Hi,
Wow, where do I start? The beginning I guess. We met each other online and I swear it was faith. I instantly felt a conncetion with you. It was... love at first swipe? You were smart, funny, and entertaining. You told all the right lies to get me interested in you.
Truth be told, all of it started with a lie. Remember when I told you not to post the picture of your expensive car on the app so that you don't attract gold diggers and you took the picture down? You were so impressed with me because I choose to talk to you even though you didn't have that picture up and I acted all innocent and nice. Well, it was a lie, you probably didn't realize it but at the time thatI swiped you I was interested in the car. I love cars. Sorry not sorry. Since you're so smart you probbaly realized that, but for some reason you played along with my innocent act.
I was so irritated by the fact that you kept on laying out the benefits of dating you. You said you took your ex to thirteen different countries in six months. Well why did she dump you then?I wonder. I don't need a man to be able to travel, I can easily help myself in that aspect but I kept talking to you because I wanted to know what else you had to offer, other than money. You were very attentive to what I had to say. Kind, caring , and very charming to say the least. It was attractive when you knew when to prioritize work and how you had good work ethics.
I hesitated to give you my contact because you had one red flag on you: you dwell too much on sexual topics. I felt like a hooker talking to you. You knew I felt uncomfortable talking about these things, but you still said what you wanted to. But I wanted to take a chance because I had hope that it would be different this time. I wished it was.
So I gave you my contact, and we started texting each other, a lot. I got to know a little more about you. I was slowing catching feelings for you, but still sometimes you make me uncomfotable and I was willing to withstand that because I wanted it to work out. You texted me goodmorning and goodnight everyday and it felt great. You also made a deal with me to send each other a selfie everyday, a deal you didn't honor after a week.
There was a time when you suddenly posted the picture of that car again on the app even though we were almost a thing already. I confronted you about it and you said "I wanted to know if you were still checking in on me" I told you so many times I get a notification from the app, if my match adds a picture. You statred apologizing and saying that you forgot. You also stated that sometimes you go on the app to look at my picture. But hey I told you a while those are my friend's pistures not mine. You should've been a better liar. Being the stupid girl I was I ignored this red flag and comtinued to establish a relationship with you.
I told my friends about you. All of them hated you, they couldn't wait for me to dump your ass but I ignored their warnings until valentine. I had enough of you and I texted you to break things off. You were so calm about it, I felt like you didn't care. It made me crazy. I wanted you to care. I wanted you to fight me and try to keep me. Unfortunately, you didn't and I spent the whole night regretting my decision. So at 2:30am in the morning I sent you a text saying "I miss you" and unsent the message after.
When you woke up you saw the unsent notification and asked me what did I want to say. And one thing led to the other and suddenly we had a date in the evening of the same day. I was so excited to finally meet you in person.
The date went really well, we had dinner, watched a movie and then you drove me home. It was perfect. You were so awkward around me, it was so entertaining. I had to ask you for a hug in front of my house and it felt wonderful hugging someone you liked. As I pulled away from your arms, you gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and I swear the night couldn't have ended any better.
You texted me when you got home, asking me how the date was and well how you were in person. I said "you were perfect. kind, caring, a true gentleman" and then I asked you if we were dating and you said yes and I agreed. So at midnight I finally had my first boyfriend.
You had plans to go skiiing with your friends the next day, and I spent the whole day missing you. But we had plans the following Monday to study together and I was looking forward to that. Unfortunately your friend got a deadly allergic reaction and you had to take care of him. You called a family doctor for him but you still had to take him to the hospital on Tuesday morning. If your friend was in such a critical condition why wait for one whole day to get him to the hospital. Was it even true? I'll never know.
Then we had an argument I wasn't ready for any sexual activity with you, even though you kept on mentioning it. I ended up getting really upset and you still were so nice to me. You wanted us to communicate and work things out but every time I tell you anything that you didn't like you seem to ignore it. So i didn't want to communicate with you any longer. I was getting tired.
Then you told me that you had exams for the week, then you need to go to London for five more days to handle an emergency. So the entire week I barely heard from you. You didn't even text me back when you had time because you snapped me. I knew I wasn't important to you any longer and I wondered if it was because I didn't give you what you wanted. You called me on Wednesday night asking solely if I was willing to meet you up to fuck you and you had no idea how much that hurt me. I felt like a prostitute who is getting called to schedule a date for her client.
On Thursday I texted you good morning and safe flight but I got no reply, not even a thank you. I was so sad that you never bothered to text me back. I had enough. So I texted you asking to break up to which you replied to three hours later before you boarded your flight to London in the evening. You seriously didn't give a shit. You said in the text you wanted us to work out and that you still liked me. Well I guess you didn't care but you also didn't want to lose me.
I texted you two days after asking how your emergency went and you said everything's going alright. You also mentioned about me saying that we should stay friends. I said yes we should stay friends, but if you want to cut me off I'll respect that. I never got a reply from you and it was clear you wanted nothing to do with me.
I wonder if your feelings for me were true or you just wanted somebody to fuck. Doesn't matter anymore, we're over but I catch myself dreaming of what we could've been and it makes me sad. I wish you all the best and you'll forever be my first boyfriend, even though we only technically dated for a week or so.
Love,
J
