CHAPTER 20: A MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE

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The next hour or so sped by in a blur of voices and of faces alight with an excitement that both irritated and unnerved me

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The next hour or so sped by in a blur of voices and of faces alight with an excitement that both irritated and unnerved me.

The evening meal was prepared and eaten, something which only added to the uplifted mood of the group when they realised that we had the spoils of the Lancaster House raid to feast on, albeit sparingly. It never failed to surprise me how simple tins of mackerel and tins of potatoes could make it seem like we were eating a feast worthy of the Hogwarts Great Hall. No one gave much of a shit now about Michelin Star restaurants when something like tinned fish seemed like such a luxury. 

Afterwards, with satisfied smiles on everyone's faces, the chatter among the group was unmistakably different to the usually sombre atmosphere. I stayed out of the conversations as much as I could, preferring to sit at the side, watching as people did what they always did around Tom – gravitate towards him, seeking out his company, wanting to chat to the man who could hold a whole room in his thrall.

Lena, on the other hand, still wasn't receiving such a warm welcome, but Taj spent some time with her, his face serious as they talked quietly away from the others. When he eventually moved away, she was left on her own, just as I was. 

I'd never wanted to get away so much and seek solace in my own company. Looking at them all made my chest tighten, bones crunching inwards, pushing the air out of my lungs. I was just considering trying to slip out unseen, when I heard the creak of the chair next to me. Looking up from where I was seated on the floor, I smiled weakly as Ivy rubbed at her knees, her face grimacing at her aching joints.

'Arthritis playing up again?' I asked.

'Again?' Ivy harrumphed and pursed her lips. 'Always, girl, always. These old bones like to tell me often how much they hate it down here in these damn tunnels. They always complaining at me. I think they'd quite like to see the sun one more time, you know?'

I frowned. 'We'll get you out of here, Ivy. You'll see the sun again.'

It had been too long since Ivy had been topside. Too long since she'd felt the kiss of the sun on her skin.

She chuckled, the laughter turning into a cough that crackled too much for my liking.

'Girl, you're living in a dream world, you know. Coming down is always easier than going up and coming down here was not easy for an old songbird like me. Uh-huh. Not easy at all.' She sighed. 'All I can do now is take the sunshine where I can get it. Iza over there got the sunshine in her smile, yeah? Vik got the sunshine in his crocodile stories. Young Lewis still got the sunshine even though he needs to wash his face more often.'

I smiled, pulling at a loose thread on the edge of a new hole in my jeans, knowing I'd have to loot myself some new clothes at some point soon before they all fell apart.

'And then there's you,' she said, her relentless gaze resting on me. 'The girl who got more sunshine than the rest of them put together.'

I hated it when she did this and loved it at the same time. It was dangerous to care in the New World. Dangerous to get attached. Yet, Ivy had this way about her, and you just couldn't help it. I bathed in it for a bit, letting it wash over me, needing something to hold onto. Something to pull me out of this dark well of despair and desperation that seemed intent on drowning me.

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