Straight Circle

chapter seven

I don't like swimming because my mom always told me it was dangerous. 

When I was two, my cousin drowned during the summer vacation because he wanted to swim from the shore. The lifeguard came too late. It cost him a trial and a death on his conscience. After this tragedy, my parents never took me to the beach again. At first, I was sad because I loved playing with sand and soaking my feet in the water. To deter me from swimming, my mother told me that the water is dirty when there are people in it and sharks can attack me at any time. She's right on these points and I don't feel like I'm wasting my life by not bathing in water mixed with all kinds of substances - not really hygienic. I prefer to stay at the edge and watch the beautiful landscape. 

We came early to get the best spots and the girls have been playing the game prisoner ball for over an hour. A book in my hands, I watch them having fun and laughing out loud. Chaeyoung hits Lisa on the shoulder who jumps on Irene's back making them fall into the water. They're having a good time, but I can't help but wonder if the girls know Lisa's secret. 

I should stop thinking about it. 

 "Come join us!" exclaims Elijah next to me. 

I smile at her and shake my head. I'm in a swimsuit, but it's just for sunbathing. Spending time in the water seems to be forbidden for me. My parents despised this activity so much that I feel that soaking my feet into the seawater is inconceivable. 

 "Maybe after," I shrug, politely refusing her offer. 

She grabs my wrist and forces me to get up. I clench my jaw as she gives me a big smile. "You can't fool me."

I let out a heavy sigh, why did she have to be so perceptive? She leads me to the sea, but I stop so that she turns to me. Swimming is too dangerous. I can't do it. My mother will be furious if she learns that I expose myself to this danger. Elijah looks at me curiously and lets go of my wrist. 

 "I can't," I whisper. 

 "Why not ?" she asks me, raising an eyebrow. 

 She studies my features trying to decipher me as if I were an enigma that needed to be solved. I nervously scratch my forearm and think back to all the reasons that my mother had listed for not approaching the beach or a pool.

 "My parents say it's not good to swim in the sea," I justify myself, taking a serious tone. Elijah doesn't seem convinced because she crosses her arms against her chest and tilts her head to the side. 

"And?" 

"And that's it," I stammer. 

She pushes a small grin before ruffling my hair. 

 "Fuck them, you don't need their approval to do anything. You're such a good girl it's so annoying," she chuckles, taking my hand in hers. 

Elijah never talks to me about her parents, and it is the same case for Lisa. I only know that their father is a chef and their mother is a secretary in a small dental office. Aside from their profession, that's all I know about them. It seems to me that they do not get along with them because they didn't really take well care of them when they were little. Elijah has always been a rebellious child who likes to dictate her own rules and Lisa follows her path. 

Therefore, her comment about my parents' monopoly has a huge impact on me. I never imagined a life without my parents, and especially without their obligations. They want my happiness so they dictate strict rules to me so that I don't fall into the wrong path. 

I always thought that not following their rules would be the worst thing I could do, but what Elijah just told me makes me think swimming is not as bad as that.

I pinch my lips and walk until my feet come into contact with the cold, damp sand. I gasp in surprise when the cool water hits my legs. I raise my head and realize that the girls have been watching me all this time. Chaeyoung gets out of the water to take my hand to train me gently in the sea. At first, the coolness of the water was unpleasant, but the heat of the sun made me plunge my body into the water. After several minutes of adaptation, I can finally enjoy and play with the girls. 

 We spend the entire morning in the water. It is the first time that I bathe in the sea, despite the formal prohibition of my parents, and I had a really good time. Irene taught me how to swim and I can last thirty seconds before I get exhausted which is great.

I am starting to think that my parents do not always have the voice of reason and I don't know if it's a good thing or not.