copyright 2017 Chris Smith All rights reserved.
"Caught in a whirlwind of chaos."
I heard someone rummaging around downstairs in the middle of the night. I climbed down the ladder and flipped the lights. Dad was walking around in the living room.
"Dad? What's going on?" I asked.
"Well, Your Mother was wandering around. I think she found something and tried to eat it," Dad said.
"What was it?" I asked.
"I don't know. I think it was in the bathroom," Dad said.
Dad was agitated. It was clear to me, this was a man on the edge. He hadn't slept well in the days since Mom had come home from the care facility. We'd gotten her off the pharmaceutical medications. But she still had them in her system and she hadn't settled down with being home and the routine of home.
She'd been gone a month. Three weeks at the Hospital and a week at the care facility. Mom had become accustomed to noise and lights and a bunch of people running around at all hours. At home, it was the exact opposite environment. There weren't any lights on and no one else was around. We lived in a quiet rural setting about fifteen minutes to town.
I walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. I opened each and every cabinet in search of what Mom could have eaten. I didn't see anything obvious. Then I found a small motel size bar of soap. I opened it up, and part of the corner was gone.
Mom had decided to try getting herself clean from the inside out. Not exactly the way to go. But certainly a unique approach.
"Dad?" I said as I walked back into the room.
"Yeah," he said.
"She ate part of a bar of soap," I said.
"Jesus," Dad said.
His edges started to fray a little more.
I don't know why, but it seemed funny to me. I couldn't stop laughing.
I walked over to Mom lying in bed and leaned down to say goodnight.
"Goodnight Mom," I said.
"Hey Kid?" Mom asked.
"Yeah?" I said.
"You got any chocolate?" Mom said with an exhale of soap breath.
"No Mom. I don't," I said.
The smell of soap on her breath was the final clincher for me. I broke down in unrelenting laughter. Dad wasn't amused in the slightest. The poor guy was running on fumes and pure anger at the entire situation.
"Are you guys going to be okay?" I asked
"I hope so," Dad said.
Dad was pissed and too fucking tired to be dealing with this shit. We both had no idea what the reality of bringing Mom home was going to be like. Clearly we'd been unprepared for it. Though I'm not sure how we would have prepared ourselves. But we were steadfast on getting her off all Western Medicine's medications.
I turned off the light and headed back upstairs. I was still laughing. Then I started thinking about how dangerous it might be to eat soap and started to freak out. So I stayed up for a bit searching the internet for any reason I should be really alarmed. But it had only been a very small piece of soap. I hoped she'd be okay. I hoped somehow we'd all be okay.
CARING BRIDGE UPDATE
Days at Home: 3
What to say...what to say.
I could tell you tale of the "Soap Incident" at 3 a.m. But why bore you with such details. I laughed my butt off, in the darkness of our house trying to understand it myself.
Now, to be fair. Mom is kind of fun at night. She seems to have a lot of energy, and her mood, generally is pretty upbeat. The only issue, she SHOULD be asleep.
With all of that, Mom and Dad slept better last night. Dad reported her tossing and turning was reduced by 75%. And Dad got a few more hours of sleep, setting aside the infamous "Soap Incident" at 3 a.m.
Last night, before, during, and after dinner, Mom seemed "sane" and coherent. It was amazing. She was also sane and coherent this morning, all morning.
A funny story, while she was at the skilled care facility, we came to visit her. Normally I lean in and hug her and kiss her on her cheek, which I did.
She said, "Wait a minute. Come back here."
So, I leaned back in, figuring she wanted me to hug her again. Only this time, she grabbed my face, and kissed me, a big smackaroonie like she kisses my Dad (where she holds his face and presses her lips to his for a long time). It was funny!
So some loved ones are passing along info about alternative therapies, which we are VERY open to.
These are the categories, generally, of which there may be multiple issues within each category that we have to help support Mom with (not in any order):
1. Physical Self (health, disease, balance, chemical, structural, energetic, nutritional, exercise, etc).
2. Emotional Self (moods, self-esteem, festering wounds & unresolved issues from the past, etc.)
3. Brain (dementia, being challenged, learning new things, moods, exercises to help deal with frustration, etc.).
4. Spiritual (faith, healing, getting reconnected with her soul, etc.)
Those are all I've put together so far. Obviously, all those categories, work synergistic-ally together. So, it's like trying to put out multiple fires at once.
The moods, by far, have to be the killer, per stress wise. She throws tantrums, and then expects to get away with it without any consequences. I spent 15min with her in the bathroom at work, because she had a tantrum, and threw a bunch of things (toilet covers) around and didn't want to clean up her mess. So, I asked her to please put the covers she had thrown on the floor, in the trash. She refused. We waited in the bathroom, until she did. In between I repeatedly asked her to put the covers in the trash, she refused, said a bunch of nasty things to me, tried to hit and punch me several times. I did not give in and kept my cool. Eventually, she complied. But it took 15 min. That's the type of things Dad and I are dealing with multiple times, every day.
I told Dad this morning, it is important we work her out every day, and help get all the physical frustration out of her. Therefore, she'll have less energy to throw tantrums and try to physically harm us. Well, this is my theory. :)
Now, we have seen the moods and mental alertness get a lot better. We attribute that to her being back on her nutritional supplements, being home, being off the sedatives, love, prayers and positive thoughts from all the people supporting us right now, and exercise.
Anyway, I'm too tired right now to think of much else to say.
Thank you again for all your support, love, prayers, thoughts, kindness, gifts, donations, offers to help, etc. We appreciate it, A LOT!
Blessings to you and yours,
Tip: When dealing with someone who is emotionally unstable, best not to allow yourself to get sucked into the void of reactivity as well. Keep your cool.
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