Chapter 39

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Whoo, this was a hard one since i haven't been in sync with Chase in a long time so i'm a bit rusty. And now you get to see what's in his mind :)

Dedicating this lovely chapter to botdffanforever for being such a coolio dude :P

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Chapter 39

(Chase’s POV)

*Wednesday, before Alan arrived*

    The sounds of something screaming at ears woke me up. I scratched my head and threw the annoying alarm clock, smashing it to smithereens to make it shut the hell up. Groaning from the throbbing pain in my head from a hangover I have, I reluctantly got out of bed and trudged into the bathroom to a much needed shower.

    Things have been bad for me. I haven’t been able to sleep ever since I broke up with Alan, scratch that. It was more of like I ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it with spiked cleats. Every time I closed my eyes, I would see his beautiful blue eyes, so full of life and happiness when they ever landed on me, only to fade and dull down until the spark of life I see all the time blank out. It was like something died inside of him and I knew I did something unforgivable, something permanent. Glassy, dull eyes, devoid of life would stare at me, cold and full of pain as tears fell down his cheeks. Each drop almost made me flinch as they splashed onto the floor, like bombs.

    Right when Alan left my room, I threw Amanda off in disgust and went straight into the bathroom, desperate to clean off the filth of her sweat, the smell of her perfume clinging onto me, and the guilt that slammed onto me like a tsunami during a storm. The shower didn’t clean off the guilt, but it did wash off the Amanda stink on my skin.

    After the shower, I changed into some clean clothes and forced myself back into the party. I don’t know how much I drank, but it knocked me out completely and I couldn’t remember doing anything while I was drunk. The hangover was killer, but the house was already cleaned thanks to the staff.

    The next few days haven’t been fun. The guilt kept growing, never leaving my conscious, some of the staff hate me, especially Drake, the chef. He still cooks for me, since it’s his job, but he wouldn’t look at me and when he does, he would glare, then turn away and leave in the opposite direction. Even Leon would give me looks of disappointment, not that I blame them.

    Although I hurt Alan, I anticipated seeing him on Monday, but he didn’t show. He didn’t show on Tuesday either and I began to worry, but I didn’t show it at all. I just sat with my team in the cafeteria at the old table, the one I was using before Alan came into my life and faked laughed like all the other positive emotions I’m showing on the surface. I had to force myself not to beat the shit out of everyone for laughing at insulting Alan.

    Well, it’s Wednesday and I wished to fuck that Friday came sooner. I just wanted to be done with school already and not have to fake it all anymore. Is it really worth it? Is my reputation at school really worth     all this misery?

    I got out of the shower and wrapped one towel around my waist while grabbing another towel to dry my dripping hair. I opened the medicine cabinet, took a few pills of aspirin, parked my hung-over ass onto the bed and clutched my head, the throbbing a lot worse than it was half an hour ago. Goddammit, I gotta lay off the booze. Right when that though occurred, I knew that won’t be happening. Being drunk helps numb the pain and guilt, and I’m holding onto the numbness like a lifeline.

    A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts. “Come in.” I barked, wincing from the jab of pain on my brain.

    Leon came in his black butler suit and bowed. “Sir, breakfast is prepared in the dining room.”

    I nodded. “Thanks.”

    Leon bowed and turned to leave, then hesitated when he was about to to take a step. “Sir, if I may say something.”

    I sighed. “Leon, you know you don’t have to give me this polite talk shit. You are my friend, even though you hate me right now for what I did to Alan.”

    Leon stared at me, then shook his head. “Chase, I don’t hate you, but I hate how your pride is ruling your life. Is your reputation really that important? It is just high school and although I do understand the appeal of being on top of the social pyramid, it won’t benefit you later on in your future. I know you have feelings for Alan, I can tell because I’ve been taking care of you for years. Don’t let your reluctance of lowering your social status keep you from someone who makes you look the way you look when you are with Alan.”

    My shoulders sagged. “It’s already too late. I hurt him.”

    Leon walked over and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “That is true, but he did love you. Is your high school really that important?”

    I didn’t say anything because I know he’s right, but I can’t let it go. From elementary school to now, I’ve been fighting to keep my rightful place as top dog of the school. I’ve had so many brawls, it was impossible for me NOT to be good at fighting. I became the one girls, and some boys, drooled over, who guys envied and wanted to be. How can I let all of it go for just one guy?

    Leon saw my turmoil and reached into his pocket, taking out an envelope. “A letter came for you today.” He handed it to me and left.

    I stared at the brown envelope and set it aside. I’ll check it out later. Now, I have to dress, eat some breakfast, and hope that the headache from hell would be gone by the time I get to school. I got on my feet and picked out some random clothes, then slipped them on. I checked out my outfit, a white t-shirt, blue faded jeans, the football team’s jacket and a pair of nikes. Not bad.

    My bag was over my shoulder, the enveloped slipped inside to check out later. I went down the hall, down the stairs and into the dining room where the food was waiting to be eaten. The only thing is, I didn’t have much of an appetite, so I grabbed the toast with jam already slathered on it and headed for the door.

    “You guys can have the rest,” I yelled as I went over to my car and started the ignition.

    I thought I was late, but I was fifteen minutes early, which wasn’t like me. There wasn’t practice today, since coach had to leave for an appointment, which is a plus. I don’t think my hungover ass would be able to take the drills.

    There wasn’t much to do but to sit in my car and just wait for the time to go by before I made my way to class. I went over to my locker and grabbed my things, then tossing some of the stuff I didn’t need before I slammed the locker shut and went over to Chemistry.

    I haven’t sat at my table ever since Monday, not wanting to be next to Alan. Besides, the guys would be suspicious as to why I was sitting next to a ‘loser’. I had to grit my teeth and not lash out at anyone for calling him that, but it really is my fault to begin with. I was the one who agreed to the bet in the first place, calling him a loser and many other shitty things behind his back all for the sake of keeping up with my so called ‘friends.’

    Now that I think about it, are they really my friends? We hang out, joke around, talk about problems (technically clingy/psychotic girls and sex), and help each other out, but I don’t really know. Cal was the only one I really felt comfortable with having my back, but now that’s over. He hasn’t talked to me since the party.

    Wait, why am I even questioning my buddies? Of course they’re my friends. Why the hell else do I hang out with them if I didn’t think they were my friends? I shook my head. Yeesh, Leon’s words are really getting to me. Yeah, my high school social status is important because it’s high school. If you don’t show your dominance in this hell hole, then you’ll be eaten, chewed up, then spit out my the ones on top, which is why my friends have to also be high in the food chain too.

    Cory, my new table buddy and one of the linemen on the team came in and sat in his seat. He raised his hand up top. “Hey man.”

    I slapped his hand and knuckled punched his fist. “Sup.”

    Cory dumped his bag on the table and sighed. “Nothing doing. I’m fucking tired is all.”

    “Didn’t sleep?”

    Cory grinned lecherously. “Been up all night fucking Britney.”

    I raised my eyebrow at him. “The blond one with perky tits and gives good bjs?”

    Cody nodded. “Yup, and she does give good bjs.”

    I wasn’t really into the conversation so I nodded in agreement and waited for class to start so I can finally leave and get this day over with. My hopes aren’t up because I’ve had it shot up, only to be let down when Alan didn’t come to school for two days. Why should I get it shot down again when I know he isn’t going to come to school today?

    The bell rang and Mr. Portland began the lecture, which I zoned out. Can this guy be any more boring? I’m surprised I’m even passing the class, but it’s all due to Alan helping me out with homework. Ever since we started dating, my grades shot up from C- average to A’s and B’s. Didn’t that boost up my teachers’ egos? Too bad they weren’t the ones who brought them up with their ‘excellent’ teachings.

    The door opened and I dropped the pencil I tossed into the air, my jaw dropping onto my lap from shock and warmth that flooded into me.

    Alan stood at the front of the room, his hair pulled back to show his face, a few strands dangling in random places on his face. He has dark smudges under his eyes and his cheeks have sunken in from not eating, hitting me with hulk fists of guilt. Aside from that, he looked amazing. He wore a black, turtle neck, thin sleeved shirt, skinny jeans that showed off his perfectly shaped ass and delicate thighs. A black scarf with skulls polka dotting the entire thing was wrapped around his neck and shoulders, making him even more beautiful than he already is. He had on some black boots that fit what’s he wearing and should be kind of girly since it’s halfway up his calves, but it really fit him and it just made him more delicate.

    Alan had his head down, his cheeks blazing red. I wanted to drag him out of the classroom and fuck him senseless until his voice and body gives out, but I lost that privilege and hope that he understands that I had to protect my place on the social throne. I’m not going to throw away my position as top dog for some guy. That’s stupid.

    “Holy shit. That’s Alan?” Cody whispered next to me, his voice full of shock and disbelief. “The fag’s cute.”

    I scowled at Cody for calling Alan a fag, and for saying that he’s cute. He’s MINE. Wait, no. I shook my head. Alan’s not mine, not anymore. I lost that privilege during the party, but I had no idea I would fall for the little guy. Wait, fall for him? No, I mean, I like him and care for him a lot more than anyone I’ve met, but to fall for him, as in LOVE him? No. I sighed at my now swirling jumble of thoughts.

    The bell rang, bringing me out of my thoughts. Alan was the first one to move out of that door and I can’t blame him. With all of the attention he’s getting and his looks alone would bring eyes on him anywhere at anytime.

    I packed up my stuff, which I didn’t even use and headed for my next class. Already, the halls are bussing with the small town rumor mill. That means, everyone will know by third period. The curse of living in a small town. Almost everyone gossips.

    Second and third period flew by with my mind wandering about Alan, the party, and other things I didn’t want to think about or else I would seriously regret it.

    I headed on over to the cafeteria after third, my eyes discreetly searching for a certain someone. I already knew where he would be, but things can change. And I was right when I saw a glimpse of Alan heading out to the picnic table outside under the tree. I wanted to go with him, but my friends in cafeteria would wonder why I’m sitting with them. I don’t want them to know I still have feelings for Alan, or actually HAVE feelings for him. That would make things worse for him and for me.

    Thin arms latched onto mine and I had to force a smile as Amanda hung off my arm, like a possessive bitch in heat. The analogy really does make perfect sense when it comes to her. Her breasts pressed against my arm and I had to fight the urge to fling her off like a diseased monkey.

    Amanda blinked at me, her eyes staring upward in what I think is a seductive look, but it made her look like she was stoned and her brain was acting reeeeally slow. Not that it was working at a normal pace to begin with, with all the head banging she had trying to fuck every guy in this school. Why did I fuck her again?

    “Hey baby. Wanna hang out at my place today? My parents won’t be home tonight,” she said in a husky voice that was suppose to be sexy, but only made me mentally roll my eyes. Outside, I was still smiling at her. She circled a finger on my chest. “We can… hang out.”

    Now I really wanted to fling her across the room and boil my shirt, then my arm. Never in my life have I been this disgusted. How the hell could I have fucked this slutty whore bag? And baby? Does she think we’re in a relationship or something?

    I shrugged her off. “Can’t. I have to work on a project.” Which isn’t a lie, but it’s due till next week and I already finished. What the hell else was I suppose to do over the weekends other than drink until I was drunk off my ass?

    Amanda pouted, and it’s obvious she practiced in the mirror. Guys would practically be jumping her bones right now. Not me. I wasn’t even phased. I just went over to the far side of the room where all of my teammates and buddies sat. I didn’t bother getting lunch. From the smell, I can tell it’s something I DON’T want to eat or get close to.

    Keith saw mw coming and waved me over. The other guys greeted me with loud ‘heys’ and shouts. I grinned and ‘heyed’ them all back, feeling a little bit at ease from the return of Alan. All of them treated me right, with respect and listened to my every word. Why the hell did I ever doubt them for a minute?

    Lunch went by slowly and I tried to concentrate on the multiple conversations going on, but my mind always wandered to Alan. What is he doing? Did he cook today? Why did he uncover his face today? Is there something special about today?

    The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I walked on over with Keith and some of my pals to fourth period, by body tense with anticipation to see Alan again. I know, how stupid am I? But for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about him.

    “Can you believe that scrawny fag actually showed up today?” Trevor, one of my teammates, said.

    Keith shook his head. “No kidding. Who would have thought the tiny nerd had a face like that?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “No wonder it took that long for you to break his little heart. I’m straight as a pole, but the thought of fucking him isn’t all that disgusting.”

    Connor threw him a disgusted look. “Are you turning into a fag?”

    Keith rolled his eyes. “Fuck no. I’m just saying, not doing. I bet you thought of doing him too.”

    Connor scratched his head in frustration. “Maybe for a second.”

     Everyone laughed, except me. I wanted to punch them all until their skulls cracked. I wanted to hit them until blood painted the walls, their blood.

    “One thing’s for sure, that fag’s dangerous. He’s already spreading his gay disease. Why else are we thinking of fucking him, even for a second?” Connor spat in anger.

    Trevor nodded. “You’re right. I think we should have a little talk with the fairy.”

    I didn’t say anything. What’s the point in defending him when it’ll only confuse my friends as to why I’m defending him when I’m the one who hurt him to begin with? Yeah, no need to get them suspicious that I actually DO have feelings for him, not that I will confess to him or anything. Everything I worked hard for is on the line.

    We arrived to class, my eyes instantly lasered towards the seat where Alan sits, but was disappointed when he wasn’t there. Of course I hid my disappointment and went over to my seat, Keith right behind me. I dumped my shit on the table and was about to take a seat when Alan came in, his presence perking something inside of me, but I quickly squashed it.

    Connor gestured for Trevor, Keith, a few other guys, and I to come over, unease growing in my gut. I didn’t want to do this, but I had to. I hope Alan understands that I need the social status. It IS high school after all. This place is a dog eat dog prison cell repeating the same thing over and over again, like a cycle.

    Alan was in his own little world, not even hearing the four of us come over to his table. I slammed my hand down on his table, scaring him. He jumped in his seat, startled. “Hey Alan. I though you wouldn’t show your face after what I did to you at the party,” I said, forcing my voice to sound vicious and amused when all I felt was guilt and regret. I wanted to grovel, but I didn’t.

    Alan surprised me by suddenly calming down, his body relaxed as he laid back in his chair. The only thing is, the air surrounding him became cold and I couldn’t help, but be nervous with what I’m about to find out.

    Trevor snickered. “Maybe he wants to be humiliated more. Who the hell would want this scrawny fag?”

    Alan’s head slowly raised until he locked eyes with him, eyes so cold and dead, it almost killed me. “But who was the one who turned me into a fag in the first place? After all, he was the one who approached me first, not the other way around.” His voice was empty of emotion, but held something dangerous underneath. He sighed. “I better make an appointment to the doctors to see if I caught any STDs.” Ouch.

    I didn’t show how much that hurt since I know I deserve whatever he says about me. Instead, I acted the way I should act and pretended to be furious, which isn’t all that hard considering what Connor did next.

    Connor grabbed Alan’s shirt and pulled him out of his seat. “What did you say fairy? Do you want to get beat up?” He growled, his body vibrating with the violence reflecting in his eyes.

    Alan surprised us all by shrugging, his body relaxed, composed, completely chill. “Go ahead. It’s not as if I haven’t been hurt before.” When his eyes locked with mine, I cringed. I felt like I was staring at death. His eyes were two blue orbs of nothingness. “Are you happy now?” He gave a cold smile that made me think of those porcelain dolls. It was completely fake.

    The bell rang. People who were staring at us turned quickly away and pretended they weren’t seeing everything that was happening. Conner let go of Alan’s shirt, still fuming and disappointed he didn’t get to do any damage. I was happy he wasn’t able to. We all went back to our seats.

    Keith slide into his seat next to me and chuckled. “Never thought Alan had a backbone.”

    I nodded. “Yeah..” I didn’t want to talk to him, or to anyone, but just kept continuing.

    Keith licked his lips. “But I can see why it took you a lot longer to break his little nerdy heart.” He glanced at Alan’s direction and grinned. “If I had known, I would have done it for you.”

    I raised an eyebrow, which wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I couldn’t beat the shit out of him right? Well not in the classroom. “You turning into a fag?”

    Keith shook his head. “Nah, I’m straight. I love pussies, not dick, but I can make an exception for him.”

    I didn’t say anything else because I knew if I said one word, the restraint I had not smash Keith’s head on the corner of the table repeatedly, would slip out of my hands, then all hell would break loose.

     I didn’t do the math assignment. Why the hell should I do it? It’s not as if doing it would raise my grades up, especially since I have no idea what the hell we’re doing in the first place. Might as well not do it for all the wasted effort on getting everything wrong. Instead, I sat in my seat and laid my head on the table. I stayed this way until I heard footsteps and looked up to see Alan already turning in his work before turning back to relax in his seat. I couldn’t help but watch him, couldn’t help but want to grab him and leave this fucked up place, but that’s never going to happen. He doesn’t trust me, hell, I don’t trust myself.

    Class ended. At the corner of my eye, I saw Alan slip out of the class and onto his next class, weaving his way through the annoying assholes that block up the hall. I didn’t bother dodging those annoying traffic makers. I plowed my way through, pushing people out of my way, lifting my middle finger at them as I passed. Yeah, I’m so nice sometimes.

    Fuck fifth. I’m not going to sit through an hour of some dumb shit lecture I know I have no fucking clue what the teacher’s saying. No offense to all of those teachers, but you can’t get through to an idiot who already doesn’t want to listen to this crap.

    I headed out of the school and went over to the butchery, which also sold some really good sandwiches. I didn’t eat anything for breakfast and the school lunch was disgusting enough to be experimented on. Is pizza suppose to be green?

    Hank, the owner of the store was behind the counter, selling Mrs. Green, a nearly blind old lady whose smaller than Alan, and that’s small. She greeted me with a wave of her wrinkly hand, showing me her pearly white fake teeth, then leaving with a bag in hand.

    Hank, a very butch man with rolls of muscles and tanned skin had the looks of a bruiser, or a wrestler. His nose was bumpy, like it was broken a few times, a square face with a goatee. His hands were huge and meaty, big enough to wrap one hand around your neck and squeeze your life out. He wore a black t-shirt, old blue leans and an apron with blood splattered on the white cloth.

    Hank saw me and smiled, showing me the gold tooth he had installed after having one of his permanent teeth disappear. Funny, he has looks that would scare the living hell out of a normal person, but he’s actually a good guy. And he’s great with people.

    “Hey Chase. Don’t you have school?” Hank asked, his voice strong and loud. That voice would scare the crap out of anyone if they weren’t paying attention, but who wouldn’t pay attention to him. I mean, he’s HUGE. Probably 7’2.

    I laughed. “Let’s just say, I wouldn’t be doing anything productive whether or not I’m there.”

    Hand shook his head and laughed, the sound echoing throughout the entire room. “Then it’s good that you’re here.”

    MaryAnn, his wife, smacked him with her small iron fists. Her flaming red hair’s tied into a ponytail, her 5’3 tiny frame stood in a scolding pose, the ones you see when your parents found out about you eating candy before dinner. Her brown doe eyes narrowed into slits, her fists now on her hips. She wore a red, form hugging t-shirt and cut off jean shorts underneath an apron identical to Hank’s, only there were no blood stains.

    MaryAnn waved her fist at him. “Don’t say skipping school is good. What are you thinking?”

    Hank slumped his shoulders in defeat. I had to hold in a chuckle at how hilarious this looks. The giant being scolded by a pixie. Well if you think about it in a sci-fi fantasy way. Oh whatever, you all know what I mean right?

    “Sorry.” Hank said, his head down.

    MaryAnn nodded. “Apology accepted.” She turned her wrath on me. “I will let this be the only exception so be happy. Now, do you want the usual?”

    I nodded. “With extra cheese.”

    MaryAnn nodded and went over to the sandwich part of the butchery, taking out some freshly baked French bread and slicing it open before stacking the meat slices, lettuce, onion, mayo, mustard, three different slices of cheese, pickles, and smothered the insides of the bread with liverwurst. She wrapped up the delicious bundle in paper, and handed it to me. “That’ll be $3.50.”

    I handed her a ten. “Keep the change.” I said when she handed me the leftover money.

    I waved at them as I left the store and went to the convenience store to buy myself a Pepsi can, then went straight to the park where I ate my food in peace. The first bite of the yummy goodness that is the sandwich, washed down with the icy chill of soda was the best. The liverwurst was the one thing that brought it all together. Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

    By the time I finished and headed back to school, it was a few minutes before gym started. Might as well change and get it over with.

    There were already a few people in the locker room and I can hear people laughing at something. I didn’t really bother to look. I didn’t care. I went over to my locker instead and changed, then texted on my phone for a few minutes until the bell rang before I left to go to the gym.

    The place was empty. Bored already, I headed over to the bleachers and sat there, waiting for class to start. My boys came in a few minutes later, all of them laughing at something. They spotted me and came over, all of them still laughing.

    “What’s so funny?” I asked, even though I didn’t actually care.

    Trevor was the one who spoke up first. “We broke into Alan’s locker and took his gym clothes.”

    Anger flamed inside me, filling my veins with the searing heat of violence, but I held it in by breathing in and out slowly to calm myself. “What did you do with the clothes?”

    “Threw it in the dumpster.” Trevor said with his chest puffed out like he did something courageous. It made him look like a complete idiot, an idiot would love to smack around until he became a permanent bobble head.

    Mr. Lassiter blew his whistle, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Alright, attendance everyone.”

    I got off the bleachers and headed towards the crowd sitting on the floor. My eyes searched for a certain someone, but he wasn’t there, nor was Melissa or Cal. James was already on the floor, his legs crossed and looking bored. I went over to him, not wanting to sit next to Trevor and the others or I’ll explode and kill him.

    The doors to the gym opened and the sounds of laughter echoed in the gymnasium. Everyone turned, including me and saw Cal and Melissa with Alan between the two, laughing hard. My eyes were glued on Alan and what he’s wearing.

    Oh fuck, he looks so faceable in that oversized shirt and barely there shorts hidden beneath the shirt. His pale legs, thin and soft were displayed for everyone to see. His t-shirt was so big, it fell to one side, exposing a pale shoulder. His scar, the one on his neck was covered by a collar and the shirt wasn’t low enough to show his scars. His legs on the other hand….

    I stared at his legs and saw his thighs come together, causing me to look up and find him squirming from all of the eyes on him. Well who wouldn’t look at him? I would. I would stare at him as I rip off his clothes and pin him against the wall, letting his legs wrap around my waist as I…. Oh fuck, stop thinking me. I don’t want to get a fucking boner in gym.

    “Okay, so for the next few days, we are doing a physical test. The boys go first, then the girls,” Mr. Lassiter announced after roll call. “We are going to measure your height and weight. Boys, line up.”

    I sighed as I got up and headed over to the old equipment room where all of the rusted and unused crap pile up to rot. It smelled old and dusty. When the door opened, all of the dust flew all over the place and into the air. Gross.

    I heard a sneeze and glanced behind me to see Cal hovering over Alan, while Alan rubbed his twitching nose. I turned away and glared at the unclean window. Fate are you trying to make me get a boner because I would literally kidnap him and tie him on my bed so I can fuck him for hours, days.

    “Each person will go by alphabetical order. When you are done, you may return to the gym and have free time,” Mr. Lassiter announced as he order two guys to set up the equipment. It’s not as if I could care about their names.

    It took fucking forever for these bitches to finish figuring out if they are fat or short. Whatever. I stepped on the scale when my name was called, then went over to the next thing to check out my weight. After that, I got off and headed straight for the gym, restraining myself from even glancing at Alan and his sexy gym outfit.

    I mentally face palmed myself and focused on a mini soccer game that’s happening. I joined in and we played hard. Sweat was flying, breaths short, hearts beating fast, legs tripping one another as discreetly as possible. Oh yeah, I needed this.

    I don’t know how long we played, but it wasn’t long until class was over. I wiped off the sweat from my face using the bottom of my shirt, exposing my abs. A chilly breeze brushed my sweaty, flushed skin, causing goose bumps, but that wasn’t what caught my attention. I stared at the other side of the court to see an amazing match with Alan partnering with Melissa and Cal with James. The really amazing thing is that Melissa and Alan are beating the hell out of the two football players.

    Alan flew around the court in rapid dribbles, spinning around Cal who tried to block the pass to Melissa. Melissa caught the ball and ran down to the basket. Melissa nodded to Alan, signaling something because Alan slipped away from Cal and ran to an open space, Melissa tossing the ball towards him.

    I couldn’t understand what was happening, just let my jaw drop a bit when Alan dribbled the ball passed Cal and James, running towards a crouched Melissa, her hands linked together. Alan’s foot hit her hand and she sent him flying into the air, him slam dunking the ball.

    “Holy shit.” I whispered in awe. My heart pounded as Alan jumped down from holding the basket and ran over to Melissa whooping in victory. His face was covered in sweat, his cheeks a rosy red, chest heaving from a good workout. I haven’t seen his smile in a long time and let me tell you, it hit me like a motherfucker right in the gut. I forgot how to breathe as his face lit up his entire being, heck, the entire room and I can tell everyone else was looking in shock at the awesomeness of it.

    Melissa started doing a victory dance, but I can’t really tell. It’s more of like someone electrocuting a retarded bird. With all her flapping around, it makes perfect sense. James and Cal groaned in defeat and said something, then laughed. Melissa was gloating, and continued on with her dance.

    Alan stiffened, then slowly turned and locked eyes with mine, his eyes wide. I slowly let my eyes touch every part of him from his hair and down to his legs, where they lingered on his exposed thighs. He was shaking and I had to mentally slap the urge to go up to him and feast on his sexy ass, but his suddenly stopped.

    I snapped my eyes to his and saw his blank expression again, only this time his eyes gave me a thorough once over, then turned his head away without a second thought. I smirked at the insult clearly given to me. Never thought he had that in him.

    We all marched back to the locker rooms to change and go home. I did and left, my eyes instinctively going to Alan’s direction, but I shook my head and quickly got out. I sighed when I took the firsts step outside and rubbed my temple. I’m still into Alan. I mean, it’s not as if I wanted to break it off with him, and even if I did, then I wouldn’t have done it the way I did. But I did. And I suck.

    Daniel, one of my football buds and an actual decent guy in the group of assholes, came ran over to me. His shaggy blond hair was all over the place, but that’s the wind’s fault. His unique hazel eyes lured a lot of girls, and some guys into his bed. He’s kind of like me, a person who likes to have a good fuck with whoever, only he’s not an asshole.

    Daniel wheezed a bit as he stopped in front of me. “Hey, me and a bunch of guys are kind of stuck in detention so we can’t do anything for an hour.”

    I nodded. “What did you morons do now?”

    Daniel blushed. “I didn’t do anything. I was only there because they threatened to tell Firden Miklen that I have a crush on her.” He shuddered a bit and I couldn’t blame him.

    Firden Milken was a three pound girl with shirt thick hair tied in braids and somehow curved up like the Wendy’s girl. She had a thick unibrow, thin mustache and yellow buck teeth that reminded me of creepy cave men. She always smelled of sweat and something rotting and the way she dresses in those grandma clothes didn’t help.

    I sighed. “That sucks buddy.”

    Daniel slumped his shoulders. “Yeah. Anyways, the guys thought that tossing a football in class would be fun and since I’m on the team and I caught the ball, that made me apart of it too. The only reason why I caught the ball was for it to all stop, but I guess that only brought trouble. Shouldn’t have tried in the first place if it only landed me in detention.”

    I patted his shoulder. “No problem. I’ll come with you.”

    Daniel’s eyes widened. “To detention?”

    I shrugged. “It’s not as if I have anything else to do.”

    So that’s how I ended up in a classroom with a fourth of the team manning each desk. Some of their girlfriends and a few groupies were here too and I can guess it’s because we’re here that they’re here too. I glanced at the clock and sighed. One hour. Might as well take a nap.


    Someone shook my shoulders, waking me up from my nap. Fuck, and I was having a great dream about me, Alan, and some whip cream although that’s stupid since that’s never going to happen.

    Daniel patted my back. “Hour’s up Chase. Let’s bounce.”

    I stretched and got out, walking with the group of detentionees to the parking lot, all of them talking about shit I didn’t give a rat’s ass about. All I wanted to do was take a shower and sleep.

    Something kept poking the back of my head and I looked around to see why. My settled on a car by the side exit. A familiar dude came out of the car and went over to someone with a mess of white hair.

    The guy, who I know I saw somewhere before, came out of the car and kissed Alan’s hand, which made me see red Alan, who was blushing looked even better than before. His hair, now framing his face made him look delicate and fragile, but also sexy as hell.

    That was when it hit me. I remember where I saw him now. It was at the game and he’s the one who came over to our side of the field and acted all chummy with Alan. I clenched my hand. That fucker. I took one step in their direction, but stopped myself and instead went over to my car, waving at the guys, who waved back.

    I sat in my car, breathing heavily. I wanted to kill the guy and I know it’s a bad idea to look back, but I did anyways and I regret it. The fucker opened the passenger side of his car and waited for Alan to get into the seat before slamming the door shut and opened the trunk to put his things away. Melissa came over to Alan’s window and said something before winking and left.

    Dread and anger built up inside me as I figured out what Alan and the fucker are doing. From the way Melissa reacted, confirmed it all. They’re going on a date.

    I slammed my head on the wheel repeatedly as the sharp pain in my heart pierced me and I regret ever doing what I did to Alan. I wish I never agreed to the bet if it hurt this much. If I had known I would actually fall for the little guy, I would’ve avoided the bet in the first place.

    A thought hit me from all of the inner chaos, which is shocking. I forgot about the envelope from this morning. I dug in my bag and ripped opened the envelope and read the papers, the pain in my heart increasing as each word stabbed my mind like a thousand needles.

    It’s a letter from Ben and what he told me made me want to beat myself up more than I already do. Alan Thorpe is actually Alan Silverstein, who from the picture and information I’m given, lived in this town five years ago. And to top it all off, he’s my elementary school crush, my first love. How could I have not known?

    I’m such a dumb asshole and now I’ve ruined my relationship with the one person I’ve ever loved.


Eni curls long fake mustache: Mwa ha ha ha. Meh prettehs, i have given you a wonderful tuna of surprise yes?

Melissa: Hey! I love your mustache!

Eni screeches and hides mustache: My mustache! MINE! Stay away WHORE!

Melissa stares at me in outrage: WHORE?!

Eni slaps Melissa with a Twilight book: My mustache!

Eni throws book at her right on the head and runs away with flailing arms: Run meh! Run!

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