EPHEMERAL || BBH

The View from the Backstage ❁

*.☽.*

Two days before Christmas, D-day Fan Meeting.

Even if Baekhyun didn't talk about it or even deny it...I just knew that he was tensed. We were in his dressing room. He was on the chair in front of the mirror and I was on the couch behind him. It was just the two of us and he hadn't gotten ready yet since the event was still a couple of hours later.

I had been observing him through the mirror and I saw how he fidgeted on the ring on his finger, swallowed a few times and tilt his head down from time to time.

He was nervous and I guess I was just as worried as he was. Standing on my feet, I walked towards him and stopped next to his chair. I caught his attention right away, his facial expression shifting all of a sudden from staring blankly on the mirror to looking at me affectionately. He smiled at me but I only stared at him until the upward curve on his lips disappeared.

I knew, he was trying to conceal his true feelings right now, probably so I won't be worried.

He sighed as he pulled me in a gentle hug.

"If no one shows up tonight..." His voice revealed how bothered he was by the thought. "I'll be done for sure."

There was a pang in my heart hearing this from him. For the last few days, he never talked about his meeting with the higher ups of his company and I was too scared to ask him about it as well. He, opening about this, hours before his fan meeting, was somehow making me feel uneasy.

"They said the moment the public makes it obvious that they have lost interest in me, they're going to terminate my contract."

Afflicted, I closed my eyes, thankful that he couldn't see my face right now.

If that was what the company told him, then why did he push with this fan meeting? Why didn't he just settle with an interview or a press conference? I wanted to ask him these questions but I knew fully well that it would only make him feel uncomfortable. So, I ended up rubbing his back with my hands gently.

"Sometimes..." He trailed off as he let go of me then stared blankly on the mirror. "I ask myself, do I really have loyal fans who'll stay with me or have they come to hate me to the point of leaving me..." Pausing, he looked up to meet my eyes. "I wanna know the answer to this...so bad." I saw how he gulped, momentarily closing his eyes as he looked away again. "I don't wanna continue agonizing myself longer...I need to know how many will choose to be by my side."

Aww, my heart was melting and I wanted to cry so badly but I just knew that it wouldn't help, so instead of entertaining my tears, I smiled at him as I brushed my fingers through his beautiful, black hair.

"Believe me, you're so easy to love Baek...but so so soooo hard to let go." I told him, my hand shifting to his to hold his face. "You know how much I tried but I'm still here..." I bit my lip as I saw the soft expression on his face. "I guess what I'm trying to say is...those who truly love and support you will choose to be with you no matter what."

There it goes, his lips formed into a beautiful smile. A genuine one. 

"The way I'd be a total mess without you Babymommy." He said as he held my hand and brought it to his mouth for a kiss. "So, don't you ever move an inch away from me..." Halting his own speech, he took my hand and made me stand between his legs before pulling me closer for another hug. "Do you understand?" He added.

Though a bit shocked by the way he pulled me closer to him though we were in his dressing room, I couldn't help but smile at him and nod at how he's being this affectionate right now.