Zeelandia

11. Dining and Sharing

When Captain was again called to the voice pipe, he told me I may remain in my chair, reading. Then before he ascended the steps to the quarterdeck he added, "You may sit there at your pleasure, Boy, whenever your chores are complete."

"Thank you, Sir." I breathed a long, trembling sigh as I watched him disappear up through the hatch.

A long while later, I caught myself staring at the pages, dreaming, and I tried to reassemble the ideas which had passed through my mind. He shows affection for me. But it is as toward a son, not toward me as a woman. Would he transfer his affection if he learns my identity?

Or would it cease? Would he be angered by my deceit? What then?

Cast me out? Reveal me to the crew and let them have me however they want? I closed my eyes in a tight grimace, shuddering at the memory of Chris' violent attempt.

No, he is far too kind for that. And he does show genuine affection toward me. Toward Boy. Would he offer mercy and show the same affection for me? Would he allow me to continue serving...?

My thoughts were interrupted by Steward's voice, "Boy! Out of that chair. Captain would not want you sitting there."

I looked up from the book and replied, "He had invited me here to sit and read with him, Steward."

He swung his arm around the great cabin. "But he's not here at the moment, and it's improper for you to be there when he is not."

"He told me I may read here at my pleasure so long as my chores are complete."

Steward nodded. "Very well, then. He does have an unusual fondness for you."

"And this delights me. I have grown to love him – as the father I no longer have."

"This would please him. He craves companionship."

"As I have sensed." I pointed toward the dining table. "He has asked me to take meals with him there, that he may have company and intercourse."

"Then I shall inform Cookery Mate, that he will know to prepare sufficient." He paused, pursing his lips before continuing, "But it is still yours to fetch the food."

"Yes, I had thought this, Steward."

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During the following days, Captain and I spoke of many things while we ate. He shared tales of his early adventures from preying on Spanish ships, and of later ones when their mission had turned to one of stopping piracy against English ships and settlements.

I told him what I remembered from stories Father had related, and during my recounting of one of these, he said, "You speak often and fondly of your Father, but not ever of your mother."

I swallowed and nodded. "She was not a kind woman. Bitter is a word which comes to mind. And cold."

"Your father seems the opposite to this. Had they wed through arrangement?"

"I had asked Father this, and he confirmed. He was a son of Baron Cavendish, and he had been arranged to the granddaughter of Count La Trémoille."

"From France, you had said when we talked the first day. How would they have met?"

"Her parents had moved from Brittany to England, but he gave me few details except to say her dowry was huge." I laughed. "I think this was his way to explain how they differed in so many interests, desires and thoughts."

I watched him nod, so I continued, "She was cold and mean-hearted, but he was warm, kind and loving. Like you, Sir."

"Thank you. It warms me to hear you think this."

"I have grown to love you, Sir."

"And I love you, as well, Boy. You offer me a glimpse of what having a family can mean. Children to care for, to enfold and to guide."

"But, first, you must find a woman with whom to share your love. A woman who will offer her love to you."

"True. A family will not come without." He peered into my eyes in silence for a goodly time, then he said, "But I know neither where nor how."

"Possibly among those you have met."

"I have had little opportunity to find one to court. Much of my time has been at sea."

"Surely, with all your experience with women, you must have met some who entice."

"I have no experience with women. They are not allowed in ships except on escorted passage to the colonies."

"But you speak with such authority about women."

"I have learnt this from Mother's constant guidance, and later through discussion with other men – and from reading and pondering it all." He gazed into my eyes again, and I shifted in my seat to mask the trembling as he continued, "You will also ponder these things as you go through your changes. And it helps to ask others – those you trust."

"Such as family. I tried with my cousins, but they scoffed, telling me I was too young to understand." Then knowing he could not from here in the middle of the ocean, I added, "You are now old enough. You could ask your parents, brothers, sisters or cousins to find a woman for you."

He shook his head. "Mine was not a happy childhood."

I watched his mouth twitch, so I allowed him his time.

"I was an unwanted bastard, and if I had the power, I would ensure none need endure the experiences I had. Mother, God bless her, did as much as she could, but the means of a charwoman and beggar are meagre."

"You have risen well above that. How ever did you manage?"

"When Mother passed on, I found a position in a barge on the Thames, assisting the captain. He provided me with food and shelter until I came aboard Zeelandia, which was at that time named Zealand."

I nodded, and remembering Steward telling me Captain had been aboard nine years, I asked, "What age had you then?"

"Not yet fourteen, a bit younger than you. More than half a year sailing the barge and nearing ten years in Zeelandia."

"You speak and think very well for such a spare beginning.

"Captain Bryson taught me to read and to speak properly. He had a large library, and I read a lot. And as you and I do here, we shared increasingly intelligent discussions."

"But it seems far beyond that."

"The officers are of habit from the gentry, and they saw I was eager to learn." He shrugged. "Ten years of absorbing it, and I learn still."

He peered into my eyes. "And it delights me to be learning from you."

"And me from you."