Kill The Boy Band

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Cus sometimes boy bands suck... literally

This story was contributed by Meaghan McIsaac



I used to love The Nexus Boys.

Yes, me. I know it's hard to believe. Even now, standing in a stadium of their 30,000 screaming fans, I feel the familiar thrill I used to get whenever I heard the baseline for Hello, Dream Girl. Wes Newlove wrote it himself, did you know that? God, I was so in love with him. Ha! Things sure change I guess. This time last year, I probably couldn't have imagined a better way to spend Valentine's Day.

Now I can't think of a worse one.

Can you hear me OK? Is this too loud for you? Sorry, hazard of the job. The Nexus Boys concerts are particularly noisy. That's why they're so powerful.

Hmm? What power? You know, from the heart strings.

Oh that's right, you don't know how it works. Guess that's why you're here, huh? I suppose there's no harm in me telling you, tabloids aren't known for being accurate. Probably why my superiors let you come here. Ok first thing to know, human beings radiate an energy, a life force. When a person is happy, delighted, exhilarated, that life force sorta hums, or vibrates, with increased strength. Understand so far?

Hang on, I want to move up to the blue seats. Stay close.

Anyway, that hum makes the life force easier for the Strix to see. What's the Strix? Oh come on, the monsters you're here to profile. What do you call them? Heart suckers? No. Don't say it. Don't call them vampires. They aren't vampires. They don't drink blood. They feed on love. They suck it out of people til they're nothing but empty shells, which if you ask me, is worse than dying, but that might just be me.

Anyways, that's why so many Strix are so often mega stars. Guess if you want, I'm not allowed to tell you either way. But I will say, whoever you're thinking might be Strix, you're probably right. They're designed to seduce. To lure you in. To lull. To make you fall in love. It's how they hunt. Ancient times, they'd sing out by deserted islands, beckoning in sailors til their ships crashed on the rocks. Their songs pull at the heart strings, plucks the strands of your life force like a harp and makes it hum. Well, maybe not yours, but then, you're not who they're interested in. No offense. Anyway, now, instead of beckoning ships, they fill stadiums, gorging themselves on hysterical screaming teenage fans. Fans who love them.

And it's better that way, so the powers that be tell me. Letting the Strix gorge on the crowd. Safer. The Strix get filled up to bursting on little bites of everyone in the crowd, their songs setting all these innocent heart strings humming. And the kids in the crowd, well they barely lose any part of themselves because the Strix can only take a little bit from each individual. So, safe, see?

But then why do I need to be here, right? If it's so safe? Cus sometimes a little taste of each person isn't enough. Like a bag of chips. Little bits of deliciousness but you can eat the whole bag and still feel unsatisfied. Sometimes a Strix....well, sometimes a Strix needs more than chips. Sometimes a Strix needs something more substantial. Sometimes a Strix just needs a life.

Wes Newlove taught me that....

So that's why I'm here. To keep that from happening.

I know what you're thinking -- girl like me, eighteen, hunting monsters -- and you can stop it right now. No one calls me a slayer. That's not a real thing. At least not with Strix. We're called Monitors. Sorry if that disappoints you and your readers, but that's the official job title. We monitor the Strix consumption, making sure they don't take too much from the crowd. Making sure they don't violate the ancient treaties and kill someone.

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