this is a thang now ig

27 2 19

"jUNGLEBOOK WAKE THE FUCK UP U SEXY BEAST-" Hali was promptly thrown off the bed by an exhausted man child.

"iTS 6 AM WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WAKING ME UP?" Kook screeched, as Hali screeched and hit the floor! WOW, SCOTT I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT!

let's see that in instant replay

Hali arose from the floor absolutely fuming and lungtook realised his mistake.

"oH SHIT FUCK NO I'M SORRY-" It was too late. Hali was T-Posing and descended on him, like motherfucking Jesus.

"YOU FUCKNG BITCH WHY U THROW ME LEIK DAT, GET REKT N00B 420 BLAZE IT," She screamed while pinning him down, rolling up his sleeve and bit down on-

...a doughnut?

"for fuck's sake you idiots, you woke me up," Yoongi glared, a dark death aura that said "make one more fucking move and I'll cut you" radiated off of him while having shoved a doughnut under Hali before she got to rip a chunk of Jungsh00k's arm off. Hali chewed on the doughnut.

"mmm... I prefer caramel but this will do-" Hali met Yoongi's gaze and almost fainted.

"You... will accept anything I give you. Do you understand me? Because I have the power to string out your guts and use it as a skipping rope-"

Suddenly the curtain opened up and Yoongi hissed in terror at the beams of light before scuttling out of the room, crawling on the ceiling n' shit like a roach, Seopi started chucking used Teabags at him from afar, making him screech like a pterodactyl and scuttle faster. Hali stared in fascination.

"whAT ARE THOSE?" gguk asked. Seopi hurled one at him and smiled.

"It's an anti-human device. We use them a lot in England after making our tea."

"Holy shit that's amazing,"

"You can use used tea bags for pretty much anything, bookmarks, anti pigeon devices, you can play catch with them, you can just smoke that shit,"

"Seopi are you talking about tea again?" Seokjin stumbled blindly into the room, yawning.

"YES IT IS MY CULTURE YOU DISRESPECTFUL SWINE" Seopi yelled, yeeting one in his face making a loud wet splat. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Thanks for that you bitch, you just ruined my gorgeous face and now the earth won't get it's daily nutrients, I hope you know that you're the reason that global warning exists,"

"I'd gladly sit back and watch the world burn."

"Why do I even like you-"


"Do YoUr ThAnG, dO yOuR tHaNg WiT mE nOw," Jungcrook sang while setting fire to the frying pan in the kitchen. Hali choked on her pancake and spat it out.

"LIKE, RIGHT NOW? OR-" She spluttered. Koo Koo looked over at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Whenever you want," he winked. Seopi and Clara glared at him intensely through the kitchen door.

"Fuck you," Hali rolled her eyes

"When and where? My schedule is open."


Bzzzzz bzzzzz

The buzzing soon stopped and JK finally found the source of the noise which was phone with a red RJ case.

Coconut answered the voicemail.

"This message lasts two minutes..." Seopi looked up at her phone in horror as Jin's voice suddenly started yelling. She dashed in but jungkoo had put it on speaker.

"This is for Seopi you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch. Why you took my motherfucking food and my heart you dirty white racist-ass big fat bitch. OOMPA LOOMPA BODY-ASS BITCH! IMMA COME UP THEIR AND IM GONNA BEAT THE FUCK OUTTA YOU BITCH-"
"Message saved"

"I don't know whether to congratulate you or laugh at you, Seo-Seo" Emma hummed, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a drink.

"Well now we don't have to bully Jin into telling us his crush, I honestly thought it would be Joon." Hali shrugged. Jin walked into the kitchen and everybody stared at him.

"What?" He asked, looking around at everyone. Jungtook handed Seopi her iPhone and slapped her on the back.

"Now this is what I call Karma," he smiled, watching his Hyung's face grow paler and paler.

"We'll leave this to you guys to talk it out," Clara called as everyone apart from Jin and Seopi left the room.

There was silence before Seopi piped up.

"You're lucky you did it with excessive swearing otherwise I would have rejected you. You absolute man-baby.

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