He hasn't me in a week now. What is he going. Does he not love me anymore. Is he hurt, crying. Does he not want to have to face me and leave me. The lasted time a talked to him he cut. I broken down for hours over it, wondering why did he do it. Wondering was it worth it, hurting the girl you say you love over so bullshit like that. Or am I just overthinking again as I always do about everything. Is there another girl that you love more than me, is she prettier than me, are you happy with her. Does she love you the way I do. Me knowing that it's probably true, that he found someone else. Way better than me, well because I am nothing, always have been always will be. He is probably thinking about her right now, wondering if she is ok, when he is forgetting about me. It's always her, never me I am always second best. I just want to be loved by one person and him or her only love me but, not for my body for me. I want to be loved for who I am not who I pretend to be. I wake up crying every night around 1 or 2 scared to death that I don't sleep at night anymore. I am always wondered why am I like this. But it's just me. All I want to do is stay in my room away from everyone and cry. A year ago from today I tried to kill myself for the first time...I was not scared..I was happy. But now I don't know what I feel anymore...
Hopefully you enjoy
