" When you try not to look at me
Scared that I'll see you hurting
You're not hiding anything, no
And frankly it's got me worried
Nobody knows you better than I do
I keep my promises, I'm fighting for you"
It was her first day back and so far she couldn't feel more out of place than the first time she had arrived. Everyone had been staring at her as if she were some tragic accident waiting to happen. Maybe she had come back too soon, but the images of herself being beaten and violated over and over again were beginning to consume her every thought she needed something to distract herself with, but now she was thinking it was a bad idea to come back to this place. Every where she went there was someone else pitying her she couldn't take it much longer.
She made her way behind the stairs leading to MTAC then she slid down the wall and ran shaky hands through her already dishevelled hair all while letting out a sigh.
She stopped. Frozen,Her body becoming rigged. The images of her captors started flashing through her head sending her mind through a loop. Suddeyn She didn't know where she was anymore...What she did know was that she could sense the presence of someone nearby. Without thinking or even looking up she slowly got up and reached for her sidearm only to realize she hadn't gotten it back yet. Her eyes grew wide she could feel another panic attack coming over her ,She had to get away but her body wouldn't respond. The figure came to stand in front of her, her sense of distress was beginning to increase with every second that passed by. She felt a hand reach for her. Her instincts kicking in she had the person down on the floor in two seconds flat.
Guilt descended on her as she realized that it wasn't one of her captors ,no instead her eyes met a soft, kind set of hazel eyes. Yes it was Tony she had slammed to the ground.
"I'm sorry" she said softly now her eyes beginning to look anywhere but at him she didn't want him to see her shame. She knew he would just try and tell her it wasn't her fault; She didn't want that, it was her fault she had been reckless.
Ever since she got back she had been avoiding her team and him in particular, He was the last person she wanted to hurt.
The concern for her that he had was unmistakable. As he took in her current state, After she realized who he was she'd stop looking directly at him. Confusion started clouding his face as he looked up at her. Her face reddened and she quickly got up from the position she was in and retreated to find some where safe where she could hide.
Tony got up and straightened his suit. Glancing up at the stairs he was met by the stares of the other agents in the building not doubting that they had seen what had just transpired
He returned their stares with a glare and in a firm voice with an underlining threat so as to be clear with them.
"Don't ever let me catch you staring at her like she's some kind of freak show for you to watch again" he turned on his heels he would give her some time to recollect herself then go find her.
"I'm not going any place
I just hate to see you like this
No, I can't make it go away
Oh, but keeping it inside won't fix it
I can't give you every answer that you need
But I wanna hear everything you wanna tell me"
He had been looking for Ziva as soon as he had gotten back from interviewing a witness from the case they were currently working on. He decided to check the break room first .his mind hadn't stopping going back to thoughts of her passed out on the floor battered and stark naked so he thought a check up was in order after all he was finding it increasingly hard to not know where she was and if she was ok.
Walking into the break room Tony sees McGee and Abby looking both distraught and worried. Abby had her hands close to her chest one rubbing the back of the other, if she didn't stop soon she would probably start seeing her knuckle bone.
He made his way over to them
"What's going on?"
They both stopped and looked at Tony as if they'd just realized he had entered the room. McGee nudged his head in the direction of the back of the room. Tuning his head to where McGee had indicated he saw who he was looking for. She was sitting with her back turned to them at the farthest table in the room. From what he could see she had a cap of coffee in hand though she didn't look as if she planned on drinking it anytime soon.
"She's just been sitting there, we tried talking to her but we just couldn't reach her". Abby said clearly heartbroken over this whole situation. Looking from Ziva to Abby then back to Ziva again. He spoke to Them while still not keeping his eyes of his little ninja
"It'll be Ok"
"You really think so its been four months and she still hasn't said anything to any of us, unless there's something either you or Gibbs aren't telling us"
"No, and the boss said she hasn't said much to him other than she's fine" Tony replied simply, then without another word or glance their way he made his way to his ninja.
Taking the seat opposite to her, he reached over and touched her hand that was currently not holding the coffee cup. She instantly looked up her eyes meeting his own apparently McGee and Abby weren't the only ones that hadn't taken notice to his arrival. She looked so broken as she searched his face, there was gulit wriiten on her own face from no doubt for what happened a few mornings ago. Then though as if resigned to some fact she looked back down into her beverage. With a scowl on his face he lightly consumed her fingers with his own fingers.
Though her lack of reaction was a bit disconcerting especially given how close she had come to killing him the last time he tried to touch her. Wanting to stay positive he took it as a good sign and carefully intertwined his fingers with her own locking them loosely. he didn't want to push it and firmly lock them, she could have another episode anytime and break them after all
"Come on Ziva ,open even if it's just a little"
A glimmer of hope passed through him as he saw as she lightly bit her lower lip as if she were about to speak but it passed as she let it go and continue looking at her coffee cup.
"Well when you are ready to talk we'll be here for you and my door's always open whenever your up for it"
A slight nod was all he got but at that moment that was he needed. So they stayed there in silence hands still entagled.
You need love tough enough to count on
So here I am
You're not alone
I'll listen till your tears give out
Your safe and sound, I swear that I wont let you down
He made his way out of the bathroom towel draped over his robed how the day went a nice warm shower was exactly what he needed. At this rate they would probably be looking at another two or more months before she started actually saying anything significant to her recovery. the thunder rolling and the rain pouring outside it fit their situation perfectly. He could wait though, had said it would take awhile before she could really start opening up.
That bastard better pray he got sentenced to death row anything less and Tony would personally have to go after him and do what the legal system failed to do.
Just then a small knock sounded on his door. He furrowed his brows and checked the time it was two thirty in the morning. Who could possibly be at his door so late. It couldn't be Gibbs that was for sure.
Making his way over he ran a quick hand through his still damp hair and looked through the peephole. He was shocked of all the people in the world he hadn't expected to see her, it looks as though she intended to take him up on his offer. Quickly swinging open the door he greets her with his infamous Dinozzo smile but the smile faded as he realized she was crying head down arms wrapped around her waist protectively soaked to the bone. Geez did she walk in the rain or something. It only took a second for him to gather her in his arms
"Its OK ,I've got you your safe now" he whispered to her reassuringly while rubbing gentle soothing circles on her back.
They stayed there just like that the only sound produced by either of them were her sniffles as she tried to reign in herself but found that she just couldn't stop. Her tears rushed out of her like a dam that had its wall broken down. Between what happened in Somalia and her past mission she had resigned herself not to feel sorry for herself and so she had locked all emotions associated with what happened away, but it seemed as though her emotions had decided enough was enough they needed release and they would keep pushing until they got freedom. So the next thing she knew she was at Tony's apartment door and by the time she heard the lock click open she lost it and just broke down.
Deciding that this wasn't the best place for them to be plus the fact that he had to get her wrapped up in something warm before she caught a cold he ushered her inside and lead her to his couch. He directed her to sit, then quickly went to his closet and grabbed a towel.
Making his way back over to her, his heart clenched she was still crying though he could tell she was trying to fight them away.
Taking a seat next to her he securely wraps the towel around her then ushers her in his arms, her head on his chest his own on top off hers.
"You don't have to hold back Ziva, not with me" he said tighten his hold on her just a fraction more. Her sobs grew louder and louder.
"That's it let it all out I'll be right here" he whispered.
For the rest of the night going into the morning she stayed there in his arms after crying for a couple hours she finally got tired enough and fell asleep for the first time in what felt like forever
YOU ARE READING
Cry With YouFanfiction
After an assignment goes wrong Ziva is left battered,bruised and violated all over again. she's shutting out everyone who ever loved her,what will it take for her to let those closes to her in and finally find healing? Maybe a very special agent nam...