3:00 am | on hold

eno

Besides the fact that we looked alike, I was nothing like my sister.

She did everything with ease while I struggled helplessly. She blended in when I stuck out like a sore thumb. She always knew what to do, unlike me who thought too much. We were different in so many ways, the list was endless.

That was what I told myself in the past as I grew up, too many times that I believed it now. Yet, when I ran my fingers through my short, lustrous hair and my rich brown eyes stared back at me from the mirror, I thought we might as well have been the same person.

"That's perfect, sweetie," my father spoke behind me. "There's only one thing missing."

My face was blank when he opened his palm, letting the fine silver chain dangle from his fingertips. It shimmered under the yellow light, matching the look in his eyes on the mirror.

He unclasped the necklace and held it widely before me, my throat going dry. Written by the pendant, in beautiful cursive, was the word 'Kaitlyn'. The realization hit me almost instantly: it was my sister's.

I tasted bile on my tongue when he placed the thin silver chain around my neck. I inched my head forward as he fastened it into place. The pendant felt heavy on my chest, the chain cool on my skin.

"You look so beautiful," he murmured, his reflection smiling softly at me. "Just like your mother."

I willed myself to smile, the right side of my lip lifting to a small smirk. It was Kaitlyn's signature smile, one I had seen too many times from her shadow.

"I'm sorry." My father's voice was soft. "I hope you understand why we're doing this."

"I do," I said with tears stinging the corner of my eyes. "Mother would be devastated if she knew it was... Kaitlyn who died. This is the only way."

It took him a moment to answer. "Yes, I believe that too. And you're doing great, Kaylee. Better than I expected."

I stood up from the chair, looking away from my reflection. "I'm ready, Mother must be getting worried."

With a small nod, he walked ahead and gripped the doorknob, pulling the door open. My eyes were blinded momentarily from the light, and I almost stumbled on my step until his hand took hold of my wrist.

I took a sharp breath of air when pain shot through the sole of my feet, caused by the heels I needed to wear. He gave me a worried glance.

"It's fine," I said quietly. "I'll get used to this eventually."

As if on cue, my mother emerged from the kitchen. With her eyes widening, she took three big strides towards my direction and firmly wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh, love! I was beginning to think you wouldn't get out of your room."

My arms slowly went to her back, her strong perfume overcoming my senses. It felt unreal to have her this close to me, but it was comforting nonetheless. Even if she didn't know who I really was.

Tears sprung to my eyes. "I'm sorry, " I whispered.

She didn't let go, her grip only tightening. "Don't say that, Kaitlyn. You're here and it's all that matters. I never liked your sister anyway."

Her words sent a punch to my gut, knocking the breath out of me. I held in the sob that threatened to escape my lips.

I can't do it...

"Clara," my father spoke softly behind me, reminding me of his presence. My mother took a step back before glancing at him. "I think we should all go to bed early tonight. It's been a rough day and we need as much rest as we can get, I'll bring the food to Kaitlyn's room."

I didn't wait for her response and only tilted my head slightly to her direction. I averted my gaze and turned on my heel, pushing the door to my sister's room open.

Then I let the darkness engulf my own.

* * *

Her loathful words rang in my mind, creating a storm that swirled and thundered inside of me.

All this time, I thought I understood my mother. But I was wrong.

I grew up accepting the fact that Kaitlyn would always do better than me. I never crossed the line and always kept my emotions in check. I was the black sheep of the family, and I never complained.

I had done everything she wanted me to do. Why was it that still, she hated me in my death?

Was it hard to show at least a bit of love for her other daughter?

And Kaitlyn... I wish I saw her one last time.

The door creaked open, a beam of light streaking in the room. I didn't look and remained sitting on the edge of the bed, my gaze on the floor.

"My sweet Kaylee." His wary voice reached my ears. "You should finish your food and sleep soon, while the night is still young."

The door clicked closed and his footsteps got louder. He opened the lamp and placed the plate on the bedside table. Silence descended on the room.

"You must know that your mother is a naive and plain woman," Father said. "She couldn't understand how unique you were from the start. But I suppose it was her parent's fault, who raised her to become a perfect child. Someone to flaunt to the other families."

Goosebumps spread through my arms. This was the first time I heard him say something like this.

"But even then, she was the woman I married. Do you want to know why?" He crouched down in front of me and I hesitantly met his deep, soulful eyes. "Because, Kaylee, I went through the same thing she did. She's the person who understands me the most and I love her."

"I-I don't want to hear about it," I whispered, my voice cracking. Then his face morphed into a look of hesitation and regret.

"I know I'm selfish to make you do that. I miss your sister too. But your mother..." The light reflected off his eyes which were filled with tears.

"P-Please, Kaylee." His voice was raw and broken, something I never heard from him before. "I don't want to lose her as well, I'm begging you."

I looked away, my hands clenched into fists. I ignored the pain that erupted from my chest. "How long will I keep this up? I... I can't do it forever."

"A-As long as you could." His throat bobbed. "It's the only thing I ask for."

"Okay." The voice that fell from my lips didn't sound like mine at all.