singing. He had no idea what had happened.

When it was time for the children to leave, Anne dropped Walter off with the woman who would teach his class, and then took her own little pupils to her classroom. Her lesson, planned with such optimism, was now hard to get through.

After church, Gilbert came home with them. He was quickly filled in on the events and sat stroking Anne's hand as she talked.

When she had finished, Gilbert took a breath. "You know, Anne, I wanted us to stay in Avonlea so Walter wouldn't have to be separated from his grandparents. My parents are gone, and yours are all he has, and that's...that's important, and I didn't want to take that away from him. But I'm wondering if we should move."

"We are moving. When you have medical school," Anne reminded him.

"But I mean before that. And...permanently."

Anne just stared at him.

He continued: "If we aren't in the same town with the Andrews, this kind of thing won't keep happening. ...I don't see it getting better, Anne, in fact I think it's only going to get worse."

"But I don't want to move," Anne said weepily. "I've never been gone from Matthew and Marilla. I didn't go to Queens, I never had to get used to being apart from them! I'd...I'd miss them."

"I know, but...it might be the best thing for you," Gilbert said, rubbing her back. "The stress must feel overwhelming- seeing the Andrews constantly? Never mind church, you still see them in town." He held her close. "And there's no reason you should have to go through that, love. If we lived somewhere else, you could breathe easier."

"But I don't want to move," she repeated.

"All right," he conceded. He had another idea. "Maybe just church...we don't have to go to church here."

"Where would we go?" Anne asked, wiping her eyes.

"Carmody," he suggested.

"That's too far away. ...Everywhere is too far away."

"No, it's not. You know people walk to Carmody. We'd take the horse and buggy, though. It wouldn't be out of the way."

Anne bit her lip. "I'd have to give up teaching my Sunday School class," she said. "And I like teaching it."

"Maybe you could teach in the other chur..." Gilbert trailed off, seeing Anne's expression. It wasn't likely and they both knew it. Avonlea's new reverend was young and progressive. He had defended Anne against people who thought an unwed mother wasn't a suitable teacher. It was almost unheard of; how likely was it that she would find another reverend with similar views?

Once that occurred to him, it also occurred to him that switching churches might present another problem. Avonlea knew Anne's story. It was no secret that Billy had attacked Anne. Not only had he admitted it, but the "settlement" the Andrews had offered the Cuthberts was public knowledge too. His parents had sent him to live with an aunt and uncle in Nova Scotia because they realized he was unlikely to find any courtship prospects if he stayed in Avonlea where every girls' parents knew of his misdeed. While some of the townsfolk wondered if Anne had done something to make herself a temptation to Billy, most people in town just felt sorry for her. If Gilbert and Anne began church in another town where no one knew her, Anne would be starting all over. Maybe after we're married, he thought. Once we're married, we could go to another town and nobody would have to know she'd ever been an unwed mother...

Anne was still talking: "If we ever moved away from Avonlea- permanently- you'd have to sell your farm...and buy a new house somewhere else...I like your house. It's where you grew up. And it's where I got to spend time with your father. I don't want to lose it."

"I don't either," he said. "But I want to do whatever's going to be the best thing for you...you're more important than the house."

"But I don't want to move," she insisted. "And I like the reverend we have now...I never liked the old one."

"I like him too," Gilbert agreed. "But darling, if we don't leave Avonlea, and we don't leave the church, then we've got a problem."