tears will fall

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fairly short but heart warming<3

Tears will fall

I put on the black shoes, stood in front of my mirror, and stared with a blank expression. I look in the mirror every morning, but this time it was harder. I straightened my back as tears rolled down my cheeks. But I had to go; I couldn't stay up here any longer. I walked down the flight of stairs, and all I saw were eyes staring in my direction, but not directly at me. I could feel sadness in the room, and that was to be expected. This sadness was greater then the kind felt in these past months, but sadness none the less.

Two months earlier  

I was awakened to a horrible coughing noise just outside my bedroom door. It briefly stopped, but then started with as much intensity as before. I got up and looked outside, only to see my mother clenching the railing and coughing.  

I walked towards her and said "Are you ok Mom?"  

"Yes Bethany, I'm ok. I just have a tickle in my throat," She said between coughs.  

It sounded like more then a tickle but I didn't say anything because Mom always thought she was right, and she would fight to the death to prove it.

I slowly went back to my room to get ready for school. I slid open the double mirrors, revealing my closet. I pulled out a pair of washed out blue jeans, and a purple tank top. I pulled on a pair of black and purple flats, and checked myself in the mirror. I grabbed a hairbrush and fixed my bed head. Once I was happy with what I looked like, I went downstairs to my mom, dad and little sister. I grabbed Cheerios from the pantry, a bowl from the cupboard, a spoon from the drawer, and milk from the fridge. I dragged myself to the table and poured my breakfast. Lillian was eating Trix cereal with her little princess spoon. She looked so content and happy, as most five year olds are.

Her almost white hair was tucked into her shirt, obviously the doing of my mother. She always liked things to be neat and clean, and there was never a spot or a stain to be seen in my house. But it was what people didn't see that was covered in spots but could never be cleaned up. From the outside my life looked perfect but it was the farthest from it because three months ago my mother had been diagnosed with lung cancer. She had tried to cover it up, but her hair had started falling out from chemo and her cough had gotten worse. Sometimes at night I would hear her talking to Dad while crying saying things like, "Jack, if I die..." and "Make sure you let Lillian know how much I love her and tell Bethany I will always miss her and remember her."

She was scared, and you could tell, but his reply was always, "Christine, don't talk like that, you will make it through this."  

Once I had finished eating, I put the bowl in the sink and washed it. I kissed my parents goodbye, and started the five minute walk to school. I loved this walk because I passed by many trees with yellow, red and orange leaves slowly falling to the ground. I never really wanted to go to school because none of my friends understood what I was going thorough. All of their parents were healthy and happy.  

I walked onto the school grounds up to my friend Veronica and hugged her. We walked off to class as the bell rang. I stopped paying attention in school so the day would go by quicker and I could get home sooner.

After school I had gone home to see my mom sitting on the floor playing Candy Land with Lillian.  

"Mommy Beth's home!" Lillian said as she ran over to hug me. "Do you want to paint with me? Mommy said we could."  

I glanced up at my mom and she gave me a small yet caring smile.  

"I would love to paint with you."  

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