Bright, Shining Light

Chapter 14

"Now, the only things that I care about are walking off this island with me. Let's go home."
The movie that Spencer and Nora we're watching came to an end, fading into the credit reel. They looked at each other, Nora feeling suddenly bashful.
"Well I didn't expect the film version to be that different from the original novel. Did you hate it?" She asked in a whisper.
It had been a long movie, and Lancelot was snoring deeply at their feet.
"No, I didn't." He whispered back, the soft smile on his face only illuminated by the dim glow of the television as his head rested sleepily on the back of the couch.
"It has more closure I think." She agreed, resting her head back as well.
With her bright eyes staring back at him, he yet again had the urge kiss her.
"He got the girl this time around. He wasn't so fortunate in the hands of Alexandre Dumas."
"He did." Her voice was barely audible as her eyes darted down to his full lips.
Without thinking for another second, Spencer leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. After a moment's pause, a split second of uncertainty, she leaned into him as well.
He straightened his posture, raising a hand to rest on her cheek as he kissed her again. It was deeper this time, and for the first time in years his mind went blissfully blank. The only thing he felt was her skin on his. All he smelled was the sweet shampoo of her hair. The small sigh that escaped her lips between kisses was like a symphony to his ears.
Just then, the half-eaten bowl of popcorn that had been sitting between them toppled to the floor.
"Oh!" Nora exclaimed, tearing herself away from him. She knelt on the floor, tears filling her eyes and her heart hammering in her chest as she attempted to quickly scoop the kernels back into the bowl. She refused to lookup at him. "I'm sorry, I'll get it cleaned up."
"It's okay, it wasn't your fault." He mumbled, turning on a lamp beside the sofa.
Lancelot had woken with a start, watching the two of them with interest. Spencer joined her on the floor, helping her clean the rest of the mess. She stood abruptly once they were finished.
"I'm uh, I'm really tired." She lied, feeling nothing but her heart thudding somewhere in her throat which made it hard to breathe. "I think I'll go to bed now."
"Nora..."
"Goodnight, Spencer."
He watched as she hurried into her room, holding the door open for Lancelot before closing it swiftly behind them. Sighing, he lowered his forehead into his hands. His own heart was racing too, and he tried to process what had just happened.
Nora sat on her bed, breathing heavily. She wondered momentarily if she had been dreaming, yet when she licked her lips she could still taste him there. Her cheek still tingled with the electrifying memory of his hand caressing her face. A deep longing began to form in the pit of her stomach, tempting her to go back out there and finish what they had started.
"No." She reprimanded herself, wiping at a tear that had escaped her eye. "You don't deserve a man like him."
It was true. She knew in her mind that he deserved someone beautiful, inside and out. Someone who wasn't so... damaged. Someone who could offer him all the carefree joy in life that he could possibly imagine. That girl wasn't her, as much as it broke her just then to accept it. Tears fell more rapidly, and she curled herself into the bed sheets.

***

  The next few days were awkward. Nora stayed in her room until Spencer left for the office each morning. She made dinner in advance before he could return home and, other than the one evening she spent at a practice session with the K9 instructor at Quantico, most of her time was spent in her room trying to concentrate on a book or at the dog park with Lancelot.
  Other than the required small talk that happened in passing, they didn't speak much at all. Nora hoped that they could put it behind them, but things between them were just awkward now. There was also the overwhelming desire to kiss him again gnawing at her insides each second she didn't keep herself busy.
  She had finally received her updated identification and social security cards in the mail, which meant that she could start job hunting. Lancelot went with her to each prospective establishment, as she wanted to be transparent about the necessity of having him by her side at all times. He had been granted the title of service animal by his training facility, to aid with the anxiety and post-trauma stress that stemmed from her years with Brian. Spencer had set her up with a primary care physician and a trusted therapist, both of which she was grateful for. It felt good to be finally getting her life back on track.
That Saturday, she woke up feeling lonely. The clock on her bedside table told her that Spencer had probably left for work already, her having just missed him. She sat up and rubbed her eyes before looking around for Lancelot. He was sitting beside her bed, looking at her like he was ready for his morning walk and some breakfast.
"Good morning, handsome boy." She gushed, scratching behind his ears and kissing his nose. Then she sighed.
"I have to make things right with Spencer. Any ideas?" She asked him.
He responded by tilting his head to one side. Nora laughed.
"You're cute, you know that?"