(Smairuhh) QYNKA!!!!!!!!!

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Smairuhh's screen is desperate for attention, pleading with her to wake up and notice it, practically crawling up her arm to get to her eyes. The light from its lonely face reaching out for her in the early morning darkness of her cramped one-room apartment in the Timothee Chalet.

Finally she agrees to meet its eyes and brings the screen to her face. It's buzzing and humming with alerts and notifications, playing rapid, repetitive clips of screams and howling, enticing her to immerse herself and respond, participate in her half of the relationship with everything online.

BITCH!!! HOW!!!!!!



There's too much happening, the TL is freaking out, like literally everything possible is happening all at once. The screen practically burning in her hands from all the incoming messages, new follower alerts, new deal triggers. Smairuhh's never seen her screen like this, never seen the TL move this fast. Clearly something is happening, but there's too much of it happening to even see what it is. She's like Shh, baby, please, I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong. I need you to calm tf down.

Finally a message appears that Smairuhh is able to grab a hold of, a kite in a storm. - ARE YOU SEEEING THIS???



About what?


I. What are you talking about, Smairuhh asks.


Smairuhh sits up in bed, awake now, alert, worried. Please slow down and tell me what's happening.


I'm serious, please, help. Her screen blinks slowly at her. OK. Rewind.

The other day at the Arena Mall, do you remember that.

Yes and No. I spend every day at the Arena Mall, it's where I work.

The battle, between the Superfine Trio and The Qrrashiclan.

Yes. We watched the battle. My coworkers convinced me to leave the store and watch. Even though I don't really care about any of that.

You do now. Now you do.

No. Why though.

Because of what happened.

What happened. We were just standing there watching them. You kept having to remind me which one was Arkkelina and which one was Azelbeth and which one was...



OK but THEN at the end-

Someone got thrown over the side. They almost hit me. I saw her body coming toward me but it was too fast to even move. I was like Wait is this really happening. They landed right on the boy who was standing next to me. There was a pile of people, of limbs and hair and clothes. It was wild. Everyone was freaking out.

And then what happened.

The battle was over so people started leaving, I went back to work. It was quiet. The new bliss-protectant nectar pops didn't hit the anticipated numbers and we took it off the menu pretty soon after. We had to make way for our unique new maquietic beauty boost drops.

No. Before that. After Arkkelina was thrown over the side and almost killed you. What did you do?


Smairuhh's screen blinks and flashes to a video. It's her, Smairuhh, at the Arena. The chaos of Arkkelina just having been thrown over the rail, everyone wondering Wait did that just happen and Wait who won??, and everyone staring up at Qynka standing over them triumphantly in her MURDERESS shirt. Everyone, almost, except Smairuhh, whose screen is still trained the pile of people who broke Arkkelina's fall. She says:

"Defeating a Superfine sister is the only way to become one."

In her room, Smairuhh watches herself. "I said that?"

Her screen shows her this scene from 5 other angles, everyone around her who caught the moment on their screens.

OK, so whatever?

So it's everywhere. You were right.

What do you mean I was right, it was just a dumb thing I said that I don't even remember saying.

Her screen shows her a video of Qynka entering the Superfine Trio's compound, grainy, zoomed-in footage of the matriarch, Alikatase, holding the door open for Qynka and welcoming her in. People on the TL freaking out. These are sworn enemies, always have been. What in Wood2 could possibly be happening. And then the video of Smairuhh saying her sentence being resurfaced by people in the Qrrashiclandom. Its been getting shared and reposted everywhere, over and over again. Hailing Smairuhh as a genius, a seer.

Check your followers, her screen says. How many did you have yesterday.

Shut up, you know I don't want to talk about it.

You had 11k.


Go look now.

Smairuhh swipes and checks her followers. She feels. Something weird turning inside her. Her heart growing wings inside her chest.



She stares at the number. Her entire life is different from how it was when she went to sleep last night.

Wait. But. I'm. Why.

Because what you said was funny and prescient and possibly true.

True? How?

The Qrrashiclan and the SuperFine Trio were sworn enemies before the battle, and everyone only expected it to get worse when Qynka defeated them at the Arena. The fandoms were prepared for war, but instead something else is happening, and the fandoms don't know how to react, so they're at war with themselves. And people are looking to you to help them figure it out.

It was just a thing I said.

It was divination. The Superfinedom and the Qrrashiclandom have historically been diametrically opposed fandoms. The fact they may be on the same team, working towards the same goals, has them...freaking out. And at the center of it is you.

I have 90k followers. What do I do now.

Whatever you want. Her screen shows her offers from brands wanting to interact with her. Brands that a few hours ago didn't even recognize her existence. Bots trying to set up a private fitting at her convenience. Suggesting times, to welcome her to the brand. Brands wanting to use her video, her brand, to help their brands. Invitations to tour new apartments all over the city. Even as she sits here processing everything her follower numbers are still rising.

Smairuhh had always felt extremely hopeless, deficient, for not know what she wanted to do, what her skills were, not being better at saying funny or interesting things online that drew attention in the form of friendships and brand interactions. For not having a compelling brand strategy. But apparently sometimes you just say the exact right thing and that's all it takes to set your life in motion.

Her screen is done coddling her. It floods her with messages again, every person who's ever interacting with her dying to get her attention back now, suddenly, immediately. Everything happening at once.

OK wait, Smairuhh says, scrolling. One more minute before the entire rest of her life begins. Remind me again which one was Qynka.


[end of Episode 01]

I know, who's this Smairuhh person, what does she have to do with anything. I promise there's a plan happening! Lots more soon. Thanks so much for reading!

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