I was on tour and was in Miami when I found out Nipsey died. I lost so many people and it was crazy cause when I finally felt a lil bit of happiness it seemed like someone had to die and that shit brung me back to reality.
Out of all folks I ain't expect it to be him and the fact that he died in LA really killed me cause it made me realize that it be yo own people. It be yo own city that want you dead. When I saw his body I bawled out in tears and I had to wear sunglasses throughout the day. I didn't know how to feel and I still don't.
Nipsey was more than a friend. He was more than a business partner. To me he was a mentor and someone I could fully trust and count on and he was the definition of prolific and the day I found out I had that shit tatted on my face like he did because I felt like I was one of his planted seeds and I planned on planting more seeds on his behalf.
"You ok?" Dee questioned coming in the bed with me and I ain't say shit cause I ain't feel like talking.
"You need to eat. You haven't ate anything" she said and I just stared at her.
"Talk to me" she said laying on me and she rubbed her fingers through my hair that I grew out.
"I don't want to talk" I said and she looked up at me.
"I'm sorry" she said pecking my lips and I deepened the kiss. We've been having sex a lot lately more than usual. It just makes me feel better.
"Okay" Dee said breaking the kiss and I sucked on her bottom lip and I rubbed on her ass as I started to kiss and suck on her neck leaving hickies.
"Roddyy stop I'm still sore from earlier" she said
"I don't care" I said lifting her shirt up and I grabbed her waist.
"I'm serious" she said and I smacked my teeth.
"Get out" I said
"What?" She questioned getting up
"You heard what I said I just wanna be alone right now. Lock the door on your way out" I said and she scrunched up her face
"You was doing so good don't start back talking to me any kind of way" she said crossing her arms against her chest and I laughed.
"When I tell you to do something just do it and there won't be no problem. I'm telling you this as I warning I don't got it in me to play nice and you being here is aggravating the hell out of me. If you ain't come here to fuck or suck on my dick then get the fuck out" I said and she pressed her lips together.
"Fuck you!" She said slapping me and I got up and pushed her back in the bed and chocked her getting all up in her face
"DEE!! You bout to really piss me off and I swear to God it's taking everything in me not to spazz the fuck out" I said and then I let go and she was gasping for air and I just got my keys and left cause the way I was feeling right now was not it. She knew how to tick me off and as of now I didn't have no patience and I wasn't in the mood to apologize either
I just went to the booth and got some shit off my chest and then I booked a hotel for the night and I just turned my phone off and just did nothing and I tried to meditate and I smoked multiple blunts.
I went in the our room to see her sleep and I climbed on top of her taking her shorts off and I woke her up by eating her pussy.
"Go brush your teeth we got to talk"
"You're right we do" she said getting up and once she was done we both sat on the bed facing each other and she was playing with the ring I gave her twisting it around her finger.
"Stop playing with the ring acting like you bout to take it off cause that shit staying on" I said and she took it completely off.
"I don't think we're ready to get married because we both obviously have some growing up to do" she said
"Put the ring back on. We're growing together. We're watching each other grow. You think I'm still the same nigga I was in high school? We've been together two years going on three now and there's still room to grow" I said
"I just don't thi-"
"Let me stop you right there" I said cutting her off cause I knew she was gon say some dumb shit
"Put your ring back on before we continue this fucking conversation" I said and I waited for her to put it on and once she did I finally spoke.
"You knew I wasn't in the mood to play and then you fucking slapped me. How the fuck you thought I was gon react?" I questioned
"You complain about not tolerating disrespect but you're the most disrespectful person I know"
"You knew that shit when you first met me so it's not like I suddenly changed. It's not like I forced you to fucking love me you did that shit on your own and I showed you my true colors from the start " I said
"And don't get me wrong" I continued
"I know that's one of my toxic traits and I'm working on it. I even went to therapy" I said
"I know we was both wrong in the situation but you should of just left when I told you to cause I know you lost people and shit but I don't know the way I'm feeling right now I feel like nobody knows what I'm going through right now and it's not just Nipsey it's the death of my brother, JNew- man everybody around me just keep dying and I don't know what the fuck going on and I was just chilling by myself and then here you go busting up in the room bothering me when I told you I ain't feel like talking. When I tell you I don't feel like talking just say okay and leave me the fuck alone damn" I said
"Okay" she said getting up and I grabbed her hand
"Where you going?" I questioned
"Leaving you alone" she said and I made her sit on my lap.
"Look I'm sorry alright" I said grabbing her neck gently and I kissed on the slight bruises she had and she took a deep breath.
"It's okay" she said and we held eye contact for a good minute until she looked away.
"I love you" I said laying her down and I got up taking my clothes off and climbed in the bed with her with just my boxers on.
"I love you too" she finally said
"I know now what you wanna talk about shorty?"
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