Self issues | Reddie (not writing anymore) PLEASE DONT READ HELP

M+S

Eddies POV:

I woke up in Richies bed. Richie was so cute- and I mean it. He was still sleeping, and he looked peaceful, so I just stared at the turned off tv.

I was thinking a lot about my life, but I suddenly had this flashback.

10 years ago
"mommy, why did you and daddy break up?"

"Eddie bear, we thought we loved eachother. When we thought we did, we made you. Then we realized love isn't real." Mommy explained to me

"Love is yucky, mommy."

"No, eddie, love isn't real. It's just a made up feeling we have when we're lonely. A feeling when we are tingly inside whenever we see someone that is special."

Mommy took a very deep breath.

"Nothing really matters anyways, we all are just gonna die someday. You're too young to understand, edward. You're only 7."

"I can too understand!" I yelled out. Mommy was being mean!

"Don't ever talk to me like that again! Take your fucking pills!

"But it's not time yet-"

"TAKE THEM NOW EDDIE!" Mommy scares me.

Ugh, why did I have that flashback.

After that flashback, I was thinking, if Richie said he loved me, then he was lying . And I was lying too, I think. Because love isn't real.

Wait, if love isn't real then how do we know it? What was I feeling towards Richie? I always feel happy and tingly when I'm around him. I always care for him, i panic whenever I see him because I'm scared I might say the wrong thing, which would cause our whole friendship to end. How come I always want to kiss him and cuddle him? He's always on my mind, I try everything to impress him for no reason at all. He makes my heart beat faster then ever.

I'm so confused.

So, so confused.

I went on my phone to talk to the losers group chat to keep that off of my mind, but it didn't quite work
_____________________________
The losers club

B-b-Bill: so it's like, "bum, pop, Budum budum" then I do the woah?

Bev: NO DURING THE "bum" YOU DO THE WOAH!!! NJEJDGSJSKOABA🥱🙄🤭🤡

Stan the man: wtf is "NJEJDGSJSKOABA" 🤭

Bev: Do you not know how spamming the keyboard works? Djagajksfsh

Stan the man: shdoansiapsbxnsv

Mike: Gee, Bev. Stanley just asked, you don't have to be rude back

Me: hey guys can I ass richie?

Stan the man: 😳 sure

Me: I meant "add" dumbfuck

B-b-Bill: Sure you did

Bev: and sorrrrry, mike. I was just frustrated that bill can't learn a dance 🙄.

Eddie added Richie Tozier

Me: he's still asleep..

Ben: Eddie how do you know that?

Mike: well maybe you should act better instead of bossing people around.

Bev: wtf? I'm not even bossing him around you dumbass. I wasn't even being rude to Stanley so fuck off.

Ben: ok y'all need to stop-

Mike: honey you just mad because I have Stanley to myself and not you, slut 🤪
____________________
Richie woke up and looked at his phone

"Wtf happened to my phone, eds?" Richie said. His phone was full of notifications from the group chat.

"Uh, I added you to my best friend group chat.. "
"What were y'all talking about?" Richie chuckled

"I don't even know to be honest." I giggled.

"Hey Richie, please don't tell anyone we kissed, and did.. you know what. I'm not comfortable with my sexuality yet." I looked ashamed

"It's ok Eddie spaghetti, I understand. I'm not really comfortable with mine either." Richie looked into my eyes and smiled.

There's something I like about that boy. Maybe it's everything about him.
He checked his phone, looking really confused
_____________________
Bev: wtf? I'm not even bossing him around you dumbass. I wasn't even being rude to Stanley so fuck off.

Ben: ok y'all need to stop-

Mike: honey you just mad because I have Stanley to myself and not you, slut 🤪

Stan the man: MIKE!

Bev: STANLEY!

B-b-Bill: BEVERLY!

Ben: BILL!

Me: BEN!

Richie: RICHIE! (a/n: it's a Shrek reference lmfao)

B-b-Bill: you're dating mike, Stan?

Stan the man: yeah.. but I wasn't ready to announce it.

B-b-Bill: oh..

A/N(Authors note)
Sorry this was kinda short