Struggles

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His breathing was unsteady and he was beyond exhausted but he still had the energy to be angry at me .

"You were going to go home" he took his arm off of my shoulder , refusing my help . We stood in front of the car outside . "I don't know what I was going to do" I answered honestly , I didn't want to lie to him . "We came here so you could leave me after you told me you loved me" Ace sounded hurt.......very hurt . "After I told you I loved you". There was a strain in his voice . "You can't blame me for wanting to see if my family had changed" I shook my head .

"But they haven't , you're brothers were raised by your father , to act and think just like him , just like me and my father". I just stared at the ground , I didn't know what to say . "Your brother is just like him , and for me to think you wanted to go home and not be with me anymore...... I've never expressed my feelings Sofia but I'll tell you , you hurt me , this hurt me" he shook his head .

"You can stay here and be with your brothers for all I care" Ace got in his car letting his anger take over his better judgement. I just stared at him with a sad expression . He was angry and rightfully so . He drove off , leaving me alone in front of my old house . I walked around the corner , at least it's not as cold as it was last month , who am I kidding , this was awful . I could help but let the sob escape my lips as I walked around the corner . Tears streamed down my face .

Nothing can ever be easy .

I hurt him . His words just kept repeating in my mind , I can't believe I was stupid enough to think they had changed .

I took my phone out of my pocket and dialled a number .

"Hey" .
"Hey , can you come get me" my fragile voice spoke into the phone .
"Where are you" .
"At my old house" I replied, trying to contain my tears .
"I'll be there in 5" .

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I continued to walk around the corner as I waited to be collected . I had my heels in my hand as I walked down the freezing road bare foot since my feet were aching . My mascara was probably all over my cheeks and I probably looked like a mess . I watched the car appear and stop next to the side walk , where I was .

He got out of the car . "What happened" Ice pulled me into his arms , holding me tight . "I hurt him Ice , I hurt everybody" I whimpered , finally releasing all my built up feelings . "You're fine , you're not cut?" He checked me to see if I was hurt . "No he made sure I didn't get hurt" I shook my head with tears falling from my cheeks . "Come on" Ice helped me into his car .

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I lay in bed , with the blankets up to my neck and the lights off . I asked Ice to leave me alone until I felt better . I just stared at the wall feeling numb , this was our second argument in like two days .

What if they keep continuing? , what will I do? , I can't live without him . Then I heard a knock on the door . "I brought pizza" Ice came in , opening the pizza box and placing it down on the bed . "You bought me pizza even though I'm already staying at your house?" I pouted gratefully . "Oh no , don't get all emotional again , I can't handle it" Ice shook his head jokingly. I smiled slightly before taking a bite of a slice .

"Have you talked to- we don't mention his name" I scowled, interrupting him . "Sofia , you're going to have to make up with him sometime , why not now ? , it's been two days" Ice urged me to try and talk to Ace . I stared at the pizza . "He doesn't want to talk" I shook my head , refusing to listen to Ice's advice . "You're going to talk to him today whether you like it not , now get dressed" .

Ice left , leaving me and the pizza alone . Why should I make any effort with Ace if he's not going to make any effort with me . He's making it pretty clear that he doesn't want to talk since he hasn't tried to call or text . Was it wrong of me wanting to see if my brothers had changed ? . I lay back down , pulling the covers over my head . I feel miserable without him . It's weird that at the start I only annoyed him because I was bored but now I'm around him because I'm in love with him . I love him .

I still love him, even after he left me out in the cold to find my own way home . He didn't call to see if I was okay , he just left , that's what Ace does when he's hurt , he runs . Guess that's why I'll have to make the first move and apologise .

I still better get an apology off of him though .

I struggled to get out of bed but I managed and took a shower . I felt better after the shower , I was ready to see Ace after two days . That may not seem like a long time , but the most we've gone without each other since we met is a few hours .

I think starting a journal would be good for me , then that way I could express my feelings about Ace without having to worry about anyone telling me I'm wrong.

Not to mention I've had to go to school while dealing with me and Ace's short term break up . Hopefully it's short term . School was pretty shit today because I couldn't concentrate , I kept thinking about Ace or food but Ice picked me up and brought me back here . He also got me pizza .

I got dressed , putting on a pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt that hugged my torso .

Thank you all for the support , it means a lot 💕.

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