𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

stress | dean x reader

type: angst
warnings: mild swearing

imagine: you crack under the stress of remembering what happened in hell

•

Everyone was gathered around the world table, planning. You weren't paying attention at all. As of recently, things were getting bad. Extremely bad.

Hell. You remembered it. The way that you had been tortured day and night, and the freezing darkness of your cell. The way that the souls would imitate Sam, Dean, and Cas.

But worst of all, you remembered when you were "upgraded." You were so drained of being hurt over and over again that you cracked. You were the torturer.

It was almost as horrible. Weapons. Blood. Screams. All for the people to be remade and destroyed again. You remember when you started to enjoy what was happening. You still hadn't forgiven yourself for that.

"Y/N?" Sam interrupted. You snapped out of your trance and shook your head to look at him.

"Huh?"

"What do you think about that plan?" He asked. You glanced at your hands and then back at him.

"Yeah, uhm. It sounds good," You responded without a drop of enthusiasm in your voice. Cas gave his iconic confused head tilt and you lowered your face into your arms.

"Hey, are you okay?" Dean questioned. That was just about all it took for you to cry on the spot. You looked up at the boys with overflowing eyes and opened your mouth to explain. Words couldn't seem to form and you excused yourself from the table.

As you paced around the corridor, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming amount of guilt. Every little thing was rushing back to you, and you sunk to the floor of the hallway. You sobbed into your knees, tightly grasping at your shirt.

"Stop it, Y/N," You whimpered. A headache formed and you whispered as more tears fell down. "Stop it, stop it."

You became aware of your irregular breathing patterns and raised your hands above your head. With an immediate rush of ptsd, you threw them back down and let out an excruciatingly upsetting scream.

"You should probably go check on her," You heard Castiel mumble.

Footsteps followed Sam's remark, "She listens to you."

Dean trailed around the hallways until he found you curled up against the wall. "Hey," He said quietly, sitting beside you and crossing his legs. You couldn't respond.

There was an unsettling pause before you shuffled
over and curled into the crook of his neck, sitting in his lap, and wrapping your arms around his torso. He held you there gently, trailing his fingers in your hair and down your back.

For the first time in a long time, you had a really good cry. It was hearty and full of voiceless conversations. After semi-regaining yourself, you sat up straight and he pressed a firm kiss on your forehead. He wiped away your tears with his thumb and gave you a smile that screamed you can talk to me.

"What's going on in that big brain of yours?" He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. You removed your head from his neck and looked him in the eyes. You took a shaky breath, then began.

"Dean, it's Hell," You whispered, letting a few small tears fall. His face grew to become more confused and worried.

"What do you mean? What is hell?" He responded.

You shook your head, wrapping your hands into his. "That's just it. Hell is hell," You mumbled. His eyes grew a little wider, and you grew the strength to look in them once more.

"Are you remembering it?" He asked you quietly, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. You nodded, shamefully putting your head down, As if it was some sort of sin to remember what had happened. "Oh, Y/N..."

"You have no clue what it was like," You breathed out angrily with a hint of upset. "All of the bodies and the souls and the screams and the pain. It was hell. I feel so bad. I tortured so many innocent people."

"Tortured?"

You wanted to rip your hair out. "Yes! Tortured! I tortured people and I felt good about it, Dean! I was happy to torture people! I'd hurt and hurt and finally when they thought it was done, their bodies regenerated and I had to do it all over again! I didn't care! I was numb to it!" You screamed, letting months worth of fire blaze out. Dean was almost frightened by your tone, but you stopped and curled back into his chest. "I just want this to be over," You sobbed quietly. "I want things to go back to the way they were."

"I know this girl... Her name is Y/N. Do you know her?" Dean asked into your scalp. You didn't respond. "She's a really really strong girl, you know. Much strong than me, or Sam, or Cas. Hell, she's strong than all three of us combined."

You sat up and watched his lips move. He looked down the hallway rather than making eye contact.

"She's been through a lot. She told me once that she wasn't gonna make it, but she recovered. She was healthy again. Things took a turn for the worst. She went through Hell. Literal Hell. I know that she'll be okay, but I need to tell that to her. I cant find her though... Hmm, strange. I just say her somewhere around here," He joked, looking around at the ceiling and floor. He then made direct eye contact with you and smiled. "Oh! There she is!"

Your cracked a small grin, playfully shoving him. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

He placed a soft kiss on your lips, then nodded. "It's gonna be okay, Y/N. Time will heal the wounds."

•

Dean was right. Time does heal the wounds.

You walked into the library and seated yourself down at the table. "You're late," Sam muttered jokingly.

"By like 20 seconds," You responded. "What're we playing?"

"Monopoly," Cas smiled. You shot him a quick grin.

"Get ready to have your ass handed to you."

"As if," Dean chimed in, bringing popcorn to the table. You snatched the whole bowl, sticking out a childish tongue. "Dork."

•
{shelby}
{1044}